Let Your Heart Hold Fast
by curlybean
Summary: Elizabeth Burke fell in love with five year old Neal from the very first moment her blue eyes met his. She knew that something was terribly wrong in his young life, though, and she felt a sudden desire to protect him with everything she had. Could she, with the help of her husband, keep Neal safe and give him what he needed? AU, some mention of abuse.
1. Chapter 1

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: However much I wish it true, White Collar does not belong to me. No copyright infringement is intended, as I am merely playing in the White Collar sandbox owned by Jeff Eastin and USA Network.

* * *

Elizabeth Burke had a busy day ahead of her, so she started it off with a strong cup of coffee. She had hoped to get an earlier start than what she was getting, but Peter had other ideas when they first woke up. Now, she was driving as fast as Manhattan traffic would allow to make it to her appointment on time.

Luckily, she was able to find a prime parking spot and she walked through the doors of Burke Premier Events just minutes before her customer. With just enough time to throw her handbag on her desk and start a pot of coffee, Elizabeth plastered a smile on her face as the door opened.

"Good morning! You must be Jenna Miller. I'm Elizabeth Burke." Elizabeth walked forward and shook hands with the frazzled looking young woman. "I thought your husband was joining us today."

The young woman looked nervously out the window, before turning back to face Elizabeth. "He should be here soon, Mrs. Burke. We had a little issue this morning that he's dealing with."

Elizabeth was curious as to what had the woman acting so strangely, but knew it really wasn't any of her business. Leading Jenna over to her reception area, she offered her tea or coffee, and minutes later, they both were settled on the sofa, looking through a catalog of place settings.

When the door opened sometime later, Elizabeth looked up to see an older gentleman dragging in a young boy who looked to be about four or five. The poor boy looked scared and had tears in his eyes. Just the sight of him tugged at Elizabeth's heart, as she took in his big blue eyes and curly brown hair.

"William, is everything okay?"

The man, who Elizabeth found extremely intimidating, both in stature and attitude, threw a quick glare at the boy at his side. "It's fine. Let's get this over with, shall we?"

After a quick introduction, Elizabeth led them back over to the sofa. She was trying to stay focused on the task at hand, but her attention kept moving to the small boy who had settled himself into a nearby chair. He was looking around the room and eventually his eyes met Elizabeth's. She tried to give him a smile, but he looked away as soon as he realized she was looking at him.

Elizabeth looked back at Jenna and William. "William, would you like some tea or coffee?" she offered.

"No, thank you, Mrs. Burke. I just really want to get this over with. I have a meeting in less than an hour."

Elizabeth looked back at the boy, who was looking longingly at the plate of cookies over by the coffee pot. "Jenna, would you mind if I gave your son a cookie?"

After getting her okay, Elizabeth stood up and walked over to where he was sitting. "Hi, there. My name is Elizabeth. Can you tell me your name?" Elizabeth was aware that both William and Jenna were watching the exchange closely, but not in a normal way. It seemed to her that they were afraid of what the boy would say to her, which she found more than strange.

The boy quickly looked at William and Jenna, before turning back to her. "Hi, Lizbef," he said in a small voice. "I'm Neaw."

Elizabeth smiled at the adorable way he talked. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Neal. Would you like a cookie?'

Neal looked again at William and Jenna, before answering. "Yes, pwease."

Elizabeth stood up and held out her hand, which Neal took, timidly. Leading him over to the table, she let him pick out a cookie, smiling as she noticed how his tongue stuck out as he tried to decide which cookie he wanted.

"So, Neal, how old are you? Four?"

She smiled again at the look of outrage on the boy's face as he straightened up, trying to make himself look taller. "I'm five, Lizbef."

"Well, of course you are, Neal. " She couldn't seem to stop smiling at the boy in front of her, especially when he grinned at her with a mouth full of chocolate. "How's your cookie, sweetie? Do you want another one?"

Before he could answer, William stood up and walked over to where they were standing. "You've had enough, Neal. Go sit down."

"But…"

"Now, Neal!" William's tone of voice was harsh and somewhat terrifying.

Without another word, Neal walked as quickly as his little legs would take him back to the chair he had been sitting in. Elizabeth could see his lower lip trembling, as he tried to sit still in the chair. He failed miserably, though, as he couldn't seem to stop swinging his legs back and forth, nervously.

Elizabeth could tell that William was getting irritated at Neal's constant movement and she tried her best to redirect his attention. "What do you think about the venue for the gala, William? The place is beautiful and definitely large enough for the estimated guest count. Is there anything else I need to provide for?"

William moved his irritated attention from Neal to Elizabeth, much to her relief. "It should be fine, Mrs. Burke. I trust you to ensure that everything will be perfect." Turning to Jenna, he continued. "We should get going, Jenna."

Jenna stood and walked over to Neal, grabbing him by the shirt sleeve. "Let's go, kid. And this time you had better keep up with us. No dawdling, do you hear me?"

"I wasn't dawding, Jenna. You wewe walking too fast. I couldn't keep up."

"That's enough, Neal. Hush up." Jenna answered, harshly.

After making another appointment and saying goodbye, Elizabeth watched as William and Jenna walked out the door, with Neal following close behind.

* * *

The rest of the day was filled with phone calls to vendors and meetings with customers, but Elizabeth's focus kept drifting back to the blue-eyed boy she had met that morning. She didn't know why, but she felt like there was something going on with William and Jenna. Something that involved that beautiful little blue-eyed boy. Something that made her nervous and broke her heart.

Once she got home, Elizabeth still found it hard to keep her mind off of Neal. In the short time she had been with him, she had detected a sadness in him that no five year old little boy should feel. When Peter finally came home, he immediately could tell that something was bothering his wife.

"How was your day, El?"

Elizabeth had never been very good at keeping things to herself, especially when Peter was looking so concerned. Within minutes of him walking through the door, she had poured out the events of her morning, tears filling her eyes as she remembered Neal's chocolate covered grin.

"It sounds to me like the little guy was just being a handful, hon."

"It wasn't like that, Peter. He was genuinely scared."

Peter hugged his wife tightly, not knowing what to say to make his wife feel better. A part of him believed that his wife really had picked up on something strange, knowing that her intuition was usually right, but without proof of any wrongdoing, there really wasn't anything he could do.

"What do you say we get something to eat, El? I think you could use something to take your mind off of things."

Elizabeth didn't look convinced, but really didn't know what else to do. "I don't think it will work, but I am a little hungry, I guess. How does Italian sound?"

* * *

Over the next few days, Elizabeth tried to keep busy enough to not dwell on what could be going on with Neal. Unfortunately for her, it didn't work, and by Thursday she was about to go crazy. Finally, she decided to take matters into her own hands, and without really thinking things through, she made a phone call to Jenna.

"Hi, Jenna? It's Elizabeth Burke. I was wondering if we could set up a meeting this afternoon to go over a few things. Maybe around three o'clock? Okay, I'll see you then."

At three o'clock, Elizabeth was waiting impatiently for Jenna to show up. She didn't even know if Neal would come with Jenna, but she hoped so. More than anything, she just really wanted to see the child again. Ten minutes after three, the door opened and William, Jenna and Neal walked in. Elizabeth's heart lurched at the sight of the small boy, who looked even smaller, for some reason.

"Mrs. Burke, is there a problem?"

Elizabeth maneuvered herself so she was standing in front of Neal. "Just a small one, William. It seems the place settings you picked out are unavailable, so we'll need to choose a different one. Are the two of you up to looking at a few more catalogs?"

"Yes, of course, Elizabeth," Jenna answered. "Whatever you need."

After sitting Jenna and William down with several catalogs, Elizabeth turned to Neal. "Hello again, Neal. How are you?"

Neal looked shyly up at Elizabeth. "Hi, Lizbef. Can I have anothew cookie?"

"Of course, you can, sweetie, if it's okay with your mom and dad." After asking if it was okay, Elizabeth once again led Neal over to the table. As he reached for the plate of cookies, Elizabeth noticed a rather large bruise on Neal's arm.

"Neal? What happened to your arm?"

Neal quickly pulled his arm back, hiding it behind his back, as he looked over at William and Jenna.

"Neal?"

"I, uh….I fell at school, Lizbef." Elizabeth noticed that Neal didn't look at her as he said that, but decided not to push it.

"It looks like it hurts, sweetie."

This time Neal looked her square in the eye, as he answered. "It doesn't huwt, Lizbef, honest. It's just a bwuise."

Elizabeth wanted desperately to sweep Neal up in her arms and hug him tightly. There was something about the little boy that brought out her protective instincts and she felt a sudden desire to make sure that he always had a smile on his adorable little face.

"I guess that means you're just a tough young man, doesn't it? Elizabeth winked at Neal, who grinned up at her.

"That's me, Lizbef…I'm tough as snails."

Elizabeth laughed out loud at that. _Tough as snails? How adorable was that?!_

A few minutes later, Jenna and William had finished looking through the catalog, this time picking out several choices, in case something happened again. Before Elizabeth was ready, they were walking out the door again, Neal following closely behind like before. This time, though, the little guy turned back around and gave her a big wave and an even bigger smile.

Elizabeth immediately started trying to figure out a way to see Neal again.

* * *

Author's note: Hey, ya'll. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this story. For those of you who have read my other story, I want you to know that it's because of you that I felt the need to write another one so quickly. You guys made it so easy for a terrified new writer to share something so personal.

I have no idea where this story is going, I just know that I'm already loving writing it. I hope you all enjoy it, too.

Oh, and there may be hints of child abuse in this story, but it will never be graphic in nature. I promise.


	2. Shattered

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 2

* * *

Warning: Just so you know, there is a very minor scene of spanking in this chapter.

* * *

Throughout the next couple of months, Elizabeth tried to engineer another meeting that would bring her face to face with Neal. She didn't know exactly what it was about the young boy that made her feel the way she felt, she just knew that she couldn't stop thinking of him.

Peter was growing more and more concerned by the day, realizing that his wife was consumed with what he felt was an unhealthy obsession. In his heart of hearts, he worried about the fragility of Elizabeth's psyche, after everything she had been through.

Peter and Elizabeth hadn't consciously waited to have children. It was just something that had happened as they both worked hard to get their respected careers started. Before they knew it, years had gone by with it still being just the two of them. Eventually, all of Elizabeth's friends had started their own families, and Elizabeth finally realized that she was ready to be a mother.

After almost two years of trying, Elizabeth finally became pregnant, something that made Peter happier and more terrified than he had ever been. He doted on his wife, as much as she would let him, and the two of them found great joy in the knowledge that the life they had created was growing in Elizabeth.

Everything was going great until halfway through the fifth month of her pregnancy, when Elizabeth was in a pretty severe car accident. Peter would never forget getting the phone call that told him that his wife was in the hospital. Once he had gotten there, she was already in surgery, and Peter found himself pacing the floor, waiting to hear news of his family.

The news he received was devastating. When the surgeon came out, Peter could tell by the look on his face that things would never be the same again. The doctor explained to him that his wife had lost the baby and had also had to undergo a hysterectomy, cementing the fact that they would never have children of their own. Elizabeth had done well with the surgery, but Peter knew that the impact of this accident and its fallout could shatter her completely.

The doctor offered to inform Elizabeth of what had happened, but Peter knew that he had to be the one to tell her. It was definitely the hardest thing he had ever had to do. The nurses were wonderful through everything and Peter and Elizabeth were even allowed to spend some precious time with their beautiful baby, a little boy they decided to name after both of their grandfathers. As they stared into the perfect little face of their son, Jackson Louis Burke, their hearts shattered with the magnitude of their loss.

It had taken a long time for both of them to somewhat recover from losing their child, but eventually they were able to continue on. Even so, Peter tended to take more walks by himself than before and Elizabeth could often be found staring off into space with a look of sorrow and longing so powerful that it broke Peter's heart.

Because of everything that had happened, Peter was more than concerned with his wife's obsession with this boy named Neal. At first, he thought that it was just a passing thing, but he was beginning to realize that it was more than that. More days than not, she brought up something about Neal, whether it was wondering how he was doing or mentioning the fact that she saw a boy that looked just like him in the park. Peter was at a loss as to what to do and when he confronted her with his concern, she became so upset that she grabbed Satchmo and went for a walk.

Peter decided that he had better back off and just keep an eye on everything for now.

* * *

Elizabeth had tried to engineer a few more meetings with Jenna and William in the hopes of seeing Neal again, but it didn't work. It wasn't until the evening of the gala, four months after seeing Neal for the first time, that she saw him again.

Peter accompanied her to the benefit gala hosted by William and Jenna Miller. Everything looked beautiful and was running smoothly, but Elizabeth was preoccupied with the fact that Neal was currently sitting in the back of the kitchen. It seemed that the babysitter Jenna had arranged for him had cancelled at the last minute, leaving them no choice but to bring him with them.

At Peter's first sight of the little boy, he could begin to understand why Elizabeth was so taken by him. The kid was definitely cute with his charming grin, big blue eyes and brown curls. He knew that the kid was five years old, but he definitely looked younger, especially sitting in the tall chair at the back with his feet busily kicking the chair legs. He also thought that the kid could be a handful, noticing that he seemed to be a fireball of energy.

Elizabeth introduced Peter to William, Jenna and Neal, before leading the Millers out to the front hall to greet the guests. Peter was surprised to find himself alone with the little boy, who was eyeing him curiously.

"So, what have you got there, Neal?" Peter pointed at the sketch pad sitting in front of the boy.

Neal pulled the pad closer to him, not wanting to share his drawing with the man standing over him. "Nothing. It's just my dw….drawing pad." He answered slowly and deliberately.

"Hmmm….I wish I had a drawing pad like that." Peter gave the boy a smile and pulled up a chair next to him, hoping to make him feel a little more comfortable. "Do you like to draw?"

Neal gave Peter a big smile in return. "It's my favorite thing to do. Do you want to see?"

Before too long, Neal was proudly showing Peter his sketches, and Peter was amazed to see the talent the little boy possessed.

"These are really good, Neal. Do you take art lessons?"

Neal's smile suddenly left his face, leaving Peter feeling bereft in its absence. "No, William says d-drawing is for sissies. He doesn't like it when I do it."

Peter looked down at Neal, who had a sad look on his face. "Well, kid, sometimes dads don't always like the same things as their children."

Neal looked up at Peter with a strange look. "William's not my dad."

"What do you mean, Neal? Is he your step-dad? He's married to your mom, right?"

Neal looked back down to his drawing pad before answering in a voice so quiet that Peter had to lean down to hear. "Jenna's not my mom."

Before Peter could question Neal any more, Elizabeth returned to check on them. Peter was taken aback by the smile that lit up both Neal's and his wife's face.

"Neal, how have you been? I've missed you!"

"Hi, Lizbef! I missed you, too."

Peter watched on as Elizabeth and Neal talked to each other. He was amazed by how natural it all seemed and for just a split second he was seeing his wife as the mother that she so desperately wanted to be.

By the end of the evening, Elizabeth had spent more time in the back with Neal than she did overseeing the gala. That in itself wasn't a big thing, owing to the fact that she had a wonderful group of people working for her. Everything went seamlessly, and the Millers were extremely happy with how it all turned out.

When the last guest finally left, Elizabeth, Peter, William and Jenna returned to the kitchen to find a very sleepy Neal trying desperately to keep his eyes open as he sat at the table.

Elizabeth smiled at the adorableness of the exhausted child, who was sporting a milk mustache, flushed cheeks and hands covered in charcoal from his pencils. William, on the other hand, was furious at the sight before him.

"Damn it, Neal. What have you been doing? You're a complete mess."

Neal's eyes jerked wide open at the sound of William's voice and his lower lip began to tremble.

"Don't look at me that way, boy. Get up and clean yourself up."

Neal quickly climbed down from the chair and headed for the bathroom. Elizabeth and Peter were both staring in shock at what they thought was a complete overreaction on William's part. What did he expect from a five year old boy that had been sitting in a back room for almost four hours?

Once Neal returned, looking much cleaner, but no less adorable, William grabbed him by the arm and started walking to the front. "William, wait!" Neal cried, but William kept on walking. Neal dug in his heels and tried to pull his arm out of William's grasp. "William, wait! I need my drawing pad."

Elizabeth watched in horror as William jerked hard on Neal's little arm, trying to stop him from squirming, before planting three solid smacks on the boy's backside. Peter, on the other hand, couldn't let the man's behavior continue. "Is that really necessary, Mr. Miller?"

William, who looked to be a man not used to having his actions questioned, glared at Peter. "Yes, Mr. Burke, I think it is necessary. Neal is being unruly and I won't tolerate that."

"I hardly think his behavior is unruly. The boy just wants his sketch pad." Peter walked over to the table, picked up the sketch pad and charcoal pencils, and walked them back to Neal. Before Neal could reach for them, though, William grabbed them and handed them to Jenna.

"You won't be getting those back for a while, Neal. Now, come on."

After saying one last thank you to Elizabeth, William walked out the door, still holding on tightly to Neal's arm. The last thing Peter and Elizabeth saw were Neal's tear-filled blue eyes looking back at them.

* * *

On the way home that night, Elizabeth was too quiet. Peter knew that she was unsettled by William's treatment of Neal and he didn't blame her. He felt much the same way.

Peter had grown up in a home where it wasn't unusual for his dad to dole out the occasional spanking when it was deserved, so that wasn't really what was bothering him. What really unsettled him was the way William talked to Neal and the way he jerked his arm so harshly. Thinking back on the evening, he remembered what Neal had said about William and Jenna.

"Hon, what do you know about William and Jenna Miller?"

Elizabeth jumped at the sound of Peter's voice. She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she had completely forgotten that she was in the car with her husband. "What do I know? Not much, really. I just know that he is the CEO and owner of Miller Technologies and Manufacturing and that Jenna is mostly involved in running his charity foundation. Why?"

"And they introduced Neal to you as their son?"

Elizabeth thought about her first meeting with the Millers, trying to remember how they had introduced him. "No, actually they just told me his name. I think I might have jumped to the conclusion that he was their son. I did ask her if she minded if I got her son a cookie and she didn't correct me. Why, Peter? What are you thinking?"

"I don't know, El. Neal told me tonight that William and Jenna weren't his mom and dad. Maybe it's just something worth checking into."

* * *

Author's note: I know this one isn't as long as my usual chapters, but I haven't had much time to write lately. I would love to hear your thoughts on the story so far, if you are so inclined. Reviews are much appreciated and cherished. I will eventually reply to reviews, as well, just so you know.


	3. I've Got You

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 3

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Peter and Elizabeth thought often of young Neal. Elizabeth was hoping that Peter would use his FBI resources to look into William and Jenna Miller, but he was reluctant to do so without good reason. He had finally worked up to Special Agent in Charge of the White Collar unit and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize his position.

Eventually, though, Elizabeth wore him down and he agreed to ask one of his agents to vet both of the Millers. What he found out was disconcerting, to say the least. Without digging too deep, William appeared to be an honest business man who had taken over the family business at a young age, after his father and grandfather were killed in an accident. He had managed to bring the business out of a fairly significant downfall and steer it into a contemporary, successful business.

Digging deeper, though, it all fell apart, legally. William had misappropriated millions of dollars' worth of funds through false business accounts and fraud. His charity organization was a front for laundering money and tax evasion on a grand scheme. In Peter's quest to figure out what was going on with Neal, he had opened up a rather large can of worms that his colleagues were all eager to take care of.

It wasn't until Peter checked out Jenna Miller that he was able to figure out their relationship with Neal. Jenna was actually the older sister of Neal's mother and had gained custody of Neal when his mother died the year before. Neal's father was out of the picture and there was no other family that Peter could find.

Peter shared this news at dinner that night with Elizabeth. She was sad to hear that Neal had lost his mother at such a young age, especially since that meant that he was now with people that didn't seem to care for him. She questioned her husband relentlessly about what it would mean for Neal once they were able to take William Miller down for his various crimes. She wasn't happy to hear that they still had nothing on Jenna, which meant that Neal would still have to stay with an aunt that didn't seem to want him.

Peter promised her that he would do what he could to make sure that Jenna was on the up and up, ensuring that Neal wasn't in any danger.

* * *

It took almost another month for Peter and his crew to be able to gather the evidence they needed to arrest William Miller. Unfortunately, they had tipped him off early on in the investigation, making it that much harder to find the evidence they needed.

On the day Peter finally authorized the arrest, his team showed up at Miller Technologies and Manufacturing with the arrest warrant to find William holed up in his office with a gun. Peter wasn't sure how he found out that they were on the way, but it definitely made things more difficult for them. Peter was horrified to find out that there were reports of a young boy in the office, as well. He knew that more than likely it was Neal and suddenly they were all faced with a hostage situation.

NYPD and the SWAT team arrived fairly quickly, forcing Peter and his crew to step back. They watched from a safe distance as the hostage negotiator talked with William for several hours. They were trying to get some food sent up to the office, but William wasn't letting them.

Eventually, the sun set, leaving them to wait impatiently in the dark for a breakthrough of some kind. Peter had called Elizabeth to tell her that he was going to be late, but didn't tell her what was really going on, knowing that she would be beside herself with worry. Instead, he was worrying enough for both of them.

* * *

By three in the morning, Peter had had enough of waiting around. It was obvious that the hostage negotiator was having very little luck in dealing with William and Peter thought that it was time to take matters into his own hands.

After discussing a few things with the lead officer and the negotiator, Peter was able to convince them to let him talk to William. He wasn't sure how receptive the man would be to him, either, but he had to give it a try for Neal's sake.

Once he had initiated contact, he was surprised to find that William was willing to talk to him. He was even more surprised to find out that apparently Jenna had left William earlier that day when she found out that the FBI was closing in on him. That obviously meant that she had left Neal behind, as well, which probably made William even angrier.

Peter tried to talk the man into letting Neal go, appealing to his sensibility without any luck. He did, however, get the man to agree to let him come up to the office to talk face to face. The SWAT commander wasn't too happy with this idea, but Peter wasn't going to back down.

Leaving his gun downstairs, Peter walked up to the fifth floor of the building and after identifying himself, he walked into William's office. Quickly taking in the scene around him, Peter found William sitting behind his desk. Looking around, he finally found a sleeping Neal who was leaning against the wall by the window.

"Mr. Burke, I don't know what you think you're going to accomplish by coming up here. I don't have anything else to say to you."

Peter noticed the gun that was laying on the desk, inches away from William's hands. He felt naked without his own gun, but was at least glad that he had a two-way earpiece in that would allow SWAT to know what was going on.

"Mr. Miller, I'm just here to see if we can work things out without anyone getting hurt." Peter stole another quick glance at Neal, who appeared to still be sleeping. "I'm sorry to hear about Jenna leaving you. I'm sure that was a big shock."

William laughed at that. "Not a shock at all, Burke. I'm not fool enough to believe that she married me for any other reason than the fact that I'm rich. Now that I'm faced with losing millions, why would I expect her to stay around? I have to admit, though, that I didn't expect to get saddled with a five year old."

"Listen, Mr. Miller…..how about if I get Neal out of here so you and I can talk?"

"I don't think so, Burke. I figure that he's the only insurance policy I have against the FBI swarming the building."

"Come on," Peter answered. "He's just a kid, William, and I'm sure he's hungry, tired and scared. I give you my word that the FBI will stay back and let us figure things out, if you let me get him out of here."

"No way. The kid stays. You, on the other hand, should leave, Agent Burke. We have nothing to talk about."

"I'm not leaving without Neal, so it seems to me that you and I _do_ have something to talk about."

Peter took off his jacket and bent down to cover Neal. He was glad that the kid didn't wake up, thinking that the less he was awake for the better. Turning back to face William, he was shocked to see that the man had picked up his gun.

"Mr. Miller...William, please put the gun down. I'm unarmed and there's no need for that." Peter tried to talk as calmly as he could, but it didn't seem to be working. William continued to hold the gun, passing it from hand to hand.

When Miller stood up and started walking around the room, Peter made sure to place his body between the man and the sleeping child. Miller's movements were becoming more and more agitated as the seconds went by, and Peter had a bad feeling that something was about to go down.

"Agent Burke, I've been trying to figure out how the FBI caught on to what was going on here and the only theory I have is that somehow in the process of planning the benefit gala through your wife's business, you must have found something that triggered your interest." Miller looked at Neal, who was showing signs of stirring because of the increased activity in the room. "Or, maybe it was something that the boy said to you while you and your wife were coddling him in the back room that night."

"Mr. Miller, listen….I'm exhausted and I can tell that you are, too. Let's end this, okay? There's no way you're getting out of this, but if you cooperate with me right now, maybe I can work out some kind of deal for you."

"Some kind of deal? Like what, Agent Burke? You'll make sure I get a cell that faces the sunrise? Or make sure I get a good roommate? That's not going to work for me. I'm not going to prison, Burke. So, either you find a way to get me out of here, or I'll make my own way." With this, Miller pointed his gun towards Neal, who by this time was wide awake.

Peter didn't know the boy was awake until he heard a sharp intake of breath behind him. Not taking his eyes off of the man in front of him, Peter spoke to the scared boy. "Neal, remember me? I'm Elizabeth's husband, Peter. Just stay right there, okay? Don't move and just listen to what I say. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yes, sir," Neal answered in a small, tired voice.

Peter and William continued to talk, with Peter doing his best not to escalate the situation. He knew he wasn't getting through to the man, and he knew that something had to give pretty soon. SWAT wouldn't let this drag on for too much longer.

Things finally came to a head when Peter heard Neal quietly crying behind him. "Neal, are you okay?" he asked, without turning around.

"I have to go to the bathroom, Peter." Neal's voice was shaky. "And I'm thirsty."

Keeping his eye on Miller, Peter answered. "Okay, bud, let's see what we can do about that." Before he could say anything to William, the man answered Neal himself.

"That's the problem, isn't it, boy? You're always needing something. Every time I turn around, I'm faced with giving you something or taking you somewhere. You're not even my kid and I'm tired of being stuck with you!"

"William, come on, man….the kid just needs to use the bathroom. That's all. It's no big deal."

William was swinging the gun around even more frantically, making Peter tremendously nervous. "How do I know this isn't something the two of you cooked up, Burke? Is this part of your plan to get the boy out of here? Then what? You're going to take me down? I don't think so, Burke. Neal, get over here!"

Peter's heart sank at these words. "No, Neal. Stay where you are!"

William's face was growing redder by the second. "Neal, if you don't get over here right now, I'll shoot your friend and then I'll shoot you."

Peter heard Neal getting to his feet and tried to grab the boy as he ran past him. "Neal! No!"

He was too late and seconds later, William was holding Neal in front of him, his gun pointed at his head. All Peter could do at the moment was stare at the big blue eyes that were begging him for help and ask himself how he had lost control of the situation so quickly.

* * *

The events of the next several minutes were forever imbedded in Peter's memory. Everything happened rather quickly, but it seemed to play out in slow motion before him. He watched in horror as Miller continued to jab the gun into Neal's head, but before he could think to do anything, Neal bent his neck down and bit hard on the arm that was still wrapped around his chest. At the same time, he twisted his body around, taking advantage of William's shock at being bitten. Just as Neal darted off to the side, Peter jumped into action, bringing his leg around in a roundhouse kick, knocking the gun out of William's hand.

Without wasting any time, he jumped on the man, bringing him down to the floor in a tangled heap and before anything else could happen, the office door flew open and they were surrounded by the SWAT team.

Once William Miller was handcuffed, Peter turned to look for Neal, finding him standing over in the corner. Peter couldn't believe that the boy had done what he did. He couldn't help the slight bit of anger he felt at the recklessness of Neal's actions, but at the same time, he was glad to have the situation over.

Rushing over to the boy, he knelt down in front of him and looked him over from head to toe. "Are you okay, Neal? Are you hurt?"

He was surprised when Neal threw himself into his chest, throwing his little arms around Peter's neck. He could feel the small body trembling, and he pulled him in tighter. "It's okay, little man. It's all over, okay? You're safe now. I've got you."

They stayed like that for several minutes before Neal finally pulled away. Looking up at Peter with his impossibly blue eyes, Neal finally spoke. "Peter, I really, really have to use the bathroom!"

* * *

Author's note: Whew! That William is a piece of work, isn't he? I'm glad he's out of the picture. I hope those of you who have read my other story don't mind that Peter is using the 'little man' endearment again. It just seems to be so perfect for Neal and definitely seems like something Peter would say.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter. I'm not the best action writer, so I hope that everything flowed easily enough and wasn't too hard to follow in the last part of the chapter. Thank you all for the love I'm already feeling for this story. You guys are amazing!


	4. Monkeys Never Fall

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 4

* * *

It took almost two hours to finish everything at the scene and by the time Peter was done, he was exhausted. To his regret, Neal had been taken by Child Protective Services an hour earlier. That particular scene left him feeling like the worst man on the planet since Hitler.

Neal had put up quite a fight when he found out that he was being taken away from Peter. It seemed the little guy had latched on to the man who had saved him and really wasn't willing to let him go.

Peter knelt down in front of Neal, his heart breaking at the sight of the little boy trying not to cry.

"Listen, Neal….you need to go with that nice lady over there, okay? She's going to find you something to eat and a warm bed to sleep in. You can trust her, okay?"

Neal's impossibly blue eyes filled with tears. "I don't want to go with her, Peter. I want to stay here with you. Please! I'll be good, I promise. "

"Hey, buddy, it's not a matter of you being good. I have a few things to take care of and it's almost five o'clock in the morning. You need to sleep."

"I'm not tired, Peter! I slept in William's office, remember?" Peter almost would have been convinced, if Neal's statement hadn't been punctuated by a massive yawn.

"I'm sorry, Neal, but you have to go. I don't have any control over that decision."

"Call Lizbef, then. She'll let me stay!"

Peter laughed at that. "Elizabeth definitely controls a lot of things, but not this. I'm sorry, little man. You're going to have to cowboy up and go with Ms. Barnett."

By this time, the tears had overflowed and were streaming down Neal's little face. He abruptly wiped them off his face, pulled himself to stand taller and walked over to the lady that was going to take him away. Right before they got into her car, Neal turned back around to face Peter. "Peter? What does 'cowboy up' mean?"

* * *

It was seven in the morning by the time Peter finally got home. He was hoping that Elizabeth was still in bed, so he could postpone the talk he knew he had to have with her, but she was always an early riser. As predicted, he found her sitting on the sofa, with a book and a cup of coffee in her hands.

"Hey, hon. You look exhausted."

Peter bent down and gave his wife a kiss. "I _am_ exhausted, El. It was a long night."

"Are you hungry? I can fix you some breakfast." Elizabeth put her book and coffee down and stood up.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something first." Peter waited for her to sit back down before talking. "El, we took down William Miller last night.

"That's great, Peter!" Elizabeth looked happy for all of two seconds before realizing that Peter had a strange look on his face. "What happened, Peter? What aren't you telling me?"

"We went to arrest him and found out that he was holed up in his office with a gun. We also found out that he had a hostage. It was Neal, El."

Elizabeth stood up suddenly, knocking her cup of coffee off the table. "Is he okay? What happened?"

"He's fine, hon. Tired, hungry and a little shaken, but fine."

"Where is he, Peter? I want to see him."

Peter knew she was going to say that, but still wasn't prepared to answer. "CPS took him, El. I'm not sure where, but they'll make sure he's safe."

"What about Jenna, Peter? Why didn't she take him home?"

Peter spent the next few minutes explaining everything to Elizabeth, who grew more and more distressed as the story went along. "Oh, hon, he must be so scared! Can we see him? Just to check on him?"

"I'll see what I can do, El, but first I need to get some sleep."

* * *

When Peter woke up he found Elizabeth lying next to him, obviously waiting for him to wake up. He couldn't help the groan that escaped him, his bones aching immensely.

"Okay, hon, you're up. Let's go."

"Hold on, El. I need to make a few calls first. I don't even know where he was taken."

Elizabeth pulled Peter up to his feet and handed him his phone. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

Peter knew better than to argue with his wife. A few minutes later, he was on the phone with someone from Child Protective Services, trying to figure out where Neal had gone. Eventually, he was able to find out where he was and had made arrangements to visit with the young boy. When he hung up, he turned to face Elizabeth, but she was nowhere to be found. Seconds later, she came out of the closet, holding a handful of his clothes.

"Let's go, Peter. Get in the shower!"

* * *

Peter parked the car a block away from the group home where they had taken Neal. He and Elizabeth walked up to the rather worn looking house, trying to stay objective about what they were seeing. There were toys strewn about the front yard and the front porch looked like it was about to collapse. Knocking on the front door, they waited patiently until someone answered.

After several more knocks, a rather frazzled looking woman holding a crying baby answered the door.

"Can I help you?"

Elizabeth squeezed Peter's hand before answering. "Yes, I'm Elizabeth Burke and this is my husband, Peter. We're here to see Neal."

"Oh, Ms. Barnett said you wouldn't be here until later." The woman didn't look too happy about the interruption to her day.

"We're sorry, but we just couldn't wait to see him. I'm sure you understand."

The woman obviously didn't understand, but moved aside anyway, as she handed the still crying baby over to another young woman. "Yes, well, he's probably out in the backyard with the other kids. I'll show you the way."

Neither of them was impressed to hear that she really didn't even know where the child was for sure. They followed her through the messy house, out into a backyard that was teeming with kids.

"How many kids do you have in your care, Mrs….?" Peter asked.

"It's Mrs. O'Connell and we currently have nine kids in our care. We're considered a group home and there are three adults working here, so the state allows us to have up to twelve kids at a time. We are a short term emergency placement center, so most of the kids are only with us for a few days."

Peter and Elizabeth looked around, growing more and more scared when they couldn't find Neal. Mrs. O'Connell asked one of the older kids if he knew where Neal was and the kid pointed over to a corner of the yard that was unoccupied.

"I think he's in the tree again, Mrs. O."

"What is with that kid?" she said, exasperatedly. "That's the third time today he's climbed that tree."

Looking up into the tall tree, Peter and Elizabeth were shocked to see Neal sitting in the crook of a branch, at least ten feet up.

"How in the world did he get up there?" Elizabeth asked, breathlessly.

"He's like a little monkey," the woman answered. "He can climb up that tree in less than five seconds. I told him not to do it, but he obviously didn't listen. In fact, he hasn't listened to a thing anyone has said since he showed up."

Peter stood directly under the branch that Neal was sitting in. "Neal? You need to come down, okay?" he called out. Neal didn't even blink. "Neal, buddy, I need you to climb down."

Neal still didn't answer. It looked as if the boy didn't even register that someone was talking to him. Turning back to the woman, Peter asked her if Neal had slept at all since he had been brought to her.

"Not a wink," she answered. "Ms. Barnett told me that he hadn't slept all night, but when I laid him down in the bed, he just stared up at the ceiling. He stayed that way for hours, until I finally sent him outside for some fresh air. He hasn't eaten anything, either."

Elizabeth's heart hurt at the thought of how tired and hungry the little boy must be. Turning back to the tree, she called up to Neal. "Neal? Sweetie, it's Elizabeth. Can you hear me? Neal?"

To Elizabeth's surprise, Neal finally turned his head to look down at her. "Lizbef? Is that really you?"

"Yes, sweetie, it's me. Peter and I came to see you. Can you come down from the tree?"

Seconds later, Neal had shimmied down the tree and landed right in front of Elizabeth. Looking up at her, he gave her a tired, but magnificent grin. "Did you really come to see me?"

"Of course, we did, Neal. We wanted to make sure that you were doing okay? How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Lizbef. Can we go now? I don't like it here."

Elizabeth's heart nearly shattered at Neal's words. She didn't want to have to tell him that they weren't there to take him away, especially when he was looking at her like he was.

Peter knew his wife was at a loss for words and stepped in to save her. "Neal, I'm afraid you're going to have to stay here for a while. You can't come with us, okay? Elizabeth and I just wanted to make sure that you were okay."

"But, Peter….I did what you said. Remember? You told me to 'cowboy up' and I did, I promise. I don't want to stay here anymore. Please!"

Elizabeth knelt down to be eye level with Neal. "Oh, sweetie…..we'd take you with us if we could, but it doesn't work like that. You have to stay here for now, until we can figure something out."

Elizabeth looked up into Peter's eyes, begging him to do something and Peter knew that she would settle for nothing less than taking Neal home with her. He also knew that it wouldn't be as easy as he hoped it would be. CPS was notorious for following protocol and procedure and he doubted that his FBI badge would help him out in this situation.

"Listen, Neal….Elizabeth and I are going to see if we can take you home with us, but it might take a little while, okay? In the meantime, you have to stay here with Mrs. O'Connell."

Neal looked more forlorn than any five year old should ever look. "Okay, Peter. But, hurry, okay? I really don't like it here. It's too noisy and I can't hear myself blink."

The adults laughed at Neal's blunder and all three were taken in by the innocent, but serious expression on his face.

"I think that's supposed to be 'I can't hear myself think,' little man," Peter said with a smile.

"Well, that doesn't even make sense, Peter, "Neal answered, seriously. "You can't _hear yourself think_….it's all in your head."

Peter, Elizabeth and Mrs. O'Connell laughed again at the adorableness of Neal's indignation.

* * *

After spending an hour with Neal, Peter and Elizabeth decided to leave. It was obvious that the poor kid was about to fall asleep in the bowl of cereal they had convinced him to eat. He tried to convince them that he wasn't tired, but they all knew better.

"Neal, we need to go so we can get started on figuring out a plan to bring you home with us, okay? And you need to take a nap." Elizabeth smiled at the big yawn that escaped Neal.

"I'm five years old, Lizbef. I'm too old to take a nap," Neal answered, indignantly.

"You're never too old to take a nap, if you need one, Neal. You haven't slept in a long time, so you definitely need a nap. How about if I tuck you into bed, sweetie? Would you like that?"

After Neal admitted that he would like it if Elizabeth tucked him in, he stood up and grabbed her hand. Peter stopped them before they walked through the door. "Just a minute, Neal," he said. "I want to talk to you about something first. " Once he was sure that he had the boy's attention, he continued. "While you're here, I expect you to eat something at every meal and to go to sleep when Mrs. O'Connell tells you to, okay? And I don't want to hear that you've been climbing that tree anymore, either, little man. It's much too dangerous, and I don't want to get a phone call telling me that you've fallen and cracked your head open. Do you understand?"

"I understand, Peter, but I wouldn't fall out of the tree. My mama said I have monkey blood in me and monkeys never fall."

* * *

Leaving Neal at the group home was a hard thing to do for both of them. It had taken Neal about two minutes to fall asleep, lulled easily by Elizabeth's soft voice reading the story and her gentle hand rubbing his back.

Now they were driving down the expressway, both lost in their own thoughts. It was Peter who finally broke the silence. "Are we really thinking of doing this, El? Taking care of a five year old is tough work and I think this particular five year old will be even tougher. He's full of energy and I don't know if I can keep up with him."

"Peter, we have to do this. Did you see the way he lit up when he realized we were there? He's all alone in the world and for some reason he feels safe with us. If we don't do this, he'll just get passed around from foster home to foster home and I couldn't live with myself if that were to happen. Could you?"

Peter didn't miss the longing in her eyes and he knew, without a doubt, that he would do whatever it took to make her happy.

"No, I couldn't, hon, so let's go and see about bringing Neal home."

* * *

Author's note: I am completely and humbly blown away by the reception of this story so far. You guys are all amazing and I want to thank you all for taking the time to read. I'm trying hard to keep Neal in character as much as I can, but it's proving to be a little harder than I thought, so bear with me, please.

I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas, if you are so inclined. I really have no idea where I'm taking this story, so I'm definitely open to suggestions. I sometimes have a loose idea of where a new chapter is heading, but I'm always surprised at where I end up by the time I'm done writing it. I've often heard of stories writing themselves and now I really understand what that means, lol.


	5. Home Is Where The Heart Is

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 5

* * *

Peter and Elizabeth had hoped to have things settled with CPS in a short time, but that short time ended up being almost three weeks. After background checks, character references, and a home study, they were finally approved as foster care parents. Unfortunately, by this time Neal had been moved out of Mrs. O'Connell's home and into another more permanent home. Peter and Elizabeth hoped that it hadn't been hard on the poor boy to move again.

Once they were officially approved, they were given the okay to pick Neal up from his current home. They immediately left their house and drove straight to Queens, both of them lost in their own thoughts the entire trip. Peter was still nervous about how taking care of a small child would impact their lives. They both were very career-oriented, but that was going to have to change once Neal was a part of their lives. Elizabeth, on the other hand, was only concerned with the possibility of having to give Neal up some day. She had already fallen completely in love with the little boy and wanted nothing more than to be his mother. To think that he might someday be taken away from them was more than she could fathom.

By the time they arrived, both of their hearts were beating fast and their nerves were all on edge. The house they pulled up to looked a little better taken care of than the previous home, yet still worn. As they walked up to the front door, they could hear the sounds of children playing inside. Elizabeth listened for the sound of Neal's voice, but couldn't pick it out in the cacophony of sounds.

Once the door was opened, they introduced themselves, explaining that they were there to pick up Neal. Ms. Barnett was supposed to meet them there, so they were led into the living room to wait for her. Both Peter and Elizabeth looked around the room for any sign of Neal, but found nothing but the evidence that there were indeed children there.

After Ms. Barnett arrived and all of the paperwork was verified, Elizabeth asked Mrs. Smithson, who was Neal's current foster parent, if they could finally see him. Mrs. Smithson cleared her throat and passed a quick glance at Ms. Barnett, before looking at the Burkes.

"Before I get him, I'd like to talk to you about a few things."

Peter and Elizabeth both gave her their full attention, both of them feeling suddenly nauseous.

"Neal has been here for almost two weeks and in that time I haven't heard him speak a single word. He's been cooperative with everything, but he hasn't initiated any kind of interaction with anyone. He's been eating, but barely enough to be acceptable, and he's been having nightmares almost every night."

Peter and Elizabeth were horrified to hear of what Neal had been going through. More than ever, they wanted to see the little boy, hoping that he would be relieved to see them.

* * *

When Mrs. Smithson finally led Neal into the living room, Peter and Elizabeth were shocked at how he looked. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked as if he had lost weight. Worse than that, though, the boy held nothing of his normal vim and vigor, acting completely subdued.

Elizabeth quickly stood up and went over to kneel before the small boy, wanting to pull him into her arms, but holding herself back. "Hi, Neal. How are you, sweetie?"

Neal looked up at Elizabeth and she thought she saw a glimmer of something in his eyes. Her eyes filled with tears when he answered her. "Hi, Lizbef…..Did you come to see me?"

"Of course, we did, sweetie. We've missed you!"

Neal gave her a small smile, before looking over at Peter, who stood up and walked over to him, as well. "Hey, little man….it's good to see you."

Neal gave Peter the same small smile he had given Elizabeth. "Hi, Peter," he said, quietly.

Ms. Barnett and Mrs. Smithson left the three of them alone. Peter and Elizabeth sat back down on the sofa and Elizabeth patted the seat next to her, trying to get Neal to sit down. Instead, he walked over to an armchair across from them and sat down. Peter and Elizabeth shared a sad look.

"How have you been, Neal?" Elizabeth asked again. When he didn't answer, she tried another tact. "Mrs. Smithson seems nice. Are there other kids here, too?"

Neal looked at Elizabeth and Peter, looking as if he had something important to say, but just couldn't bring himself to say it. He studied his shoes, which were both untied, instead.

"Sweetie, what's wrong? Peter and I were hoping you would be happy to see us."

Neal's eyes slowly moved up to Elizabeth. "I am, Lizbef, but I'm sad, too. I don't want you to leave again."

"Oh, Neal….I'm so sorry, sweetie. We should have told you right away. Peter and I are here to take you home, Neal. You're coming with us."

This time, Neal's eyes shot over to Peter. "Really? You mean it?" He jumped to his feet, barely able to contain his excitement.

"Yes, sir, buddy. You're coming home with us. Mrs. Smithson is gathering your stuff right now.

Before either of them knew what was happening, Neal flung himself at Elizabeth, knocking her back into the sofa. "Really, Lizbef? I get to come home with you?"

"Really, Neal. You're coming with us."

Elizabeth was surprised to feel Neal's body trembling in her arms and she knew that he was crying. "Hey, there….why are you crying, sweetie?" She asked, as she looked at Peter over Neal's head.

"I'm not crying, Lizbef. All my happiness is just leaking out."

* * *

Once they had Neal settled into his booster seat, they started toward home. Neal was like a totally different child than the one they had seen earlier. Peter and Elizabeth couldn't keep the smiles off their faces as they listened to the constant chatter coming from the backseat.

"…and then you know what happened, Peter? Mrs. Smithson said that I could climb up the tree to get the ball down. She told me to be careful, but I just looked at her. I wanted to remind her that monkeys don't fall, but I didn't feel like talking. Do you think she might have read my mind? Because right after I thought that, she called me a monkey and told me that I was the fastest tree climber that she'd ever seen. That night she even made banana pudding for me. Isn't that cool? She was really nice, even though she made me eat a bite of everything that was on my plate. I wanted to tell her that I didn't like peas and sparagus, but I didn't feel like talking. So you know what I did, Lizbef? When she wasn't looking I put some of mine onto her plate and she never noticed. Wasn't that smart? And when she came up to check on me at night, I pretended to be asleep, and then as soon as she left, I used a flashlight I found in the garage and read my book. I like to read, Peter. Did you know that? I like to read almost as much as I like to draw. But drawing is the best thing ever. When we get to your house, I'll draw you a picture, Lizbef, so you should think about what you want me to draw. I can draw anything…..animals, people, landskates, whatever you want, Lizbef. Drawing is my most favorite thing to do."

By the time they arrived at their house, Peter and Elizabeth felt like their heads were spinning. Neal had literally talked the whole way home, and surprisingly, never once repeated himself. They were amazed at how much the kid had to say. He was still talking as Peter opened his door to help him out of the booster seat.

"Is this your house? Wow! It sure is a nice house. Does it have a backyard, Lizbef? Do I get to sleep upstairs? I like climbing stairs."

Peter was sure the boy would keep on talking, so he quickly cut in. "Neal, Elizabeth doesn't like it when we wear our shoes in the house, so we always take them off, okay? Now, if you follow Elizabeth, she'll give you a tour of the house. I need to go check on Satchmo."

"Who's Satchmo, Peter?"

"Satchmo is our dog, kid. Don't worry….he's the friendliest dog you've ever seen. And probably the laziest."

Neal wanted to know more about Satchmo, but Elizabeth pulled him off in the direction of the kitchen. Ten minutes later, she had given him a quick tour of the house, before ending up back down in the living room, where Peter and Satchmo were waiting.

"Peter, did you see my room? It has a sketchpad on a big easel. I've always wanted one of those. And Lizbef says that I can draw on the wall, because it's a chalkboard. No one ever lets me draw on the wall."

Before he could continue, his attention was shifted to Satchmo, who was looking up at him, his tail wagging like crazy. Neal knelt down on the floor and Satchmo immediately went to him, covering his face with licks. Peter and Elizabeth were both delighted to hear the giggles that were escaping Neal.

After several minutes of this, Peter called Satchmo back to him, and Elizabeth took Neal into the kitchen to wash his slobbery hands and face. Now, Neal couldn't stop talking about Satchmo, asking Elizabeth if he knew any tricks and whether or not he liked to play fetch. Eventually, Neal slowed down his questions and comments and they could tell he was getting tired. It had been a long and emotional day for all of them and Peter and Elizabeth were hoping to call it an early night.

After eating a quick meal of leftover chicken casserole, Elizabeth informed Neal that it was time to take a bath and get ready for bed. Neal immediately started to charm his way out of having to take a bath.

"I don't need a bath, Lizbef. I took one yesterday and I hardly did anything today. I'll take one tomorrow, because I'm sure that me and Satchmo will play a lot."

"Baths are taken every day in this house, Neal," Elizabeth answered with a smile.

"Every day?! That's crazy, Lizbef. We shouldn't be using that much water. What if there's a…a…um…"

"A drought? It's good of you to worry about the well-being of our city, sweetie, but I don't think a daily bath will cause that much trouble. Nice try, though. Now, I've already ran your bath water, so hop to it, okay? Do you need help?"

Neal looked affronted at her words. "Lizbef, I'm five. I've been taking baths by myself forever."

She couldn't help but laugh at his words. "Okay, then, get going, Neal. It's almost your bedtime."

Neal didn't look very happy to hear those words, either, but he went into the bathroom, took off his clothes and climbed in the tub. Elizabeth had made sure to throw a couple of boats into the tub and she could hear Neal playing happily with them. After about fifteen minutes, she entered the bathroom, not surprised to find that there was almost more water on the floor than what was in the bathtub.

"Lizbef! Can't a guy take a bath in peace?" Neal looked adorable with bubbles clinging to his little body. Elizabeth turned on the faucet and adjusted the temperature until it was perfect.

"I'm just going to help you wash your hair, okay? I want to make sure it gets really, really clean."

Neal didn't argue with her. Instead, he continued to play with his boats, running them up Elizabeth's arms as she tried to rinse his hair. Eventually, she was done, and after letting him play for a few more minutes, she helped him out of the bath, wrapping him up in a towel fresh from the towel warmer.

Once he was dried off enough, he insisted that she turn around so that he could get dressed. Minutes later, she turned around to find that he had dressed himself, even though the buttons on his little flannel pajamas were buttoned wrong. After taking a few seconds to fix the buttons for him, she pulled up the step stool Peter had bought, and placed it in front of the sink.

"Okay, Neal….let's get those teeth brushed."

Neal looked like he was going to argue, but thought better of it. He took the toothbrush from her, excited to see that it looked like a paintbrush, and started brushing his teeth. Once he was done, Elizabeth inspected his teeth and told him that he had done a great job. Neal's face lit up at her words.

Entering into his bedroom, they found Peter sitting in a chair next to the bed. Neal ran and jumped up on the bed, nearly bouncing himself off the other end.

"Whoa, there, buddy! Be careful, okay?" Peter admonished.

"Sorry, Peter," Neal said with a guilty grin. "I didn't know the bed was so bouncy."

Peter bent down and ruffled Neal's hair, as Elizabeth pulled the blankets up around him. "Okay, little man…..I'm going to read you one story and then it's lights out. No flashlights under the blanket, either, okay?"

Neal giggled at that, before turning over onto his side, prepared to listen to his story. He couldn't keep from smiling when Peter started reading.

"Once upon a time, there was a monkey named Jim, who loved to climb trees."

* * *

Author's note: I probably should have posted a warning that this chapter was full of fluff. I hope I didn't overdose you all on the sweetness of the new little family. If I did, I apologize, and I can assure you that it isn't all fluff and sweetness. In fact, our new family is definitely heading into some rough seas.

Thank you all so much for the reviews, story alerts and story favorites. I've said it before and I'll say it again…..You all rock! Let me know what you think of this chapter, please.


	6. No One Said Parenthood Was Easy

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 6

* * *

Peter and Elizabeth were absolutely exhausted. After tucking Neal into bed and making sure he had fallen asleep, they both fell into bed and were asleep within minutes. Unfortunately, they woke up a short time later to the sounds of Neal in the throes of a nightmare. Jumping out of bed, they raced into his room to find him thrashing in his bed, his legs tangled in the bedsheets.

Both Peter and Elizabeth were horrified to hear the sounds coming from Neal. His cries were almost too much for them to bear. Rushing to his side, Elizabeth softly called out his name, as she worked to untangle his legs from the sheet. It took several long seconds before she was able to break through to Neal, his eyes finally flying open and looking around in panic.

"Neal, honey, you're okay. You were just having a bad dream, sweetie. You're okay, now."

"Lizbef?"

"Yes, sweetie, Peter and I are right here." She pulled Neal into her lap and looked at Peter. "Hon, can you go get a glass of water and a cool washcloth? Neal, why don't we get you into some dry pajamas. You worked up a little sweat with that dream."

Elizabeth pulled the flannel top off of Neal, opting to put a t-shirt on him instead. When Peter returned, she took the washcloth and gently washed Neal's face. The poor boy could barely keep his head up, but the second his eyes closed, he jerked them back open, as if he was afraid to go back to sleep.

"Do you want to tell us about the dream you had, buddy?" Peter asked, gently. He gave Neal what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

"I don't remember, Peter. My mind is all blank."

"Well, then, why don't we get you tucked back into bed. I think we could all use some more sleep."

Neal suddenly sat up straight, a look of dread in his eyes. "I'm not sleepy, Lizbef. Can I just go downstairs and watch cartoons? I'll be good, I promise."

"Neal, it's only one o'clock in the morning. You need to sleep." Neal looked as if he were about to cry, but Elizabeth continued. "How about if you lay back down and let Peter read you another story? Will that help?"

Neal agreed to that, but he insisted that Peter climb into the bed with him. Once Peter was settled, Neal snuggled up next to his side and grabbed onto his t-shirt with one hand. His other hand reached up and started twirling one of his own curls. "Okay, Peter….I'm ready."

Elizabeth watched from the door as her exhausted husband did his best to read Neal's story without falling asleep. She loved the way Neal looked up at him, hanging on every word Peter said, as he twisted his hair, rhythmically. Within minutes, Neal's eyes had closed and his breathing deepened. Peter quietly put down the book and attempted to climb out of bed, but at the first sign of movement, Neal started to stir. Looking at his wife, he motioned for her to go on back to bed, as he resigned himself to staying in Neal's bed a little longer. He knew his back and knees would pay the price of having to curl his six foot frame into a child size bed, but it was worth it.

* * *

By mid-afternoon, Peter had a new appreciation for what it meant to be bone-tired. Luckily, it was Saturday, and he and Elizabeth had planned on having a carefree, unplanned day to get to know Neal a little better. What Peter learned was that Neal had an endless supply of energy. To say that he had boundless energy was, more than likely, the understatement of the century.

From the moment Neal woke up until the moment he fell asleep, he was constant motion and activity. The only time he stayed even remotely still and quiet was when he was drawing, and needless to say, Peter encouraged that activity as often as he could.

Peter and Elizabeth quickly learned that Neal was incredibly talented for his age. The artwork he produced was way above that of children twice his age and the Burkes agreed that they would have to enroll him in an art class as soon as possible.

Neal was so excited when Elizabeth took one of his drawings and placed it on the refrigerator door, just like his mother used to do. By the end of their first weekend together, the refrigerator door was filled with his drawings and he showed no signs of stopping.

For the most part, Neal was a fairly well-behaved child, a fact that the Burkes were thankful for. In their zest to bring Neal home with them, they neglected to talk about how they would deal with any discipline issues that came up. Elizabeth had grown up as an only child and her parents were very passive in their discipline. The truth of the matter was that she rarely did anything that required her to be punished in any way, so the extent of any punishment was usually just a lecture, followed by her being sent to her room.

Peter, on the other hand, grew up in a family of three boys who were all definitely a handful. Elizabeth cringed at some of the stories Peter had told her about his childhood, wondering how his mother had stayed sane. His parents were very gentle people, too, but Elizabeth knew that Peter's dad, the disciplinarian of the family, knew just how to get his sons' attention when needed. Peter admitted that his father's hands-on approach proved to be a great deterrent at times, but not always.

Any correction Neal had needed so far was done with a few firm words and the child reacted positively to gentle reprimands, for the most part. The biggest problem they had encountered was the fact that Neal was very impetuous and sometimes a little devious. He had learned fairly quickly to play Peter and Elizabeth against each other to get what he wanted and he had figured out whom to ask first for whatever it was that he wanted.

The first bit of trouble he got into was when Elizabeth found him in the kitchen, stuffing a plate full of cookies into his mouth. He looked up at her guiltily when she walked through the door.

"Neal, what are you doing? I thought I told you that you couldn't have cookies until after dinner."

"You did, Lizbef. But, Peter said I could have some." Neal looked up at her, seemingly proud of himself for having an excuse. "You can ask him, Lizbef. He's watching the game."

Elizabeth suddenly had a clear understanding of exactly what happened. Peter was so engrossed in his baseball game that when Neal asked him if he could have a cookie, he probably told him yes without really thinking. That, of course, was all that Neal needed to eat his cookies without feeling too guilty.

"Neal," Elizabeth scolded. "If I tell you no about something, it means no. It doesn't mean that you can ask Peter, hoping that he'll say differently. No means no, sweetie. Do you understand?"

"I was hungry, Lizbef. I just wanted a cookie."

"Well, it looks like you had several cookies. Now, I think that maybe it's time to tell Peter what happened."

Neal looked decidedly unhappy at her words. "I won't do it again, Lizbef. I promise."

She almost caved at the sight of his big blue eyes and trembling lower lip, but didn't. "I hope you won't do it again, sweetie, but we're still going to tell Peter."

With that, she helped Neal down from the stool and held the door open for him. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of Neal trudging into the living room, his head hanging and feet dragging. Once in the living room, he stopped a few feet away from Peter, who looked up from the television.

"Hey, buddy, what's up?" Peter didn't realize right away that something was wrong, but he eventually picked up on Neal's nervousness. Looking up at Elizabeth, he asked, "Did something happen?"

"Neal has something to tell you, Peter." Looking down at Neal, she encouraged him to go on.

"I ate the cookies, Peter," he answered, quietly, staring down at his shoes.

Peter looked confused, not understanding what had happened. "I know, bud. I told you that you could have some, remember? So, what's the problem?"

"LIzbef told me I couldn't have any. But, I really wanted a cookie, Peter, so I asked you."

"Ah, I see. You didn't like the answer Elizabeth gave you, so you came to me, hoping for a better answer, right?"

Neal gave a small nod, but didn't answer.

"Neal, buddy, that wasn't a very nice thing to do. You manipulated me and disrespected Elizabeth by going behind her back like you did. Do you understand why what you did was wrong?"

"I understand, Peter. I didn't mean to disrespect LIzbef and I'm sorry I manilupated you."

"Okay, Neal. I'm glad you understand."

Before Peter could continue, Neal interrupted. "Are you going to take me back to Mrs. Smithson's house?"

"Of course not, sweetie," Elizabeth answered. "Why would we do that? You just made a mistake."

"Listen up, little man…..what do say, as punishment for your deceitfulness, you skip dessert tonight and we call it even?"

Neal looked particularly miserable at realizing that he wouldn't be getting dessert, but he knew better than to argue. "Okay, Peter," he said, sadly. Turning to Elizabeth, he looked up at her with his most charming grin. "Lizbef? Since I don't get dessert tonight can I have pancakes for breakfast? With chocolate chips and lots and lots of syrup?"

* * *

Peter and Elizabeth both arranged to take a full week off, feeling like they all needed that time to adjust to the changes in their lives. After that first week, Elizabeth planned on doing as much work as she could in the morning while Neal was in the daycare group she had found. When school started up again in a few weeks, Neal would be starting kindergarten. He wasn't very happy to hear that he would be going to daycare or to school.

"Why can't I just go to work with you?" He asked Elizabeth. "I'll be good and I'll help you, Lizbef."

"Sweetie, you'd be completely bored if you had to hang out at the office all day. Wouldn't you rather spend the morning with kids your own age? I'm sure they play all kinds of games and do all kinds of fun stuff."

"I wouldn't be bored, honest. And I don't like other kids. They're weird."

Elizabeth couldn't keep from smiling at Neal. "I'm sorry, Neal, but you have to go to daycare. It's only for a few hours in the morning, and then I'll pick you up and we can spend the rest of the day together, okay?"

"Okay, Lizbef, but don't blame me if I get weird like the other kids. It might rub off on me, you know?"

* * *

That weekend the three of them went shopping. Peter nearly begged to stay home and watch the game, but Elizabeth insisted that he come along. They spent nearly three hours in the mall, a fact that made Peter very unhappy. It seemed that Neal was a little picky about the clothes he wore, not wanting anything that a typical five year old would wear. No cartoon characters, no cute little sayings, no camouflage. Instead, he wanted to wear clothes like Peter wore. Elizabeth broke down and bought him a pair of black pants, several button up shirts and several ties, as well as a few pair of jeans and khakis, some pullover shirts and even a few plain t-shirts.

They spent nearly forty-five minutes picking out shoes. Peter thought the Spiderman shoes were perfect, but Neal didn't like them. Instead, he wanted dress shoes like the ones that Peter wore to work. They finally compromised on a pair of dress shoes and a pair of plain tennis shoes.

The next battle came when they were picking out underwear. Most of the underwear in his size had superheroes or Disney characters and Neal absolutely refused to wear them. They went to four different stores before they found boxer briefs that would fit the small child.

By this time, both Neal and Peter were extremely cranky, so Elizabeth decided it was time for a break. After finding the food court, Elizabeth left Peter and Neal to find a bathroom. Peter was standing in line with Neal standing right beside him, but when he took a call from the office, he didn't notice Neal walking away. After hanging up his phone, he looked down and was horrified to see that Neal was gone.

Looking frantically around him, he didn't see the boy anywhere. Stepping out of line, he started calling out for Neal, the panic evident in his voice. The panic grew exponentially with each passing second, until Peter literally felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

Just as he was about to call 911 and report a missing child, Neal walked out of a candy store that was a few stores away. Running to the child, he grabbed him up and clutched him to his chest. "Neal! Don't ever do that, again! Do you hear me? Never, ever walk off like that!"

Neal looked wide-eyed at Peter, wondering if the man was going crazy. "I was just over there, Peter. I wasn't going to get lost."

Before Peter could say anything, Elizabeth showed up, wondering what was going on to make Peter look like he was having a heart attack. "What happened?" she asked.

"Neal wandered off, El. I looked down and he was gone!"

Elizabeth felt horrible for her husband, who was obviously shaken by the event. She wanted to remind him that you should never take your eyes off of a small child in a crowded place, but knew that it wasn't the right time for that. Instead, she turned to Neal, who by this time was back on his own two feet, still wondering what the big deal was.

"Neal, don't ever wander off like that, okay? You scared Peter to death when he couldn't find you."

"I'm sorry, Peter," Neal answered, sincerely. "I just wanted to look at the candy, that's all. Next time, I'll tell you before I go."

Peter looked angrily at Neal. "No, Neal. The next time you won't walk away from me or El. That is NOT acceptable. Do you understand?"

"Okay, Peter. I won't leave you alone, again."

After Peter calmed down a bit, they ate a quick lunch and then called it quits for the day. Elizabeth knew that Peter had had enough for the day. She knew that he was completely freaked out by losing Neal, even though it was just for a few minutes.

Once home, Elizabeth set Neal up on the patio with his easel and some watercolor paints, before heading back into the house where Peter was sitting in front of the television with a beer in hand.

"Hon, how are you feeling?"

Peter looked up at his wife with a strange look on his face. "I don't know if I can do this, El. I completely freaked out when I found him missing. All the training I've had, all the on–the-job experience, and I panicked. I'm not cut out to be a dad."

"Oh, Peter….you're doing a great job with Neal. You made a mistake by taking your eyes off of him, but he made a mistake, too. And you didn't panic, hon. You called out for him and you searched for him, just like you should have. We just need to make sure that Neal really understands that he can't ever do that again."

Peter really didn't look convinced, but it helped when Elizabeth curled up next to him on the couch. "We knew this wasn't going to be easy, hon, but aren't you loving it?"

"Yeah, El….I _am_ loving it." Just as Peter finished his statement, they both heard a cry from the backyard.

"No, Satchmo! Get down, boy!"

Elizabeth and Peter ran out to the backyard to find Neal sitting on the ground, drenched in the water he was using to rinse his brushes. He had an exceptionally grumpy look on his face, as he glared at Satchmo, who was looking rather pleased with himself.

"Yep, I'm loving every minute of it, El," Peter said with a laugh.

* * *

Author's note: Awww...poor Peter is feeling a little inadequate. I personally think he's doing a fine job, for someone who hasn't had much experience with kids. What do you all think of Peter's parenting ability? And what do you think of little Neal so far? Thanks for reading. You are all much appreciated.


	7. The Great Cookie Caper

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 7

* * *

The day that Neal started at his daycare group was not a good day for Peter, Elizabeth or Neal. From the moment he woke up, Neal was nearly impossible to deal with, making it perfectly clear that he didn't like the idea of spending the morning with a bunch of other kids. He insisted on wearing a button-up shirt and tie, despite Elizabeth trying to talk him into something more casual. He didn't want to eat breakfast, even though Elizabeth had made his favorite chocolate chip pancakes. He refused to go upstairs and brush his teeth, until Peter picked him up and carried him upstairs, plopping him down in front of the sink and putting the toothbrush in his hand. He dragged his feet all the way out to the car, causing Peter and Elizabeth both to look at their watches in frustration.

Finally, Peter stooped down and picked Neal up, carrying him to the car and putting him in the booster seat. "Neal, that's enough! We know that you're not excited about going to daycare, but it's happening whether you like it or not. It's only for a few hours, kid, and if you give it a chance, you might like it."

"I'm not gonna like it, Peter," Neal pouted. "I already know that."

Elizabeth turned and looked at Neal. "Sweetie, give it a chance, okay? And when I pick you up, you can tell me everything about it."

Neal said very little for the rest of the ride, choosing to just stare out the window with what Elizabeth thought was an adorable pout. Peter, on the other hand, didn't find it adorable, at all. He was tired of having to fight with Neal over every little thing, a fact made even worse when Neal refused to get out of the car when they arrived, forcing Peter to take him out and carry him into the building. Once they were inside, Peter put Neal down, but held on to his hand. Elizabeth grabbed Neal's other hand, squeezing it to reassure him, as they walked through another door.

Entering into a room that was full of kids and parents, Neal sidled closer to Peter and Elizabeth, as he looked nervously around. Elizabeth led them over to the woman that seemed to be greeting everyone. After talking with a few other parents, she finally turned to the three of them, smiling down at Neal.

"Hi, you must be Neal. I'm Miss Summer. We're so glad to have you here."

Neal looked up at her, smiling shyly. "Hi, Miss Summer."

After a little bit of small talk among Peter, Elizabeth and Miss Summer, Peter and Elizabeth finally decided it was time to leave. Neal was still clutching onto their hands, though, as he watched the controlled chaos around him. Finally, the children all seemed to settle in and a hush settled over the room, as they all turned their attention to one of Miss Summer's assistants.

"Neal, Peter and I need to get to work, okay? I'll be back to pick you up at lunchtime. Be good for Miss Summer, sweetie."

Neal suddenly turned tear filled eyes up to Elizabeth. "Lizbef, I want to go with you. I don't want to stay here."

Peter knelt down and pulled Neal closer to him. "Listen, bud…..you're going to stay here and Elizabeth is going to pick you up at lunchtime. Cowboy up, remember?"

Peter couldn't keep from smiling when Neal suddenly stood up taller and straightened his already straight tie. "Okay, Peter…I'll cowboy up." He threw one last sad look at Elizabeth before turning and following Miss Summer over to a table.

Peter and Elizabeth both left with rather large lumps in their throats.

* * *

When it was finally time to pick Neal up, Elizabeth hastily left her office and drove the short distance to the daycare with butterflies in her stomach. She was anxious to know how Neal's morning had gone. Peering through the glass door, she looked over the mass of kids sitting on a large rug, trying to pick Neal out of the group. She felt a slight stirring of fear when she couldn't find him, but seconds later her eyes landed on his small form sitting in a chair in a nearby corner.

As she waited the last few minutes for the session to be over, she wondered what in the world Neal had done to get in trouble on his very first day. Finally, the door opened and the parents were allowed to retrieve their children. Elizabeth wasn't surprised when Neal came running to her as soon as he saw her. She _was_ surprised, though, by the huge grin on his little face.

"Lizbef, you'll never guess what happened today! Miss Summer told me that I was the best drawer she's ever seen. She hung my picture up above her desk. And I won a prize, Lizbef, because I wrote out all my letters the best and the fastest. She gave me a book, too, because I told her I like books. Can Peter read it to me tonight, LIzbef?"

Elizabeth smiled down at Neal, happy to see that he had obviously had a good day. "Wow, Neal….sounds like you had a good day. But, can you tell me why you were sitting in the corner right before class was out?"

Neal's smile quickly left when he realized that Elizabeth knew he had to sit in the corner. He obviously was hoping that she didn't have to know that. "I got in trouble, Lizbef, but I told everyone I was sorry."

Before Elizabeth could ask him what he meant, Miss Summer walked over to where they were standing.

"Mrs. Burke, Neal had a great first day and I'm sure he has lots to tell you. We only had one little problem toward the end of the morning. Neal, would you like to tell Elizabeth what happened?" Miss Summer gave Neal an encouraging look, but Neal quickly shook his head no.

"Okay, I can tell her, Neal," Miss Summer said. "There was an incident during snack time that caused a little bit of an uproar among the children, Mrs. Burke. It seems that Neal tricked several of the other children into giving him their cookies by telling them that he had a rare disease that required him to eat ten cookies every morning or else he would turn into a monster. He even started making strange faces and noises to make them think that his transformation was beginning. One of the little girls at his table started crying, which got the attention of one of the parent helpers. By the time she figured out what was going on, several other children were crying as well. Neal apologized to everyone at his table and gave their cookies back to them. He also spent his free time sitting in our time-out chair."

Elizabeth couldn't believe the story she had heard. Part of her wanted to laugh at what Neal had done, but the more parental part knew that she couldn't. Neal desperately needed to learn that manipulating people for his own gain was wrong. She had to admit, though, that the boy definitely had an imagination and apparently, he really liked cookies.

* * *

Once they were in the car, Elizabeth turned to Neal. "Neal, do you remember what Peter said when you asked him if you could have a cookie after I had already told you no? Remember how we talked about the fact that you manipulated him to get what you wanted? Well, sweetie, that's exactly what you did today to the other kids at your table. You manipulated and scared them into giving you their cookies. Do you understand why that was wrong, Neal? "

"I didn't mean to make them cry, Lizbef, and I told them I was sorry. I was just using my magination like Miss Summer told us to. She said that using your magination was good for your brain and that it helped you to get smarter. I just thought that I could help my brain and my stomach at the same time by using my magination to get more cookies."

Elizabeth couldn't keep from smiling at that, but wanted to make sure that Neal understood why it was wrong to do what he did. "Using your imagination is good, sweetie, but not when it hurts someone else. You have to be careful. What you did was selfish, Neal. Don't you think that maybe your friends like cookies as much as you? How would you feel if someone manipulated you into giving up your cookie? That wouldn't be nice, would it?"

"I would never give up my cookie, Lizbef, no matter how good someone's magination was. I'm too smart for that, probably because I use my magination all the time. But, I won't do that again, I promise. I didn't like to see them cry. It made me sad."

After talking a few more minutes about the events of the morning, Elizabeth finally started the car. She felt reasonably sure that Neal would need to be reminded again that manipulation wasn't acceptable, but she also was reasonably sure that, overall, Neal didn't mean to hurt anyone. He really was a sweet child with a big heart.

As she pulled out of the parking lot, Neal spoke quietly from the back seat. "Lizbef? You're not going to make me tell Peter that I got in trouble, are you?"

"No, Neal, you've already been punished, so it's all done, okay? Now, where do you want to eat?"

* * *

Once Neal had told Peter all about his day, obviously leaving out the Great Cookie Caper, as Elizabeth called it in her head, they all took a walk to the park. Satchmo and Neal ran around the park, as Peter and Elizabeth watched from the park bench, amazed by the amount of energy held within the body of someone so small. Eventually, the boy and the dog stopped running, taking a few minutes to catch their breaths before starting up again. Neal didn't want to leave the park when Elizabeth said it was time to go home, but after a stern look from Peter, he stopped arguing. Elizabeth had to admit that she was impressed with how Peter dealt with Neal.

After dinner was over, Neal started to put up a bit of resistance at having to take a bath, but Elizabeth reminded him that he had some new toys to play with. Sending Peter up with Neal to take care of the bathing, Elizabeth quickly cleaned up the kitchen, before finally falling into her favorite armchair with a glass of wine. Taking care of a five year old was exhausting, but she had never been happier.

* * *

Peter was amazed at how much water Neal managed to spill out of the bathtub with every bath. He was also amazed at how much dirt came off of the kid with each bath. He let Neal play for almost twenty minutes, before insisting that he get washed up.

"Neal, you're fingers are turning into prunes. It's time to get cleaned up."

Neal inspected his fingers closely, before holding them up for the man to see. "No, they're not, Peter. They're still fingers, see?"

Peter laughed at that, causing Neal to give him a funny look. "It's just a saying, kid. It means your fingers are getting wrinkled."

Neal laughed at that. "You were using your magination, weren't you, Peter? Do you feel smarter?"

Peter had no idea what Neal was talking about.

* * *

In what had quickly turned into their nightly routine, Peter and Elizabeth tucked Neal into bed, and then Peter read him a story. That night's story was the book that Miss Summer had given to Neal, a book all about imagination. Neal loved the story so much that he wanted to write Miss Summer a thank you letter. Elizabeth told him that she would help him write the letter in the morning, but that it was time for him to go to sleep. Neal's denial of being tired was interrupted by a huge yawn and minutes later he was sound asleep. After watching him sleep for several long minutes, the two very tired adults finally retired to their own bedroom.

As had happened almost every night so far, Peter and Elizabeth were awakened by the sounds of Neal having a nightmare. They still had no idea what the dreams were about and they were growing more and more concerned with each passing night.

Peter told Elizabeth to stay in the bed, even though he knew that she would follow him anyway. They would definitely have to start taking turns, ensuring that at least one of them got enough sleep occasionally. Stepping into Neal's room, they found Neal sitting up in his bed, crying out for his mother. Elizabeth's heart hurt at the sound of complete anguish coming from the small boy. She immediately went to Neal and gathered him up into her arms, as she called out softly for him to wake up.

Neal always looked particularly confused when he first woke up from a nightmare. He would look around the room, trying to figure out where he was, before his eyes would finally land on Peter or Elizabeth. After several minutes, he would completely wake up and cling to whoever happened to be holding him, as he tried to calm himself down. No matter how often this happened, it never seemed to get easier for any of them.

For some reason, whatever nightmare Neal had just experienced seemed to be one of the worst yet. He cried in Elizabeth's arms for what seemed like hours to her, until finally he was able to stop. Looking up at her with his big blue eyes, Neal asked her a question that nearly broke her heart. "Lizbef? Why did my mommy leave me? Was she mad at me?"

Elizabeth looked at Peter, before turning back to Neal. "Oh, sweetie…..no! Your mommy loved you very, very much and she didn't want to leave you. She was sick, Neal, and she had to go, even though she wanted to stay with you more than anything. She was so proud of you."

During the process of vetting William and Jenna Miller, Peter and Elizabeth had learned that Neal's mother had died of leukemia when he was only four years old. Elizabeth didn't know for sure that any of what she told Neal was true, but she felt in her heart that it was, for no other reason than the fact that she really couldn't fathom how any mother wouldn't love a child like Neal.

Neal continued to stare into Elizabeth's eyes, searching intently for the answer he wanted. "Are you going to leave me, Lizbef? Like my mommy and Jenna did?"

Elizabeth clutched him tightly to her, unknowingly making it hard for him to breathe. "Not if I have any control over it, sweetie. I'll never willingly leave you, and Peter and I will do whatever we have to do to always be here for you, okay?"

Neal didn't answer her, but she felt his head nod yes. After a few seconds, however, he spoke. "Lizbef? I can't breathe. You're holding all my breath in."

Elizabeth loosened her grip on the boy and placed a kiss on the top of his head. "Is that better, sweetie? Can you breathe now?"

Neal took in a deep breath, then dramatically let it back out. "That was a close one, Lizbef. I almost saw my wife pass before my eyes."

Peter and Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh at the way Neal repeatedly messed up common sayings, finding it extremely adorable.

"We certainly wouldn't want that to happen, would we, El?" Peter said with a smile.

* * *

Author's note: Another fluffy chapter, but don't worry…..I don't think it's going to last. I think we're all in for a bumpy ride, so fasten your seatbelts, boys and girls.

How did you all like the chapter? What did you think of the thwarted Great Cookie Caper? Neal has quite the imagination, doesn't he? And he really does love his cookies!

Thanks for reading, everyone. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	8. Neal's No-Good Day

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 8

* * *

The next few weeks went by quickly for the Burkes. Neal continued to do well in his daycare group and was sad to have to leave it when it was time for him to finally start Kindergarten. On his last day, he wore his favorite shirt and tie, wanting to look nice for Miss Summer. Elizabeth made him cookies to share with everyone and he wrote Miss Summer a poem and drew her a picture.

At the end of class, Neal walked up to Miss Summer and handed her the card he had made for her. "Miss Summer? I made this for you cuz I'm glad you helped me. And, whenever you miss me, you can look at it and remember me."

"Thank you, Neal," Miss Summer said. She smiled down at him, realizing how much she was going to miss the charming little boy. Opening up the card, she was happy to see Neal's even writing and beautiful drawing. He really was quite talented for a five year old.

"I wrote that poem just for you, Miss Summer. Do you like it?"

Miss Summer smiled as she read the poem:

**Roses are red**

**Violets are blue**

**I want you to know**

**I'm gonna miss you**

**Roses are red**

**And sometimes pink**

**You're gonna miss me**

**A lot, I think**

"I love it, Neal. Did you write it all by yourself?"

"Lizbef helped me, Miss Summer. I told her what to write and then I copied it. I drew the picture all by myself, though. Lizbef can't really draw that good. Her flowers look like doughnuts on a stick. Don't tell her I said that, okay? I don't want to make her cry."

"Of course not, Neal. I wouldn't want to make her cry, either. And you know what? You're right, Neal. I am going to miss you a lot."

* * *

The first day of kindergarten was almost a complete instant replay of the first day of daycare. Neal wanted to wear a shirt and tie again, of course. He wouldn't eat breakfast, even though they all could hear his stomach growling like a lion. Before he could refuse anything else, though, Peter laid down the law.

"Neal, I'm telling you again to cowboy up, okay? Remember how you felt on your first day of daycare? But, you ended up loving it there, didn't you? Kindergarten's going to be the same way, bud. You're going to make new friends and you're going to learn new things. Think of it as a new adventure."

Neal liked adventures, so he decided to give it a chance. It couldn't be that bad, right?

* * *

The kindergarten class was much bigger than Neal's daycare group, and Neal wasn't happy to see that he was one of the smallest in the class. In fact, he _was_ the smallest boy. Neal wasn't happy to find out that his teacher was a man, either. Thanks to events in his young life, Neal had an almost immediate distrust of men. Peter was definitely the exception to that, for some reason.

Peter and Elizabeth walked Neal around the room, looking for his name on all the desks. Once they found it, they helped him to unload his backpack. After that task was done, Elizabeth showed him where his cubby and coat hook was, explaining to him that he could put his coat on the hook and his backpack in the cubby. Once that was all settled, they said a quick goodbye and left Neal in his classroom.

It wasn't any easier the second time.

* * *

Neal nervously looked around the classroom once Peter and Elizabeth left. Most of the kids seemed to know each other, so Neal felt like an outsider right away. Sitting down at his desk, he waited for his teacher to start talking. Minutes later, the bell rang, and the kids all made their way to their desks. Neal's desk was right in the middle of the classroom and he watched as a girl sat in front of him and two boys sat in the desks next to him.

His teacher, Mr. Parker, introduced himself to the class and told them that he wanted them to stand up, introduce themselves, and tell the class something exciting that had happened over the summer. Neal listened as kids told stories of family vacations and summer camps and trips to the lake. He searched his mind for something good that had happened to him, but all that he could come up with was how he had come to live with Peter and Elizabeth.

He didn't want to tell the class about his mom dying or how Jenna had left him with William. He didn't want to explain to them about how he had spent weeks in foster care, either. He had absolutely no idea what he was going to say until the second Mr. Parker called his name.

Standing up, Neal nervously played with his tie. Some of the kids snickered at the obviously over-dressed boy, but Neal ignored them. "My name is Neal Caffrey and I'm five."

"Hi, Neal," Mr. Parker said. "Can you tell us something exciting about your summer?"

Neal looked nervously around him before finally answering. "A man took me and made me stay with him for hours and hours. He had a gun and he pointed it at me. The FBI and the police came to save me."

Everyone in the classroom stared at Neal, some of them looking scared at his story. Mr. Parker looked angry.

"Neal, that's enough. We don't tell lies in this classroom, is that clear? "

"I'm not lying, Mr. Parker," Neal insisted. "The man held a gun to my head, and I bit his arm. He let go of me and I ran and Peter kicked the gun out of his hand. The police came in and took him away."

"Neal! I said that's enough." Mr. Parker said, firmly. "Take your seat."

Neal sat back down, confusion evident on his face. Everyone in the classroom was looking at him strangely, and Neal was suddenly embarrassed.

The next hour went by quickly, with Mr. Parker explaining the rules of the classroom to everyone. Neal was glad when it was finally time for recess. He had started to fidget restlessly in his seat and Mr. Parker had called him on it several times already. Once he was out on the playground, Neal found himself surrounded by his classmates.

The little girl that had been sitting in front of him approached him first. "Did that really happen? Did a man really point a gun at you?"

"Yeah," Neal said. "It was a big gun, too. The kind that the police use."

"Did you really bite him?" another girl asked.

"I sure did," Neal answered with a smile. "I was tired of being there. He wouldn't even let me have a drink and the police were taking too long, so I bit him on the arm."

Before Neal could continue, Mr. Parker suddenly appeared. "Neal, what did I say about telling lies?" Mr. Parker sent the other students away and then led Neal over to a bench. "I think you need to sit here and think about the importance of telling the truth and of obeying the rules, Neal, okay?"

Neal felt tears burning his eyes as he nodded his head. Why did the man think he was lying?

* * *

By lunch time, Neal had decided that he really didn't like Mr. Parker. It seemed that Neal couldn't do anything right in the man's eyes and Neal's frustration was just about to boil over. As his frustration grew, Neal became more and more restless and jittery, causing his teacher to get more and more frustrated himself. Eventually, after telling Neal to settle down for the third time, he sent Neal to stand in the corner. Neal's face and neck were red with embarrassment, as the class laughed at his predicament.

When the lunch bell finally rang, Mr. Parker excused the class, but not before telling Neal to stay behind. Reluctantly, Neal stayed, only to hear that he was to sit on the time-out bench for all of lunch recess, as well. He really wished that this day would be over.

When lunch and recess were over, Neal went back to the classroom, determined to not do anything that would make Mr. Parker mad at him. He sat quietly at his desk, did the work that was handed out, and tried his best to not act on his restlessness. Things were going pretty well until Mr. Parker stepped out of the classroom to talk with another teacher.

The class was supposed to be copying the first ten letters of the alphabet, something that Neal was able to do quickly. Once he was done, he sat quietly, his mind drifting to the cookies that Elizabeth had baked last night. He was looking forward to eating a few of them when he got home.

As he was thinking about how good his snack was going to be, one of the boys threw an eraser at him, hitting him on the side of his head. Neal turned around and glared at the boy. "Why did you do that?" he asked.

"Why did you lie about that whole gun thing?" the boy asked.

"I didn't lie," Neal said.

"Mr. Parker said you lied about it!"

"Mr. Parker wasn't there," Neal answered, loudly. "He doesn't know anything."

"Yes, he does. You're just making that up, because you think it makes you sound cool. You're just a baby and if something like that happened, you'd probably cry and pee your pants."

"Shut up!" Neal yelled, as he threw the eraser back at the boy, hitting him squarely between the eyes. The boy immediately started crying.

By this time, everyone in the classroom was looking at him, and Mr. Parker chose that very moment to walk back in.

"Neal! That's enough. We don't use those words in this classroom and we don't throw things." After making sure that the other boy was okay, he turned and pointed at Neal. "Come with me!"

Neal stood up, uncertainly, aware that everyone was still watching him. Mr. Parker led him out of the classroom and minutes later deposited him in front of the Principal's office. Neal felt like crying from all the frustration built up inside of him.

* * *

Peter was sitting at his desk, looking through some cold case files, when his phone rang. Upon answering it, he was surprised to find that it was Neal's school. Sitting up straighter at his desk, he listened as Neal's teacher informed him of the events of the morning. Neal wasn't having a good day.

Peter grabbed his suit jacket and walked out of his office. Finding Diana, he told her that he would be gone for a while, and that he could be reached on his cell phone, if he was needed. He made a call to Elizabeth on his way down to the garage, but she didn't answer. She must be in a meeting with clients, he thought.

Leaving her a brief message, he made his way to Neal's school, wondering what in the world the boy could have gotten himself into.

* * *

When he arrived at the school, Peter went directly to the Principal's office. When he entered the main office, he saw Neal sitting in a chair looking exceedingly nervous and forlorn. Peter smiled at the way Neal's lower lip pouted and at the way he was nervously twisting a curl of hair. His legs were bouncing frantically, too.

"Hey, buddy, are you okay?"

Neal was startled when he heard Peter's voice and instantly jumped up, throwing himself into Peter's leg. "Peter!"

"Sounds like you're having a not so good day, Neal?" Peter pushed Neal gently away from him, so he could see his face.

"I hate it here, Peter. I want to go home and never come back, okay?"

Just as Peter was about to answer him, the Principal's door opened to reveal a very serious older woman. "Mr. Burke? I'm Mrs. Corbin. Why don't you and Neal come in and have a seat?"

Peter grabbed Neal's hand and walked into the office. He led Neal to one of the seats, before sitting down in the other one, only to have Neal climbed into his lap. He started to tell Neal to get back into the other chair, but he stopped himself when he felt the tremors shooting through his small body. Instead, he pulled the boy in closer to him.

"Mr. Burke, I'm sorry you had to come in today, as I know you're a busy man. We tried to handle things ourselves, but after this last event, I felt it was necessary to call you."

"I appreciate you calling me, Mrs. Corbin. Now, if you could just tell me what happened…."

"Of course." Mrs. Corbin glanced at Neal, before continuing. "It seems that Neal had a rough start to his day. His teacher, Mr. Parker, started the day off by having each child introduce him or herself and telling the class something interesting about their summer. Most of the children talked about trips they had taken with their families or camps they had gone to. When it was Neal's turn, he told the class a story about how he was held hostage by a man with a gun. Mr. Parker, of course, didn't want his class to get scared, so he interrupted Neal and explained to him that it was wrong to lie to the class."

Peter listened as the woman went on to explain the rest of what happened. When she was finally done, he answered in as calm of a voice as he could muster. "Neal wasn't lying about the man holding him hostage, Mrs. Corbin, and I think that if Mr. Parker had taken the time to listen or had pulled Neal aside and explained to him why it wasn't appropriate to tell the class about it, all of this could have been avoided."

Mrs. Corbin looked surprised to hear that the events had actually happened. Before she could say anything, Peter continued. "That doesn't excuse the fact that Neal threw an eraser at someone or that he told the kid to shut up, but I think that all could have been prevented if things had been handled differently. I'll make sure to talk to Neal about his part in all of this."

"Mr. Burke, I'm sorry. Perhaps if we knew what Neal had been through…."

"I think it's more important that Mr. Parker learns to listen to his students, don't you? If he had taken the time to talk to Neal, he might have been able to control the situation a little better."

After talking over a few more things, Peter decided to just take Neal with him. There was only an hour left in the school day, anyway. He could feel the relief shoot through Neal's little body at knowing he didn't have to go back to class.

Peter helped Neal get settled in his booster seat, giving the boy a reassuring smile before closing the door. On the way home, he tried to engage the boy in conversation, but Neal wasn't very talkative.

Once they were home, Neal sadly walked into the house. Satchmo greeted him at the door, licking his face relentlessly until Neal finally laughed. Peter had grown to love the sound of Neal's laughter echoing in the house.

"What do say we see if there are any cookies left, kid?" Peter led Neal into the kitchen, settling the kid into a seat at the bar before warming up a plate of cookies and pouring them both some milk. As he sat the plate down, he noticed that a look of sadness had returned to the boy. "You've had a rough day, haven't you?"

"It's been a no-good day, Peter. Who knew kindergarten would be so hard?" Neal sighed, dramatically, as he stuffed a cookie in his mouth. "I might need more cookies, Peter, to take away my pain."

"Oh, you think so? Well, I don't think Elizabeth would mind, as long as it makes you feel better," Peter said with a smile.

"Lizbef wouldn't mind," Neal said with a mouth full of cookie. "She understands these things."

Peter watched as Neal ate a few more cookies. "Neal, I'm sorry that your first day was a no-good day. Mr. Parker was wrong to not listen to you. However, I want to talk to you about how you threw the eraser at the kid and yelled at him to shut up. You know that you shouldn't have done that, right?"

"He threw the eraser at me first, Peter. He hit me in the head and it hurt. Then he called me a baby! In front of everyone!"

"I'm not saying that what he did was okay, Neal. I'm trying to get you to understand that what you did was not right. Retaliation is never the answer, okay? And you're only responsible for your own actions."

"It's not fair, Peter. I got in trouble and he didn't. Besides, I don't even know what taliation means, so how could I have done that?"

Peter tried to explain, but couldn't seem to find the right words to make a five year old understand. Finally, he just put it as simply as he could. "Just because someone does something to you, doesn't mean you can do the same thing to them, Neal, okay? Sometimes you have to be brave and just let it go."

"I tried to do that all day, Peter. But, when that kid called me a baby, I couldn't take it anymore. My camel's back broke and I lost it." Peter laughed at the seriousness on Neal's face. "It's not funny, Peter. When that happened, it made my no-good day even worse."

"I'm not laughing at you, Neal. I'm just wondering how you know about the 'straw that broke the camel's back' saying?"

"I've always known that, Peter. I'm smart, remember?" Neal smiled at Peter, before turning serious again. "My no-good day is almost better, Peter. I think one more cookie ought to do it, okay?"

* * *

Authors note: Gotta love Neal and his cookies, right? And here's a little Peter/Neal bonding like some of you asked for.

Someone brought up the fact that Neal should have already been in either preschool or kindergarten at his age, so I wanted to explain my thinking. At the beginning of this story, Neal had just turned five. Peter and Elizabeth gained custody of him sometime in the later part of summer, so instead of enrolling him in a preschool at such a late date, they found a daycare group instead. He entered kindergarten in September, when school started again. Hopefully, that explains it a little bit.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for reading.


	9. Trouble Comes In Small Packages

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 9

* * *

By the time Elizabeth came home, Neal was in a better mood. He had the slightest little stomachache, but wasn't about to admit it to anyone, knowing that Elizabeth would be mad if she knew how many cookies he had eaten.

He was up in his room, drawing on his chalkboard wall, when he heard the front door open. Minutes later, he heard the sound of Elizabeth's footsteps on the stairs and knew she was coming up to see him. Just as she opened his door, he leaped at her. "Lizbef! You're home!"

"Hi, sweetie…..How was your day?" Elizabeth sat down on the bed and pulled Neal close to her. "Tell me all about it."

Elizabeth hadn't talked to her husband yet, so she didn't have any idea of how Neal's day had gone. She could tell, though, by the way his face darkened, that it hadn't gone well.

"It was a no-good day, Lizbef, and I don't think I want to go back. I don't like it there."

"Why not, Neal? What happened?"

Neal told her everything that had happened and by the end her heart was aching for the boy.

"It wasn't fair, Lizbef. Mr. Parker made me go to the Principal's office and she's scary. She kept looking at me funny and I didn't like it. Mr. Parker told her that I was being unruly, but I wasn't." Neal looked up at Elizabeth, confusion evident on his face. "Well, I don't know what that word even means, so I guess I might have been."

Elizabeth smiled at that. "It means you were being disobedient and disruptive, sweetie."

"But I wasn't," Neal cried. "I was trying to be good, Lizbef. Honest! That kid threw the eraser at me first! I just threw it back at him. Peter said I shouldn't have um….that I shouldn't taliate, but I was just really mad."

"Peter was right, sweetie. Just because someone wronged you doesn't give you the right to wrong them back. Can you understand that?"

"I guess so, but it's not easy, Lizbef. That kid pushed all my buttons and I was mad."

"I know you were mad, Neal, but sometimes you have to just let things be. Now, there has to be at least one good thing that happened to you today, right? Can you tell me about it?"

A smile brightened Neal's face, which in turn warmed Elizabeth's heart. "I made a friend, Lizbef. She sits in front of me and her name is Leah. She said she liked my tie. And you know what? I gave her half of my cookie at lunch and she said it was the best cookie she ever had."

"That's great, Neal. I'm glad you made a friend. Maybe you can take two cookies tomorrow and give one to Leah."

Neal's eyes lit up, but then quickly darkened. "Are you trying to trick me, Lizbef? I don't want to go back to school, remember? I don't want to have another no-good day."

'Honey, you have to go back to school. And I bet that tomorrow will be a better day. The first day is always the hardest." Before Neal could argue, Elizabeth continued. "Why don't we take Satchmo for a walk, Neal? He's been alone all day and I think he could use some company."

Neal looked like he still wanted to argue about school, but he didn't. He followed Elizabeth downstairs and helped her hook Satchmo to his leash.

* * *

That night was a no-good night for any of them. Neal decided that there was absolutely no way that he was going to go back to school the next day. To prove his point, he refused to eat dinner and then refused to take his bath. Peter had to pick the boy up, undress him and plop him down in the water. Neal, of course, climbed out of the tub the minute Peter's back was turned. Fortunately, Peter turned back just in time to stop the boy from slipping out the door.

"Neal, that's enough! Get in the bathtub and stay there, little man."

Neal stood rooted to the spot, hands fisted at his side, not caring that he was standing in front of Peter completely naked. He absolutely did not want to have to take a bath!

Peter picked the boy up and again plopped him down into the tub. Neal brought his hands down hard to the water, drenching Peter completely. "That's it, little man. You're going to bed as soon as your bath is done."

Neal didn't like that idea, at all. He had come to enjoy the part of the day where the three of them watched television or played a game. To give up that part of the night was definitely the straw that broke the back of Neal's camel, causing the poor boy to finally lose it.

Picking up one of his toy boats, he threw it at Peter, hitting the man square on the nose. Peter let fly a few inappropriate words, surprising both himself and Neal, who by this time realized that he had gone too far.

Without another word, Peter took Neal out of the bathtub, dried him off and helped him into his pajamas, and then marched him downstairs into the dining room. Still not saying anything, he pulled out one of the dining room chairs and placed it in the corner, before turning back to the little boy.

"Sit, Neal." When Neal didn't make a move to do what he was told, Peter wasted no time in picking the child up and placing him on the chair. "You'll sit there for the next ten minutes and think about why you're in time-out, Neal. Is that clear? When your time is up, I expect you to be able to tell me why you're being punished."

At these words, Neal burst into tears, his little feet kicking angrily at the chair legs. Elizabeth, who had been in the basement doing laundry, flew up the stairs to find out what was wrong with Neal. She couldn't believe her eyes when she found a crying child, sitting in time-out, and her husband holding his swollen nose.

"What in the world happened?" she asked. "Why is Neal crying and what happened to your nose, hon?"

"Neal happened to my nose, El. He was throwing a fit and I told him that he was to go to bed as soon as his bath was done. He didn't like that idea and he threw his boat at me!"

Elizabeth turned to Neal, who was still crying and kicking his feet. "Neal, sweetie, that was an awful thing to do. I know you're frustrated, but you can't throw things at people. I'm sure you didn't mean to, but you hurt Peter."

Neal started crying even harder at that. Elizabeth kissed him on top of the head before turning away. She knew that they needed to be firm with him, even if it was a hard thing to do.

"Ten minutes, Neal," Peter reiterated.

With that, he and Elizabeth walked into the living room and sat down on the couch together. Peter looked exhausted. "Is this going to get any easier, El?" he asked. "I feel like I don't know what I'm doing with him."

"You're doing a great job with him, hon. You're a natural." Elizabeth tried to reassure her husband, knowing exactly how he felt. "Besides, we knew this wasn't going to be easy, didn't we?"

"We did, but I just feel like I'm completely out of my league, here. Am I being too hard on him? Expecting too much?"

"No, Peter. Neal's a smart kid. He knows he can't throw things at people like that. I think he was just feeling overwhelmed by everything that's happened today and doesn't know how to handle it. He's only five, remember?"

Peter squeezed his wife's hand, wondering how she had gotten so smart.

* * *

The ten minutes that Neal spent in the corner seemed like the longest ten minutes for all three of them. Peter and Elizabeth listened as Neal's cries turned into sobs and then into just sniffles. Eventually, he stopped crying and all that could be heard was the sound of his feet kicking the chair legs, restlessly.

When Peter called him out of the chair, Neal jumped down and slowly walked into the living room, where they were waiting. "Come here, Neal," Peter said, as he motioned for Neal to step over to him. Neal stopped right in front of Peter, standing between his knees. He didn't look up at either Peter or Elizabeth, instead choosing to stare down at Peter's knee, as one hand tugged at one of his curls.

Peter cleared his throat, causing Neal to flinch a little. "Okay, bud, how about if you tell Elizabeth and I why you were punished?"

It took Neal a few seconds to muster up the courage to answer, but he finally did. "I threw my boat at you," he answered, miserably.

"What else, Neal?"

"I-I was being disbedident, Peter. And um….unruly."

"Disobedient, Neal," Peter corrected. "And yes, you were. If you had taken your bath like you were told to, none of this would have happened, little man. You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble, if you had just cooperated."

"I tried to copperate, Peter, but my angriness wouldn't let me."

"Well, it seems like maybe you need to work on controlling your angriness, bud, okay? Now, go on up and brush your teeth. We'll be up in a minute to tuck you in."

Neal looked sadly at Peter and Elizabeth before turning and walking up the stairs.

* * *

Elizabeth checked Neal's teeth to make sure he had brushed them good enough, which, of course, he hadn't. After following him into the bathroom and helping him rebrush, she returned to find Peter waiting in Neal's bedroom.

Neal climbed into bed and looked hopefully at Peter. "Can you read me a story, Peter?" he asked.

"Not tonight, kiddo. You're being sent to bed early as part of your punishment, remember? That means no story."

Peter almost gave in at the look of sadness that crossed Neal's face, but he felt that he had to be strong and consistent. The boy needed to learn that it was never okay to throw something at someone, and if missing his much-loved storybook time helped him to remember that, then so be it. In truth, Peter felt like he was being punished, too, as he had grown to love this part of the night himself.

Elizabeth and Peter both reached down and kissed Neal on the forehead, wishing him pleasant dreams. Just as Peter was about to turn off the light, Neal's soft voice stopped him. "Peter? I'm sorry I threw my boat at you. Is your nose okay?"

"It's okay, Neal, and thank you."

'You're welcome, Peter. I just hope your nose doesn't get any bigger. It's already pretty big."

Elizabeth snorted at that, causing Peter to glare at her, as he turned out the light. "Go to sleep, Neal!"

* * *

Peter felt like he had only been asleep for ten minutes when he woke up to a strange noise. After waiting a few long seconds for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, he was surprised to find Neal standing next to his bed. "Neal? What are you doing up, buddy?"

"I can't sleep, Peter. I can't stop my brain from thinking and it's giving me a brain-ache."

"You have a headache?"

"No, it's a brain-ache, Peter. I think it's cuz my brain's too busy."

Peter looked at the clock and realized that it only one in the morning. Not knowing what to do, he woke Elizabeth up and explained everything to her. Jumping out of bed, she took Neal into the bathroom to check him out and to give him some medicine. When they returned, Elizabeth started to head back to Neal's room, but he stopped her.

"Lizbef? Can I sleep with you? Please?" Neal looked up at her with his pain-filled blue eyes, and she had no choice but to pull her blankets back and let Neal crawl into bed. She nearly cried out when his ice-cold feet settled against her legs, but was able to stop herself, just in time. Peter looked at her over the top of Neal's head, wondering what she was thinking. The bed was barely big enough for the two of them, as it was. Elizabeth just shrugged her shoulders at him and settled in. Just as she was about to close her eyes, she felt Neal reach up and grab a lock of her. Minutes later, he was sound asleep, her hair still clutched in his little hand.

* * *

Peter woke up the next morning with an aching pain in his back. He realized suddenly that he was laying stiffly on the very edge of the bed and that Neal had one foot planted in the middle of his back and the other against his head. The boy had to be practically upside down in the bed, he thought. Slowly getting out of bed, he looked down to find that the boy was actually completely sideways in the bed. Elizabeth had been relegated to the very edge of her side of the bed, too, although she looked a little more comfortable than he had been. She was lying on her back, and Neal was using her stomach as a pillow, and the sight of the two of them sleeping so peacefully made Peter smile. It also made him a little jealous. He didn't think that he had ever had such an uncomfortable night's sleep before and he hoped that this wasn't going to be a routine event.

After taking a quick shower, Peter woke his wife up. They both had busy days planned and needed to get going a little earlier than usual, especially now that they had the extra task of getting a five year old up and around.

Neal woke up in a cranky mood, especially when Peter told him it was time to get ready for school.

"I'm not going to school, Peter. I don't like it there, remember?"

Peter definitely wasn't in the mood to fight with Neal about going to school, so he made sure the kid understood right away that he didn't have a choice. "You're going to school, Neal, and that's final. If you decide to argue with me, you'll find yourself going to bed even earlier tonight."

Neal didn't say anything in reply to Peter's warning. He went into his bedroom and started getting dressed, picking out another shirt and tie. Peter wondered how the fixation with dressing up came about.

Once they were downstairs, Neal barely picked at his breakfast, even though it was one of his favorites. He didn't say anything to Peter, but his head was still hurting a little. Eventually, Elizabeth made it downstairs and she couldn't help but smile at how adorable Neal looked.

"Good morning, sweetie. How does your head feel? Better?"

"I guess so, Lizbef, but maybe I should stay home, just in case." Neal looked hopefully at Elizabeth.

"Sorry, Neal, but you need to go to school. If you miss a day, you'll get behind. Besides, don't you want to take a cookie to share with Leah?"

Neal's eyes brightened at that. "Can I? Can I give her the one that has the most chocolate chips?"

"Of course, you can. Why don't you come and help me pick out the best one?"

Minutes later, Neal was ready to go to school, anxious to show Leah the cookie he had picked out just for her.

* * *

Once back at school, Neal had a much better day. Mr. Parker actually apologized to him for thinking that he was lying and to make up for it, he assigned Neal as classroom helper for the day. That meant that Neal and someone he chose got to go to the cafeteria to pick up their mid-morning snack and bring it back to the classroom. Neal, of course, chose Leah to help him.

At lunchtime, he gave Leah the cookie he had picked out for her, making sure that she knew it was the one with the most chocolate chips in it. They had become fast friends, spending most of their free time together. Unfortunately, Neal found out that the boy that had thrown the eraser at him was Leah's cousin, Patrick, and he didn't like the fact that she was spending all of her time with Neal.

During the last recess of the day, Patrick cornered Neal on the jungle-gym, telling him to leave his cousin alone. Patrick was a lot bigger than Neal, but Neal wasn't about to let him take away his very first friend.

"Leah can be friends with anyone she wants, Patrick. And she wants to be_ my _friend."

"You better stay away from her, Neal." Patrick looked at Neal, angrily.

Neal tried to turn away, but Patrick stopped him by grabbing his tie.

"Let go of my tie," Neal growled.

"Why do you wear such stupid clothes, anyway?" Patrick asked. "Does your mommy pick out your clothes for you?"

Again, Neal tried to ignore Patrick, but the boy wouldn't leave him alone, still pulling on his tie.

Finally, Neal had had enough. Grabbing his tie, he jerked it away from Patrick with one hand, while pushing the boy away with his other hand. Unfortunately, Neal didn't see the backpack that was directly behind Patrick, and he couldn't stop the boy from tripping over the bag. Patrick fell down, crying out as his head bounced off the ground. Neal immediately tried to help the boy up, but Patrick refused to get up. Within seconds, two teachers had shown up and after getting the story of what had happened from the students gathered around, Neal once more found himself on his way to the Principal's office.

* * *

Peter couldn't believe it when he received another phone call from Neal's school, telling him that Neal was in trouble again. It was only the second day of school! How was it possible that the kid had gotten in trouble again?!

Packing up his case files, Peter once again told Diana that he had to leave. Diana gave him a strange look, before turning to say something to Jones. They knew all about how the Burkes had taken in Neal, and everyone in the White Collar division thought that the idea of Peter as a father was adorable. The man didn't realize it himself, but he was a very paternal being.

Entering the school again, Peter had a sense of déjà vu. That sense increased when he found Neal sitting in the same chair as before, kicking his feet against the chair legs. This time, though, Neal didn't jump up and run to Peter when he saw him. Instead, he suddenly stopped kicking his legs and became completely still, staring at his hands that were clasped in his lap.

"Neal, what happened this time?" Peter looked worriedly at the small boy, noticing that his tie was askew and that his neck was a little red, as if his shirt collar had tightened.

Just as he was about to ask Neal again, the door to Mrs. Corbin's office opened to reveal the Principal, a man and woman, and a young boy that looked to be about Neal's age. The boy looked like he had been crying, and Peter didn't miss the glare that he shot at Neal.

After a few more words between them, the couple and young boy left, leaving Mrs. Corbin to usher Peter and Neal into the office. This time, Neal sat nervously in the seat next to Peter's, still not looking up at the man. Peter could tell that it was taking everything Neal had within him not to give in to the desire to bounce his legs. Peter knew that the kid was like a fireball of energy and that if he didn't find some way to release some of that energy, he would explode. He suddenly hoped that this meeting wouldn't take too long.

"Mr. Burke, there was an incident during recess that involved Neal and another young man from his class. As you know, we have a zero tolerance policy on bullying and fighting here at Sheffield Elementary. It seems that Neal and this other student engaged in both this afternoon.

Peter found it hard to believe that Neal would take part in any type of bullying. Instead of saying anything, he turned to Neal. "Is this true, Neal?" he asked.

Neal finally turned his eyes up to Peter, who could see the desperation in them. Neal wanted badly for Peter to believe him, it seemed. "I didn't bully him, Peter. I just tried to tell him that Leah was my friend and that I could be her friend, if she wanted me to. He told me to stay away from her and I told him I wouldn't. He was being a bully, Peter. Not me!"

"Okay, Neal, I believe you, buddy. What else happened? Where does the fighting come into play?"

Neal's eyes filled with tears, but Peter was surprised to see that Neal kept himself composed. "I didn't mean to push him down, Peter. He grabbed my tie and he wouldn't let go. I asked him to, but he just hung on to it. So, I grabbed it and jerked it out of his hand and I pushed him away, but there was a backpack behind him and he tripped over it. I tried to help him up, Peter, but he wouldn't let me. I didn't mean to hurt him."

Peter reached out and grabbed Neal's shoulder. "Thank you for being honest, Neal." Turning back to Mrs. Corbin, he asked her how the school was going to handle the situation.

Mrs. Corbin looked closely at Neal, before answering. "Patrick Dunbar told a completely different story, Mr. Burke, but a few of the other students confirmed Neal's version of events. Other than the fact that Neal pushed him, it seems that Patrick is responsible for what happened. I think that perhaps if Neal stayed in detention for one recess a day for the rest of the week, we can call it even." Turning to Neal, Mrs. Corbin gave him a smile. "Neal, I appreciate you being truthful today. I understand that Patrick provoked you, but I want you to understand that you need to learn to control yourself, too. If anything like that happens again, you should walk away and find the nearest teacher, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," Neal answered, softly.

Mrs. Corbin stood up and turned to Peter. "Mr. Burke, I hope that this doesn't become a routine. Two times in two days has to be a record."

After saying goodbye, Peter once again led Neal out to the car. Once they were both buckled in, Neal looked at Peter, worriedly. "Peter? Do I have to go to bed early tonight?"

"What makes you ask that, kid?"

"I got in trouble again," Neal answered, sadly. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Peter. I'm more trouble than a mirth."

"I think that's supposed to be 'I'm more trouble than I'm worth', Neal," Peter laughed.

"That doesn't make sense, Peter," Neal said. "Trouble isn't worth anything, it's free."

After a long minute of looking thoughtfully at Peter, Neal continued. "I think you need to read more, Peter. If you want, I'll let you read me two stories tonight."

* * *

Authors note: Neal and his mispronunciations and messed up quotes…..How cute is he? And how did you like Neal hogging the whole bed? If you've ever slept in a bed with a five year old, you'll understand. My youngest son was the worst to sleep with and he always insisted on playing with my hair until he fell asleep. Drove me crazy sometimes, but oh how I miss it now that he's fourteen.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I promise that there is some excitement coming up soon, so just be patient a little longer.


	10. I Dreamed A Dream

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 10

* * *

A month after Neal started Kindergarten, things were going better. Neal was doing better in school, especially academically. Mr. Parker had a meeting with Peter and Elizabeth, explaining to them that he felt like Neal needed to be challenged a little more. Neal was leaps and bounds ahead of the other kindergartners, especially in reading, writing and creative aspects.

Mr. Parker suggested skipping Neal ahead to the first grade, but Peter and Elizabeth were reluctant to alienate Neal from the other students. He was already one of the smallest students in the school, so moving him ahead would only intensify that. Together, they came up with a plan to move him into an advanced reading group and to give him more advanced writing projects to do at home. The Burkes also agreed to enroll him in an extra-curricular art class, something they had already been planning on anyway.

The situation with Patrick had improved, as well, although there were still occasional run-ins between the two. These run-ins were usually stopped by Leah, although there were a few times that both Neal and Patrick had to sit on the time-out bench at recess.

Things at home were an entirely different story, though. Neal's nightmares were getting worse and he ended up climbing into bed with Peter and Elizabeth most nights. Because of these nightmares, Neal never wanted to go to sleep, either, making their usual bedtime routine miserable for all of them.

It seemed that as soon as dinner was over, Neal practically became a different child, knowing that it was almost bedtime. Bath time became a battle of wills between Neal and whoever was helping him. He would refuse to cooperate in any way, causing Peter or Elizabeth to have to both physically place him in the tub and remove him. By the time the bath was over, they were all exhausted. Peter and Elizabeth knew what was going on in his little head and were frustrated that they couldn't help him through it. Elizabeth finally set up an appointment with a child psychologist, hoping that would help, but the appointment was two weeks away.

Neal had also become clingier the closer it came to bedtime. Peter would often read Neal two stories, hoping to settle his soul, but the boy would still look terrified to fall asleep. Eventually, either Peter or Elizabeth would lay down with Neal and stay long after the boy finally fell asleep. Regardless of their efforts, though, Neal always woke up screaming from a nightmare. Some nights he wanted Elizabeth to hold him, other nights he wanted Peter. He could never remember what his dreams were about, but both Elizabeth and Peter had their own theory.

* * *

Finally, the day came for Neal to see Dr. Lennox. Elizabeth and Peter took the day off, and Neal stayed home from school. Peter made the mistake of telling Neal that they were taking him to the doctor, a thought that made him extremely unhappy.

"I don't wanna go to the doctor, Peter! I hate doctors!" Neal cried. "Please, don't make me go!"

"Neal, it's okay. This doctor is really nice and Elizabeth and I will be right there with you."

"But, I'm not sick, Peter. I don't need a doctor." Neal argued.

Elizabeth bent down in front of Neal. "Neal, this is a special doctor. She's going to help us figure out why you keep having bad dreams, that's all."

"You promise she's not gonna shoot me?" Neal asked. "Leah said she went to the doctor and got shot! She said it really hurt!"

"Neal, doctor's don't shoot people. Leah probably meant that she got a shot of medicine in her arm, sweetie. It only hurts for a few minutes and then you're all better."

"I don't want a shot, Lizbef, okay? Promise?"

"I promise, Neal. No shots."

* * *

By the time they arrived at their appointment, Neal, Elizabeth and Peter were all nervous wrecks. None of them had slept well the night before, thanks to a particularly bad nightmare that actually made Neal throw up.

As they waited in the waiting room, Neal sat curled up next to Elizabeth, holding a strand of her hair in his fingers, as he watched a boy a few years older than him playing with a plastic dump truck.

"Wouldn't you like to play with some of the toys, Neal?" Elizabeth gently asked.

"No, thank you, Lizbef. My magination needs to rest, I think."

Elizabeth passed a smile to Peter, who was watching Neal closely. Elizabeth knew that Peter was feeling totally helpless in all of this. He was used to being able to solve problems on his own, but this particular problem was way out of his league.

"Neal, why don't you sit with Peter for a minute, okay? I need to talk to that lady at the front desk."

Elizabeth watched as Neal climbed down from his chair and climbed up onto Peter's lap. She couldn't keep from smiling at the sight of the two of them. Grabbing a book off of a nearby table, she handed it to her husband. "Maybe you two could read a story while I'm gone."

Neal smiled at that, eager to listen to Peter tell him a story.

* * *

Dr. Lennox welcomed them into her office, which looked a lot like a comfortable living room. Other than the diplomas and certificates on the wall, it was very homey and not very business-like. Elizabeth and Peter sat down on a comfortable sofa with Neal wedged in between them, after introducing themselves to Dr. Lennox.

"Hello, Neal….my name is Dr. Lennox, but most of my patients call me Dr. Hope. How are you?"

With an encouraging look from Elizabeth, Neal sat up straighter and looked at the doctor. "Hi, Dr. Hope."

"Well, Neal, Elizabeth told me on the phone a little about what's been going on at home, but before we talk about that, I thought we could get to know each other a little bit. Is that okay?"

Neal nodded, looking down at his hands.

"How about if I go first? My name is Abigail Hope, but I've always gone by my middle name. I'm thirty-five years old. My husband is a doctor, too, but he takes care of kids when they're sick. We have two children, a boy and a girl, who are both eight years old. I like to read and I like to ski. And I hate asparagus and liver."

Neal watched her closely, as she continued to talk about things that she liked or didn't like. Eventually, though, she asked him if he could tell her a little about himself. Neal shrank back into the couch, not really wanting to talk about himself, but again, Elizabeth gave him an encouraging look.

"Maybe you could start by telling her your full name and how old you are, sweetie. And tell her something that you like. That wouldn't be too hard, right?"

Neal looked at the doctor for a long minute, before answering. "My name is Neal George Caffrey and I'm five years old. I'm in kindergarten. I like to draw and I hate asparagus, too."

"Wow! Thank you, Neal, for sharing. I'd love to hear more. Can you tell me a few other things you like?"

Neal looked quickly at Peter and Elizabeth before continuing. "I like Satchmo. He's our dog and he's really big. Sometimes he jumps on me, but he doesn't mean to knock me down. He's just really, really happy to see me. I like to take him for a walk. Elizabeth won't let me go by myself. She's afraid I might get lost, but I never get lost, especially now that I'm five."

After getting Neal to tell her a few more things about himself, Dr. Lennox decided to approach the subject of his nightmares.

"Neal, it seems like a lot has happened to you recently and that you keep having bad dreams at night. Elizabeth told me that your mommy went to Heaven and that you went to live with your aunt and uncle. I'm sorry about your mommy, Neal. I'm sure you miss her very much."

Neal's eyes clouded over at the change of subject and both Peter and Elizabeth could feel his body stiffen. "I miss her a lot and Lizbef says she loved me very much."

"I'm sure she did, Neal. That's how mommies are. Can I ask you a question about your aunt and uncle?" At Neal's nod, she continued. "Did you know them before you went to live with them, Neal?"

The three adults had to listen closely when Neal answered in a much softer voice. "I knew Jenna from stories my mommy told me. I think I met her once, but I was really little. I never met William until that day that Jenna took me away."

"I bet you were very brave that day, Neal. It must have been scary to leave your home like that."

"Jenna didn't even let me take my toys. She said we didn't have time, and that William was waiting for us in the car. She made me leave everything there."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Neal. I bet that made you sad, didn't it?"

Neal nodded. "I wish I didn't have to go with them. I didn't like them."

* * *

After a few more questions, Dr. Lennox could tell that Neal was getting tired. "Neal, I think we've talked enough for the day, but I'd like to ask you to do something for me, okay? I'm going to see you again on Friday, and I would like it if you could go home and draw me two pictures and bring them back Friday. I'd like you to draw me a picture of something that makes you feel scared and something that makes you feel safe. Do you think you can do that?"

"I can do that," Neal answered. "I'm a really good drawer."

"That's what I hear," Dr. Lennox answered. "Now, if you go over to the window, there's some juice and cookies waiting for you. I'd like to speak with Peter and Elizabeth before you leave."

Neal quickly walked over to the window, happy to see that the cookies were chocolate chip. Dr. Lennox turned back to Peter and Elizabeth. "He did great today, Mr. and Mrs. Burke. I didn't expect him to open up so easily, but I think that says a lot about how safe he feels with the two of you. I can tell that the three of you are exhausted, obviously from the frequent interruptions of the nightmares, but for now I'm going to ask you to be patient. I don't want to push Neal too hard or too fast, so we'll be taking this somewhat slow. In the meantime, I want you to try to encourage Neal to stay in his own bed at night. When he wakes up, go to him and stay with him until he falls asleep again. If he comes to you, wanting to sleep with you, take him back to his room and do the same thing. Neal needs to learn that he's safe in his room."

Dr. Lennox looked at both Peter and Elizabeth. "Neal's been through a lot this past year, but he's a remarkable boy. The two of you are doing an amazing job with him and he's extremely lucky to have you. A child like Neal doesn't do well in the foster care system. He needs one on one attention. I know things can be rough at times, but with a little patience and perseverance, things will be okay. Hang in there, and if you need to talk, I'm available."

After saying goodbye to the doctor, Peter and Elizabeth led Neal out to the car. "What do you say we get some ice cream, Neal?" Peter asked.

"Really? Wow, wait til I tell Leah I got ice cream without even getting shot. She'll be jealous!"

Elizabeth and Peter laughed loudly at that.

* * *

Once they were home, Neal went directly to his bedroom and started drawing the pictures Dr. Lennox had asked for. He spent a whole hour drawing quietly, allowing Peter and Elizabeth to both rest quietly on their bed. Eventually, though, they heard the sound of a rambunctious Neal playing with an equally rambunctious Satchmo in the living room. Peter jumped out of bed and raced downstairs, before something was broken.

"Whoa, there, Neal," he said, as he grabbed the little boy around the waist, before he could jump off the back of the sofa. "What do you think you're doing, little man? You know better than to jump on the furniture."

"I wasn't jumping _on_ the furniture, Peter. I was jumping _off_ of it," Neal answered, matter-of-factly.

"Either way, Neal, you know that's not allowed." He put Neal down on the floor. "You could very easily fall and hurt yourself doing that."

Neal rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to fall, Peter. I have monkey blood, remember?"

"No jumping on or off the furniture, Neal," Peter said, sternly. "Monkey blood or not, it's dangerous."

"Peter…..I bet you used to jump off the sofa when you were five, didn't you?"

"I sure did, Neal, and do you know what happened? I broke my mom's flower vase and when my dad came home, he was really mad."

"What happened, Peter? Did you have to go to bed early?"

"I sure did, Neal. And, my dad spanked me. I never climbed on the furniture after that."

Neal looked up at Peter, his eyes huge in his little face. "He spanked you? That's awful, Peter."

"Well, my brother's and I knew that we weren't supposed to jump on the furniture, Neal. We chose to do it anyway, so we broke the rules."

Neal looked at Peter knowingly. "You were being disbedient and unruly, weren't you, Peter?"

"Yes, Neal, we were definitely being disobedient and unruly, just like you."

Neal's eyes got even bigger at that. "Peter?" he asked in a small voice. "I'm sorry for being disbedient. You're not going to s-s-spank me, are you?"

"Not today, little man. But, consider this your only warning, okay? If you choose to jump on the furniture again, I just might."

Neal looked completely relieved at these words. "Come on, Satchmo….let's go play outside, before I forget and jump on the furniture again." With that, he quickly went out in the backyard, making sure he was far away from temptation.

* * *

Peter and Elizabeth woke up to the sound of Neal screaming once again. Running into his room, they found him sitting up in his bed, crying for Elizabeth. Elizabeth ran to him and gathered him up in her arms, whispering soft words of comfort into his ear. Peter stood by helplessly, not knowing what to do to help.

"Neal, can you tell me what your dream was about, sweetie?" Elizabeth asked, gently.

Neal started crying even harder, as he clung even tighter to Elizabeth. "Don't let her take me, Lizbef. Please! I don't want her to take me!"

"Who, Neal?" Elizabeth asked.

"Jenna! She's going to take me away, Lizbef! Don't let her, okay?"

"Oh, sweetie…..We won't let Jenna take you, I promise! You're safe here, Neal. Peter and I are right here, okay? Satchmo, too."

Elizabeth held Neal for a long time, until he finally stopped crying. Once he had stopped, she tried to lay him back in his bed, but he wouldn't let go of her. "I wanna sleep with you, Lizbef," he cried.

Elizabeth shared a look with Peter, before answering him. "How about if I lay down with you, Neal? And Peter can read us a story, okay?"

Neal didn't seem too happy with the idea of staying in his bedroom, but he allowed Elizabeth to lay down next to him. Elizabeth laughed as he struggled to get her hair out of the bun she had put it in before going to bed. Minutes later, he was happy as he wrapped his fingers up in her hair and settled down to listen to Peter read his favorite story about a monkey named Jim.

* * *

By Friday, Peter, Elizabeth and Neal were completely and totally past the point of exhaustion. Trying to keep Neal in his own bed made everything several times harder on all of them, but Peter and Elizabeth followed through with Dr. Lennox's instructions.

Neal proudly brought his drawings along to the meeting, but he hadn't shown them to Peter or Elizabeth. Once in the doctor's office, Neal handed the drawings to her right away.

"Wow! These are great, Neal. Can you tell me a little bit about them? How about this one here?" Dr. Lennox pointed to a picture that closely depicted the scene in William's office where Peter stood between Neal and a towering, angry looking William. "What's happening in this picture, Neal?"

Neal looked up at Dr. Lennox and said with a strong voice, "Peter saved me."

"Can you tell me a little about that day, Neal?"

"William was really mad at me that day, I think because Jenna left me there. He took me to his office and he wouldn't let me do anything. He yelled at me when I told him I wanted to go home, and then he made me sit down. I sat there forever, Dr. Hope. And I tried to be good, but he kept getting mad at me. I fell asleep and when I woke up, Peter was there. He made William mad, too, but Peter didn't get scared. He made sure William didn't hurt me." Neal paused for several long seconds before continuing. "I'm gonna be brave like Peter when I grow up."

Dr. Lennox smiled at Neal. "Neal, I bet if you ask Peter, he'll tell you that he was really scared that day, too. And I bet he'll tell you that you were really brave, as well."

Neal looked up and gave everyone a small smile. "I guess that's cuz I'm five years old, Dr. Hope."

"Okay, Neal….why don't you tell me a little about this other picture? Can you tell me why you _don't_ feel safe in this one?" Dr. Lennox held a picture that showed a small boy, obviously Neal himself, sitting with his back against the door in a dark room.

Neal suddenly looked like he wanted to run from the room. The three adults all noticed how his body stiffened and how his eyes darted around him nervously. "It's okay, Neal….you're safe here, remember?"

Peter stepped closer to Neal and placed his hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. Neal sidled up closer to Peter, before he began to talk.

"That's me in my room at Jenna's house. I hated it there."

"Can you tell me why you hated it there, Neal?"

"It was an awful house, Dr. Hope. No one was happy there. Jenna and William didn't like it when I was around them, so they made me stay in my bedroom all the time."

"Didn't you feel safe in your bedroom, Neal?"

"No, I hated it there. William got mad at me one night when I fell asleep with the light on, so he took the light away. It was dark in there and I don't like the dark."

Dr. Lennox talked with Neal for a while longer, before steering him into lighter conversation. "Why don't you tell me about the bedroom you have now? What do you like best about it?"

"I love my room. I have a wall that I can draw on and there's a bookcase full of books for me to read. I let Peter read them to me, cuz he likes story time. And Lizbef gave me a nightlight, so it's never dark in my new room."

"That was nice of Elizabeth, wasn't it?"

"Lizbef doesn't like it when I'm scared. She says it makes her sad. Sometimes, I let her lay in bed with me, so she feels better."

"That's very thoughtful of you, Neal. I'm sure that makes her feel better. Now, what do you say we call it a day? I think Peter is looking a little hungry, don't you?"

Neal laughed at that. "Yep, I can hear his stomach growling like a crazy lion. He needs to feed it." Turning to Peter, he said seriously, "I think I heard it ask for pizza, Peter."

Peter ruffled Neal's hair. "Well, I guess that means we better get some pizza, little man."

Neal said goodbye to Dr. Lennox as he followed Peter and Elizabeth, looking rather proud of himself, as he walked out the door.

* * *

Authors note: Poor little Neal and those pesky nightmares. Good thing he has Elizabeth's hair to play with and Peter to read him a story, right?


	11. Strange Happenings

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 11

* * *

It took several weeks and multiple visits with Dr. Lennox before Peter and Elizabeth finally understood what Neal's nightmares were all about. It was fairly obvious to everyone involved that Neal's time with Jenna and William was anything but pleasant. Unfortunately, they just never knew the full extent of Neal's mistreatment.

Through many conversations with Dr. Lennox, Neal shared what had happened to him, in bits and pieces. Peter and Elizabeth were saddened to realize that Neal really didn't even understand that the way Jenna and William Miller treated him was abusive and neglectful. In his little mind, their treatment of him was just the way it was. From locking him in his room, to sending him to bed without dinner, Neal's basic needs were often neglected. They learned that Jenna rarely lifted a hand toward him, but neither did she stop William from physically hurting him, whenever he felt like it.

Most nights Neal would put himself to bed and if he had a bad dream during the night, he would stay awake the rest of the night, afraid to go back to sleep. William and Jenna would often yell at him to stop crying and go back to sleep, but neither of them would ever actually check on him. All in all, Neal rarely had a good moment while living with the Millers.

Dr. Lennox, Peter and Elizabeth reinforced the fact that Neal would never have to go back to the Millers. Peter reminded him that William Miller was in jail and would stay there for a long time. As for Jenna, they had no idea where she was, but Peter and Elizabeth were pretty confident that no judge would give her custody of Neal, after she had left him like she did.

Neal was starting to feel more settled as the weeks went by and the nightmares even lessened, much to everyone's relief. The first night without a nightmare was the best night of sleep any of them had had in a long time, and the next morning, they were all in a great mood.

* * *

Although things were definitely better, Neal still had the occasional nightmare and he wasn't too happy with the fact that Peter and Elizabeth weren't letting him sleep in their bed anymore. His nightmares didn't seem as bad as they once were, and every once in a while he would wake up without screaming and without waking up Peter or Elizabeth. On these occasions, Neal would go downstairs, fix himself a snack, which usually consisted of cookies and milk, and curl up on the sofa with Satchmo to watch television. During these times, he would watch the classic movie channel that Elizabeth liked to watch, and he grew to love the classic rat pack movies they often showed. He especially loved Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra and the fedoras they wore in some of the movies.

Inevitably, Neal's nighttime wanderings were discovered and, of course, quickly put to a stop. Peter happened to go downstairs one night, at three o'clock in the morning, to get a snack and was surprised to find a sleeping Neal on the sofa, chocolate covering his hands and face. Satchmo was curled up next to him, sound asleep, as well, and the television was on.

Peter went into the kitchen and brought out a damp towel to clean the chocolate off of Neal. He was surprised that the kid never stirred during the clean-up process or when he picked him up and took him upstairs to bed. Once he had Neal settled again, he went back downstairs and cleaned up the rest of the mess made by the five year old.

The next morning, Peter watched Neal as he picked at his breakfast. Elizabeth watched him, too, concerned that his lack of appetite meant that he might not be feeling well. Neal told her that he felt fine and that he just wasn't that hungry, which gave Peter the perfect opportunity to talk to Neal about his nighttime adventures.

"I bet that's because you filled up on cookies last night, right, Neal?"

Elizabeth spoke up before Neal could answer. "He only had two cookies after dinner, hon. I made sure of that."

"Well, it seems like our little champ decided he wanted more sometime during the night, El. I found him sound asleep on the couch, after obviously pigging out on cookies and milk."

Elizabeth went over to the cookie jar and looked inside. "Neal George Caffrey, the cookies are almost gone! How many did you eat, young man? And what were you doing out of bed?"

Neal looked guiltily at Elizabeth. "I couldn't sleep, Lizbef, and I was hungry. I didn't mean to eat so many, but they were yummy. Maybe next time, you could make them taste yucky, so my tummy won't want so many."

"Maybe next time you should just hide them, so Neal can't find them," Peter said, with a laugh. "Buddy, you can't be wandering around the house when El and I are asleep, okay? What if something happened and we didn't know it? We need to know that you're safe in your room at night, is that clear?"

"But, I was safe with Satchmo, Peter. He won't let anything happen to me. "

"Still not a good idea, little man. If you're having trouble sleeping, you can read a book or you can come and tell us, okay? But, no more nighttime adventures."

"And no more cookies in the middle of the night, young man," Elizabeth added.

Neal didn't look happy with the new rules, not really understanding what the big deal was. Sometimes, a man had to wander, and sometimes, a man needed cookies in the middle of the night. "Okay, but don't blame me if I accidentally sleepwalk and eat cookies, Lizbef. My tummy has a mind of its own, sometimes." Neal suddenly looked like he had a bright idea. "Maybe if you let me have _four_ cookies after dinner, my tummy won't want more in the middle of the night."

Peter laughed out loud at that. The boy never ceased to amaze him with his schemes to get more cookies. They definitely needed to stay on their toes with this little guy!

* * *

Neal came home from school the next afternoon excited and full of energy. Peter, who had been the one to pick him up from school, looked exhausted. He had been having some particularly tough days at work and his patience was definitely running thin. Neal's over-abundance of energy just about did him in, but luckily, he was able to keep his frustration in check, long enough to get the kid home.

"Lizbef! Guess what?! We're having a Halloween party at school and we get to dress up. Mr. Parker asked us if we could bring stuff for the party and I said that you would make us cookies. Can you do that, Lizbef? Please?"

"Of course, I can, Neal. When is the party?" Elizabeth asked.

"It's on Monday, Lizbef, so I need a costume. What should I be?"

Elizabeth felt bad that she hadn't given Halloween a single thought. "I don't know, sweetie. Why don't you have a quick snack and then you and I can go shopping. Would you like that?"

"Yeah! Can Peter come, too?"

Elizabeth looked at Peter and realized how tired he looked. "I think Peter is too tired, Neal, so it will just be the two of us."

After Neal's snack, they said goodbye to Peter and headed out the door. Neal was still bubbling with energy and was talking non-stop about anything that crossed his mind. Elizabeth listened happily, as she drove, finding great joy in his constant chatter.

Once they were at the nearest mall, they walked into a department store that Elizabeth thought might have children's costumes. Unsurprisingly, the costume department was teeming with parents and children, all trying to find the perfect costume. They looked through rows and rows of costumes, but Neal didn't like anything he saw.

"I don't want to be any of these, Lizbef, because that's what everyone else is going to be. Cole said he was going to be a fireman, Jacob's going to be a wizard, and Simon's going to be Buzz Lightyear. I don't want to be a superhero, either, because stupid Patrick is going to be Batman."

Elizabeth scolded Neal for calling Patrick stupid, before offering him a few more ideas. "How about a football player, Neal? Or a cowboy?"

Neal didn't like any of Elizabeth's ideas, so they decided to try another store. As they were walking though the store and into the mall, they walked through the men's department, where Neal abruptly stopped. "That's it, LIzbef! I want that!" Neal pointed excitedly at a mannequin that was wearing a peacoat and a fedora.

"What are you talking about, Neal?" Elizabeth stared in confusion at the mannequin.

"Can I have that hat, Lizbef? I want to be Dean Martin for Halloween. Please?"

Elizabeth looked incredulously at Neal. "How in the world do you even know who Dean Martin is, sweetie?"

"I saw him on TV. Please, Lizbef? I already have the shirt and tie. I just need a coat and that hat! Please?" Neal looked up at Elizabeth with his big blue eyes and she had no choice but to give in.

"Okay, Neal, but I want to warn you that none of the kids at school will know who you are."

"That's okay. I'll tell them, so then they'll know," Neal answered.

* * *

When they arrived home, Peter was walking out the front door. "I need to go in to the office, El. Something happened with one of the cases we're working on. I probably won't be home for several hours, so you two go ahead and eat dinner without me."

Neal looked excitedly at Peter. "Peter….I got my costume. Wanna see?"

"Not right now, Neal, okay? I need to get going." Saying a quick goodbye to Elizabeth and Neal, he didn't notice the sad look on Neal's face.

Once Peter had left, Elizabeth started dinner, deciding to do something quick and easy. She quickly made some chicken and dumplings, knowing that it was one of Neal's favorite meals. Once they were done eating and the kitchen was cleaned up, Elizabeth and Neal decided to play a board game. They were in the middle of a very intense game of Hungry, Hungry Hippo when Satchmo suddenly went to the back door and started growling. Elizabeth had never heard such a menacing growl come from their usually gentle dog, so she immediately grew suspicious.

Standing up, she quickly grabbed Neal by the shoulders and steered him over to the sofa. "Neal, I want you to stay here for a minute, okay?" she said, quietly.

Elizabeth could tell that Neal was scared by the way Satchmo was acting, but she couldn't comfort him at the moment. Grabbing the heavy duty flashlight that was on the lowest shelf of the bookcase, she walked over to the backdoor and peered through the curtain. She thought she saw a dark shape off to the right, but couldn't tell for sure. After suddenly turning on the backyard light, though, she caught a glimpse of a man running around the side of the house. With her heart pounding erratically in her chest, she quickly made sure the back door was locked, before going and checking the front door, as well.

Once she was satisfied that everything was locked up tightly, she grabbed the phone and dialed 911. While she was answering the operator's questions, she moved back to where Neal was and sat down next to him, pulling him into her lap. She could feel his little body trembling and knew that she was trembling herself. Satchmo had stopped growling, but he was pacing restlessly between the back door and the front door, his hackles still raised impressively.

After Elizabeth explained everything that was going on, the operator assured her that they would have a patrol car there shortly. She told Elizabeth to stay on the line, so Elizabeth grabbed her cell phone, knowing that she needed to call Peter, too. Unfortunately, Peter didn't answer the call, so she left a message telling him to come home right away. She tried to keep the panic out of her voice, but knew that she hadn't been successful, as she explained what had happened.

As they waited for the police to show up, Elizabeth held on to Neal, trying to get him to calm down. She talked with him about his upcoming party, even as she kept a close eye on Satchmo, who was still restless and agitated. Eventually, though, the dog came and sat by her feet, making her feel like whoever had been out there was truly gone.

Neal was looking a little less scared by the time the policemen showed up, thankfully. Two of the policemen came into the house to take Elizabeth's statement, while two other men looked around outside. While Elizabeth was talking to Officer Barton, Peter flew through the door with an immense sense of fear about him.

"Elizabeth? Are you okay? What happened?" Peter pulled Elizabeth into his arms and then reached down and picked up Neal. "Are you okay, buddy?"

"We're fine, Peter….really." Elizabeth tried to reassure her husband, but wasn't doing a very good job of even reassuring herself. After explaining the events to him, he went outside to see if the other officers had found anything. Fifteen minutes later, they returned and Elizabeth couldn't help but notice the strange look on her husband's face.

Peter started to say something, but Elizabeth quickly cut him off, as she looked at Neal. "Hey, sweetie, what do you say we go and get something to drink, okay? I'm a little thirsty." Peter tried to put Neal down, but the boy clung to him, not wanting to let go. Elizabeth gently pried him out of Peter's arms and Neal immediately clung to her instead.

Once Elizabeth and Neal were gone, Peter was able to talk in depth to the police about what they had found outside. The two officers that had been outside were talking with the neighbors to see if anyone noticed anything suspicious, but unfortunately, no one saw anything that might be of help in the investigation. Before they left, Officer Barton reassured Peter that they would have extra patrols in their neighborhood for a while. Peter wasn't completely satisfied with that plan, but he knew there wasn't much more that they could do.

Peter and Elizabeth spent the rest of the evening trying to keep Neal calm. They both sat by the bathtub as he played with his toys, and then they took Neal into their bedroom for the night. Peter thought that it would be better for Neal, but the truth was that both he and Elizabeth would feel better having him there, too. Peter was completely unsettled to think that some stranger had been so close to his family.

Eventually, after Peter had read three bedtime stories, Neal fell asleep. He hadn't been asleep for more than two minutes when Elizabeth started hounding Peter for information.

"Did you find anything outside, Peter? Did he leave anything behind?"

Peter took a deep breath before answering. "We found several cigarette butts and some footprints in the flower bed, El. There were also a few smudges on the kitchen window, as if he were trying to look in."

"Peter, who in the world could it have been? Are you working a case that might have led this man to us?"

"I don't think so, El. The cases we're working right now seem pretty benign. I can't think of anything that might have led up to this." Peter held his wife's hand tightly, wishing that he could cuddle up to her. With Neal in between them, that wasn't going to happen.

Elizabeth and Peter watched Neal sleeping for several minutes. He started to move around restlessly, but stopped when Elizabeth started rubbing his back gently and minutes later, he was sleeping soundly again.

Peter looked back at his wife. "You didn't notice anything strange while you were shopping, did you? No one was paying extra attention to you or Neal?"

"I didn't notice anything, but it was a little crazy at the mall. It was pretty packed for a Friday night."

They were both quiet for a long time, before Elizabeth spoke again. "Peter, you don't think this has something to do with Neal, do you?" she asked, worriedly.

"I don't know, hon, but I promise you, we'll figure it out, okay? Why don't we try to get some sleep? If I know this little guy, he'll be up at the crack of dawn." Peter leaned over Neal and kissed his wife goodnight.

* * *

Morning came much too early, but it was Peter that actually woke up first. He hadn't slept well at all, partly because Neal's feet were planted firmly in his back and partly because he couldn't stop thinking about the night's events.

Climbing quietly out of bed, he went downstairs and started a pot of coffee. As he waited for the coffee to brew, he sat down on the floor, near where Satchmo was laying.

"Hey, boy, you did a good job last night, protecting the family. Thank you." Satchmo looked up at Peter, his tail wagging frantically. Peter sat there for several long minutes, rubbing the dog's belly. He was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he didn't hear Neal come down the stairs, and it wasn't until he saw tiny little bare feet standing in front of him that he noticed.

"What are you doing on the floor, Peter? Do you need help up?" Neal asked, seriously.

"What makes you think I need help up, Neal?" Peter asked.

"Remember that commercial we saw, Peter? Where the grandma fell and couldn't get back up? She was old like you, remember?"

Peter grabbed Neal and started tickling him. "I am NOT old, little man! And I can get up without help, trust me."

Neal was giggling loudly at the tickling and started trying to get away. "Stop, Peter!" he cried. "Satchmo, help!"

Satchmo immediately jumped on Peter and started licking his face, not wanting to miss out on the fun. Neal took the opportunity to jump on Peter's back, too, and before Peter came to his senses, he was crawling around the kitchen floor on his hands and knees, giving Neal a pony ride.

Within minutes, Peter's back and knees were killing him and he tried to stop crawling. Neal, on the other hand, had a different idea and wouldn't climb off of his pony's back. Instead, he dug his heels into Peter's side, urging him on.

"Okay, kid, I think that's enough. My knees are hurting."

"Cowboy up, Peter!" Neal cried, as he dug his heels in again. Peter didn't look happy at having his own words used against him, but Neal thought it was funny. "That's what you always tell me, remember?"

* * *

Author's note: Uh-oh! Someone's been sneaking around the Burke residence and I doubt it's a vacuum salesman. I wonder who it could be… Thank God, Satchmo was there, right? The thought of someone spying on Elizabeth and Neal as they're playing a game is a little freaky.

Thanks for reading, everyone. I would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter.


	12. Breathe In, Breathe Out

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 12

* * *

The day of Neal's Halloween party was an exciting day for the little boy. He and Elizabeth had made three dozen cookies the night before and Neal couldn't wait to share them with his classmates. He was also really excited to wear his costume.

Elizabeth helped him get dressed that morning and as soon as he was dressed, he ran downstairs to show Peter his costume. Running into the dining room, Neal skidded to a halt in front of a tired looking Peter. "Here I am, Peter! Don't I look just like him?"

Peter eyed the little boy, taking in his shirt, tie, overcoat and fedora, before turning to look at his wife. "Is this a joke?" he asked her. "He looks like Frank Sinatra."

Elizabeth laughed, as Neal glared at Peter. "I am _not _Frank Sinatra, Peter," he said, indignantly. "I'm Dean Martin!"

It was Peter's turn to laugh at that. "Oops, sorry, Dino….." Turning again to Elizabeth, Peter whispered a serious question. "_Was this his idea? Really?_"

Elizabeth nodded. "Neal wanted to be something different from all the other kids, Peter. Apparently, he watched a few Rat Pack movies on those nights he snuck downstairs.

"Do you like it, Peter? Isn't my hat cool?" Neal took his fedora off, and thrust it into Peter's face. "I'd let you wear it, but Lizbef said I couldn't share hats with anyone. I don't think you'd look good in it, anyway, Peter. Lizbef said it made me look sophissicated and swab, but I think it would look silly on you."

"Oh, you don't think that I can pull off sophisticated and suave?" Peter asked.

"Definitely not with that tie, hon," El laughed. "Maybe you need to take some fashion advice from Little Dino."

* * *

Once they were at school, Neal and Elizabeth found themselves surrounded by superheroes, princesses and cartoon characters. Neal walked proudly into the school, causing all the kids to look at him in confusion and most of the adults to ooh and aah over him.

Walking into his classroom, Neal ran over to where Leah was, anxious to introduce her to Elizabeth. "Leah! This is my Lizbef. She's the one that makes the yummy cookies."

Elizabeth looked down at the small girl, who was wearing a cat costume. "Hi, Leah….I've heard all about you from Neal."

Elizabeth and Leah talked for a few minutes, while Neal stood next to them with a huge grin. Finally, Mr. Parker asked all the children to take their seats and all of the parent helpers to wait in the back while he took attendance. The day was to be a half-day, with an assembly planned for that morning, followed by the class parties. Neal was excited that Elizabeth had taken the day off and was going to spend the morning with him.

The class worked on several small projects, before being called into the gymnasium for the assembly. They were all happy to find out that they were going to watch a play that was being put on by one of the local high school drama clubs. Neal was excited to hear that there was to be a costume contest, too, and as they sat and watched the play, the teachers would be looking at all the different costumes. Every time he saw a teacher walk by, Neal sat up straight in his seat and made sure that his fedora was tilted just right over his forehead.

Once the play was over, they all sat in anticipation of who would win the costume contest. Finally, Mrs. Corbin walked out in front of the assembly to announce the winners. Elizabeth watched as Neal's face would light up and then inevitably fall at each announcement. Best superhero….. Best animal costume….. Best cartoon character… Most creative….. Each time the winner was announced, Neal would sink farther into his chair, clapping his hands quietly as the winner walked out to receive his ribbon.

Finally, there was only one category left and Elizabeth was just as hopeful and nervous as Neal was, as she waited to hear who won the coveted Teacher's Choice award. She took out her camera and readied it, just in case he actually won, and to her great relief, Principal Corbin announced that the Teacher's Choice award went to Neal Caffrey. Elizabeth took picture after picture of Neal's smiling face, as he scrambled out of his seat to get his ribbon. Everyone laughed when the fedora fell off his head halfway there and he had to rush back to get it. Eventually, he made his way to the front and Elizabeth was sure that everyone in the assembly had to be blinded by the dazzling smile on his face.

* * *

The rest of the day was a rousing success, as well. Elizabeth's cookies were a huge hit amongst the kids and Neal made sure that everyone knew who brought them. At the very end of the day, Mr. Parker held a small spelling bee, which Neal won easily, before announcing that they would be going on a field trip the next day to the Brooklyn Children's Museum. Neal loved museums and was excited to hear the announcement.

As they left the school, Neal talked non-stop about the events of the morning. Not wanting the good day to end, Elizabeth decided that they would surprise Peter at the White Collar office and have lunch with him. They stopped at Peter's favorite deli and picked up several sandwiches and drinks. Once they arrived at the FBI building, Neal insisted on carrying the bag of food himself.

Entering through the glass doors, Elizabeth immediately looked up to the office her husband occupied. Not seeing him there, she looked around until she finally found Diana. "Diana, can you tell me where Peter is? We brought him lunch."

Diana came over to talk to Elizabeth, her eyes moving down to the little boy at her side. "He should be back any minute, Elizabeth. So, this must be Neal." Diana bent down to Neal, offering her hand to shake, as she introduced herself. "Hi, Neal….I'm Diana and I work with your….um, with Peter."

Neal smiled up at Diana, as he shifted the bag of sandwiches around, so he could shake her hand. "Hi, Diana…..Guess what?"

Diana listened patiently as Neal told her everything about his morning. Elizabeth mouthed her apologies over Neal's head, as the boy chattered non-stop about the play, the costume contest, the spelling bee, Elizabeth's cookies and his upcoming field trip. By the time he was done, Diana couldn't help but laugh at the thought of what life was like at the Burke house. She now truly understood why her boss was looking so tired.

When Peter walked through the glass doors, Elizabeth and Diana laughed as Neal repeated everything he had just said to Diana, causing Peter to look like he was getting a headache. Neal never stopped talking as Peter led them upstairs to his office. He could see that everyone in the bullpen was watching and laughing, and he silently vowed to get them all back somehow.

* * *

Neal refused to take off his costume once they got home and it wasn't until Elizabeth reminded him that he would get to wear it again the next night when they went trick-or-treating that he finally agreed. The rest of the evening was filled with more exciting chatter, as Neal talked all about the field trip the next day. When it was finally time for bed, the poor boy didn't even argue, obviously exhausted from the amazing day he had had. For the first time in a while, he was asleep before Peter had even finished the story he was reading.

The next morning, Neal insisted on wearing a shirt and tie for his trip to the museum. He had begun to wear more casual clothes to school, after realizing that it was harder to play games at recess when he was wearing dressy clothes, but he wanted to look his best at the museum. He begged and begged Elizabeth to let him wear his fedora, but she told him no.

"Please, Lizbef! I promise I'll take good care of it. Please?"

"No, Neal. You're going to be busy at the museum with all of the activities and you don't need to worry about keeping up with your hat, okay?"

Neal stomped his foot in frustration. "That's not fair, Lizbef. I want to wear my hat!"

"Neal George Caffrey, don't you dare stomp your foot at me. I said no and I mean no, young man. And, the next time you stomp your foot like that you'll be spending some time in the time-out chair."

Neal looked like he wanted to stomp his foot again, but he stopped himself just in time. Sitting in that time-out chair was absolutely miserable for a child that rarely stopped moving and he had no desire to put himself through that again.

By the time he and Elizabeth arrived at the school, Neal was in a better mood. Elizabeth helped him out of the car, and then knelt in front of him to say goodbye. "Neal, I want you to promise me that you won't wander away from your class, okay? The museum is a huge place and I don't want you to get lost there. Behave yourself and do what your teacher says. Can you do that for me, sweetie?"

"I wouldn't get lost, Lizbef, but I promise I won't wander away. Mr. Parker said that if we did that we wouldn't get to go on the next field trip."

Elizabeth pulled Neal into a hug, breathing in the sweet smell of shampoo and maple syrup. "Be safe and be good."

Neal squeezed Elizabeth extra hard, before moving his little hands to her face. "You, too, Lizbef," he said, seriously.

* * *

Elizabeth found it hard to concentrate on work throughout the day. She wasn't sure why, but she had a strange feeling of unease at the idea of Neal being in a museum where anything could happen. She knew she was being paranoid, but after having a man prowling around her house, she figured she was entitled to feel that way. No matter how busy she tried to keep herself, her mind kept jumping to all the 'what ifs' of what could happen. She wouldn't be able to truly breathe until she knew that Neal was safe.

As she arrived to pick Neal up at school, she was surprised to find Neal standing with a frazzled looking Mr. Parker and Mrs. Corbin. Usually, he would be standing with the other children, waiting to be released once their parents arrived. As she looked around, she couldn't help but notice that there were more adults than normal milling around, and that some of the children were crying. She also noticed that Neal looked a little shaken and pale, causing her to feel the faint stirrings of panic settle in her bones.

Walking up to the three of them, Elizabeth looked first at Neal, before bringing her attention to the two adults. "Is everything okay?" she asked.

Mrs. Corbin looked rather serious, making Elizabeth even more nervous. "Mrs. Burke, I need to talk to you about something that happened when Mr. Parker's class returned from the museum. If it's okay with you, Tom will take Neal to get a snack while we talk."

Elizabeth agreed to this, gave Neal a quick hug and followed the principal into her office. "Did Neal get into trouble, Mrs. Corbin?" she asked, as soon as they sat down, thinking he must have done something particularly frustrating to make his teacher look so frazzled.

"No, not at all. Neal behaved himself very well, today, Mrs. Burke."

Elizabeth looked relieved at that, but was even more confused and nervous. Mrs. Corbin looked nervous, as well. "Mrs. Burke, there was an incident a few minutes ago that has us all a little shaken up. If it hadn't been for the quick thinking of Mr. Parker, I'm not sure what would have happened."

Elizabeth listened as Mrs. Corbin explained what had happened, terror filling her heart and soul.

"There was an abandoned, broken down car blocking the driveway that the bus normally takes to the school, so the driver had to take a detour. This detour meant that the students had to be dropped off on the back side of the school. Mr. Parker telephoned ahead to tell us of the situation and I gave the okay for the change in the drop-off point. I gathered up a few of the teacher's aides and we went out to meet the bus, wanting to make sure that everything was okay. As we walked out the side door and headed to the bus, which was on the other side of the soccer field, I saw a man standing off to the side. At first, I thought that he was just someone out for a walk, but as I watched him, I realized that he was watching the kids get off the bus, even as he walked closer and closer."

"I don't know why, but I had a bad feeling about the man. I tried to call to Mr. Parker, but he was still too far away to hear me, and was trying to keep the kids in control. There were several parent chaperones on the bus, too, but none of them saw what was happening. As we ran toward the bus, the man suddenly ran forward, calling out Neal's name. I watched as Neal stopped walking and turned toward the man. By this time, thankfully, everyone realized that the man was there, even if they didn't really know what was going on. Mrs. Burke, the man called out Neal's name and walked right up to him. I could tell that the man was preparing to grab Neal, and fortunately, Mr. Parker realized it, too. He ran over to Neal, picked the boy up, and handed him to one of the chaperones, before turning back to the man and confronting him. The man didn't seem to want to give up that easily, but Mr. Parker shoved him away, making sure that the chaperone had time to get Neal away. After that, Mr. Parker tackled the man to the ground. They wrestled around for several seconds, but then the man was able to get up and run away. Mr. Parker and Ed, the bus driver, ran after him, but he got away."

Elizabeth listened in shock at what had happened. Before she could say anything, Mrs. Corbin continued. "The police have been called and should be here any minute. I told them which way the man ran, so they're sending patrol cars to search that area. Mrs. Burke, do you have any idea who the man could be?"

Without answering her, Elizabeth grabbed her cell phone and quickly called Peter, who, of course, didn't answer his phone. She then quickly called Diana, telling her a little of what happened. Diana promised to track down Peter and send him over right away. Once that was done, Elizabeth turned to Mrs. Corbin. "I need to see Neal, Mrs. Corbin."

Without hesitation, Mrs. Corbin used her intercom to call the teacher's break room, asking Mr. Parker to bring Neal back. When the door opened, Elizabeth stood up and rushed to Neal, noticing once again how shaken and pale he looked. She scooped him up into her arms, crushing him to her chest. "Neal, are you okay?"

"I can't breathe, Lizbef," he groaned. "You're holding all my breath in again."

Elizabeth loosened her grip, but didn't put him down. She couldn't stop the tears that cascaded down her face or the trembling she felt throughout her body.

"Don't cry, Lizbef. I'm okay now, see?" With that, Neal took in a deep breath and let it out, making sure that Elizabeth knew he was breathing just fine. Elizabeth smiled at that and hugged him close again.

"You're doing it again, Lizbef," Neal gasped.

Finally, Elizabeth sat down in a chair, feeling like her legs weren't going to support her for too much longer. She still held on to Neal firmly, not wanting to ever let him go again.

* * *

By the time the police arrived, which was only a few minutes later, Neal had fallen asleep against Elizabeth's chest. Elizabeth had spent the last several minutes thanking Mr. Parker with everything she had in her for saving Neal. She could tell that the young teacher was still pretty shaken by what had happened, too.

After listening to the events again, as Mr. Parker and Mrs. Corbin explained it to the police, Elizabeth felt her anxiety increase. _Where was Peter? _The second that thought entered her head, she heard her husband's voice outside the office, identifying himself to one of the police officers. Seconds later, he walked through the door, immediately zoning in on his wife and foster child.

"Is he okay?" he asked, immediately.

"He's okay, Peter, thanks to Mr. Parker. He just fell asleep a few minutes ago, but he's okay."

Peter wanted to grab Neal and check him out himself, but he didn't. Instead, he bent down and placed a kiss on Neal's forehead, before doing the same to his wife. After that, he sat down and listened as the story was told again for his benefit. He definitely owed Neal's teacher a debt of gratitude.

* * *

Eventually, they came to a point in the questioning where they needed to know if Neal knew the man that had tried to take him. From the description Mr. Parker offered, Elizabeth felt that it could have been the same man that had been prowling around their house a few nights ago, but she really hadn't been able to see him clearly enough to say for sure.

Elizabeth gently shook Neal and they all waited for the little boy to wake up enough to answer some questions. It took Neal almost a minute to get his eyes to completely open, evidently still rather sleepy. Once he noticed that Peter was there, he climbed down from Elizabeth's lap and into Peter's, obviously happy to see the man.

They had decided before waking the boy that Peter would be the one to question him, thinking that Neal would feel less scared that way. Peter wasted no time, wanting answers as soon as possible.

"Neal, Mr. Parker told me what happened when you got off the bus. Do you know that man that called your name?"

"No, Peter. I don't know him."

"Have you ever seen him before, Neal?" Peter figured that was a long shot, but knew he should ask anyway. He was surprised at Neal's answer.

"I saw him at the museum today, Peter. He tried to talk to me, but Abby's mom got mad when I started talking, so I stopped."

"Do you remember what he said to you, Neal?" Peter asked.

"He asked me if I could show him where the bathroom was. He said he was lost and that I looked like I knew where I was going. I told him that I was five and that I didn't get lost, but before I could tell him where the bathroom was, I got in trouble."

"What happened after that, Neal? Did he leave?"

"Nope. He followed us around the museum. When we passed the bathroom, I pointed it out to him, but he didn't go."

By this time, every adult in the room had a look of horror on their face, realizing the extent of what could have happened to Neal. Peter wanted nothing more than to take Neal home and lock him up, never letting him out of his sight again. Elizabeth felt the same way.

"Neal, did he talk to you again after that?" Peter was terrified to hear Neal's answer.

Neal looked like he was thinking hard, his forehead creased and his nose scrunched up. "He told me that my shoe was untied and that he could tie it for me, but I told him that I knew how to tie my shoe. Abby's mom got mad at me again, because I stopped to tie my shoe. She said I was dawding….um, dawdling too much." Neal wrinkled up his nose at that word, making Elizabeth wonder if he remembered Jenna telling him the same thing all those months ago.

Peter felt like he could kiss Abby's mom for keeping such a close eye on Neal. "When was the last time you saw him, Neal?"

"When we got on the bus. He was standing by the door and he waved at me when we left. He said he would see me later." Neal looked up at Peter, a big yawn escaping him. "Peter, can we go home? I'm hungry and it's almost time to go trick-or-treating. If we wait too long, all the good candy will be gone and I'll be stuck with the candy that nobody ever eats."

* * *

Author's note: Who is the world is that creepy man? Any ideas? That's okay….I don't have any idea, either, lol. Stay tuned for more fedora wearing, nose scrunching, foot stomping, cute as can be Neal. Thanks for reading and just so you know…reviews are much appreciated and cherished.


	13. Days Like These

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 13

* * *

Peter knew he would have a fight on his hands when he told Neal he couldn't go trick-or-treating. He just didn't know how much of a fight it would be. Or that by the end of it all, he would have a massive headache, Neal would have to spend twenty minutes in the time-out chair, and Elizabeth would have been mad at him.

The minute they walked through the door, Neal ran up the stairs to put on his costume. Peter looked quickly at Elizabeth before calling out to Neal. "Neal, wait a minute, bud. I need to talk to you."

Neal stopped at the top of the stairs and looked back at Peter, impatiently. "Not now, Peter. Remember what I said about the candy?"

"Neal, we're not going trick-or-treating. We're staying home tonight. You've had a rough day."

Elizabeth looked at Peter, confusion covering her face. "Peter, I think it would be good to have something to take our minds off of everything."

"We don't know who that guy is, El, or where he is. I'd rather keep Neal in the house."

Elizabeth looked up and noticed that Neal had gone up to his room. "Honey, Neal's going to be heart-broken. Can't we just go out for a little while? Just the houses on this street?"

"I don't think it's a good idea, El. And Neal will be upset, but he'll survive."

By this time, Neal had come back downstairs, fully dressed in his costume, his fedora pulled down over his right eye. "Okay, I'm ready! Let's go!"

Peter frowned at the little boy, as he rubbed his temple. He was getting a massive headache. "We're not going, Neal. We're staying in tonight."

"Why aren't we going, Peter? Lizbef said we could go."

"That was before everything happened today, buddy. I've decided that we're just going to stay in tonight."

"I wanna go trick-or-treating, Peter," Neal whined. "I've been waiting for forever."

"I'm sorry, bud, but you're going to have to cowboy up." Peter could tell that Neal was upset, but he stood his ground.

"I don't wanna cowboy up, Peter," Neal cried. "That's stupid! I wanna go trick-or-treating!" With this, Neal stomped his foot, forgetting what Elizabeth had said just that morning. Peter and Elizabeth looked on in surprise as Neal threw his first tantrum.

After a few seconds, Peter spoke up again. "Neal, I know you're upset, but you need to calm down." Neal continued to stomp his foot, not caring that he had scared Satchmo off. "Neal!"

When he still continued with his tantrum, Peter picked him up and carried him over to the chair they had used before as the time-out chair. Neal noticed what was going on and started kicking his legs, trying to get out of Peter's grasp, but unfortunately Peter just held on tighter. Once he had the chair situated in the corner, he sat Neal down in it, only to have the boy jump up and try to run away.

Peter caught him, before he got too far, and plopped him back into the chair. "Neal, you better stay there, little man! You need to calm yourself down."

By this time, Neal was crying out his frustration with what had ended up being a really terrible day. "I don't want to sit in this stupid chair, Peter," he cried. "I hate this chair!"

Peter looked at Elizabeth, feeling like he was messing everything up. He wasn't surprised to see that she still didn't look too happy with him. He was about to say something to her when Neal started kicking the legs of the chair angrily. "I don't want to be in time-out! It's stupid! I hate time-out, Peter!"

Peter walked over to Neal and gently put his hands on the boy's knees. "Neal, stop kicking the chair and listen to me. I know you don't like time-out, but you need to calm down. You wouldn't have to be in time-out if you hadn't thrown a tantrum. So, now you'll sit there until you can calm down, okay?"

Neal cried even harder at that. "I'll be here forever, Peter, cuz I can't calm down! My angriness won't let me!"

Elizabeth walked over to Neal and knelt down by his side. "Sweetie, we know you're upset, and I'm sorry you can't go trick-or-treating tonight. But, remember what I said this morning about stomping your feet like that? That was being disrespectful to Peter."

Neal looked up at Elizabeth, huge tears falling from his big blue eyes. "I wanna go trick-or-treating, Lizbef. Please?"

"I'm sorry, Neal," she answered. "But, Peter's right. We're just going to stay in tonight."

Neal burst into a fresh set of tears and renewed his efforts in kicking the chair legs. "It's not fair, Lizbef. Peter's just being mean and I hate him!"

Peter couldn't believe how much those words hurt, even though he knew that Neal just said them in frustration. He could remember saying the same thing to his dad a few times, usually right after he had been punished for something, and he wished that he could take them back, knowing now how much it must have hurt him. He would just have to call his dad soon and apologize. Better late, than never, right?

Elizabeth was shocked at what Neal had said, and really didn't know what to say. She could tell by the look on Neal's face that he was a little shocked to have said those words, as well. "Neal, I want you to sit there until I tell you to get up, do you understand? And I want you to think about why Peter and I thought you needed a time-out."

With that, Elizabeth took Peter by the hand and walked into the kitchen, leaving a still crying little boy sitting in the corner.

* * *

Once they were in the kitchen, Elizabeth turned to Peter. "Oh, hon…..I'm sorry he said that."

Peter pulled Elizabeth into his arms. "It's okay, El, really. I know he's just upset. I can remember saying the same thing to my dad after he'd spanked me for something. It comes with the territory of being a father, I guess. And I'd rather have him mad at me, than to give in to him and have something bad happen."

The two of them stood in the kitchen, talking for several minutes about everything that had happened that day. They both were terrified at how close they had come to losing Neal and at not knowing who the man was or what he wanted with Neal.

Eventually, they walked back out to the dining room, finding a much calmer Neal, staring at the wall. Peter and Elizabeth both went into the living room, deciding to let the boy stay in time-out for a little longer. Finally, Elizabeth called to Neal and the boy slowly stood up and walked over to the sofa.

Once he was there, he looked up at Peter and then, without a word, flung himself at the man, burying his face into his chest. Peter was taken by surprise by this and not knowing what else to do, he put his arms around the small body. After several long minutes, Neal pushed himself away from Peter's chest and looked up at him. "Peter? I didn't mean it. I don't hate you. Not even a little bit, okay? That was my angriness talking." Before Peter could say anything, Neal placed his hands on the sides of Peter's face and looked into his eyes. "I love you, Peter! Even if you won't let me go trick-or-treating."

Peter felt tears fill his eyes at these words, and at the way Neal was looking at him so seriously. He placed his large hands on the sides of Neal's little face and looked into his impossibly blue eyes. "I love you, too, little man!"

* * *

The rest of the evening was spent in awkward togetherness. Neal was still upset that he couldn't go trick-or-treating, but he had resigned himself to the fact, as he sat down on the floor and colored in his favorite coloring book. Peter tried to watch a game on the television, but he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. He had talked with NYPD earlier, but they didn't have any leads on who the man was that had tried to snatch Neal. Elizabeth spent an hour taking a bath, trying to take her mind off of everything, as well.

When it was finally time to put Neal to bed, Peter and Elizabeth were relieved. Neal was tired, so he fell asleep as soon as Peter was done reading his story, allowing the two of them to finally talk over the events of the day, before falling into a fitful sleep themselves.

* * *

Neither of the Burkes was surprised when they woke up to screams coming from Neal's room. They weren't surprised, either, that his dreams were obviously of the man at the museum. In the beginning, Neal hadn't realized that the man meant him any harm, but after listening to everyone talking about it and answering Peter's questions, he began to realize the truth of the matter.

"Peter! Don't let him take me! Peter!" Neal's cries were like a knife in Peter's heart. Rushing to his bed, Peter grabbed Neal and tried to wake the boy up.

"Hey, little man…..it's okay. I'm right here and you're safe, okay? Wake up, buddy."

Neal woke up and looked wildly around him, finally resting his eyes on the man that was holding him. "It's okay, buddy. You're safe." Peter said again, as he rubbed Neal's back. "It was just a bad dream."

"I don't like bad dreams," Neal sobbed. "Why do I have to have them?"

"I don't know, bud, but it's okay, now. Elizabeth and I are both here now. How about if we read a story?"

Neal looked seriously at Peter, before jumping out of his arms and running to his bookcase. He grabbed two books and then ran back to Peter. "Okay, Peter, but I think I need more than one to make my brain stop thinking."

* * *

The next morning, Peter and Elizabeth decided to keep Neal home from school. Neal wasn't happy about not being able to see Leah, but he was excited to spend the day with Elizabeth. He was even more excited when he found out that he would have to spend a few hours with Peter, because Elizabeth had a small event to take care of.

After spending the morning at Elizabeth's office, Neal spent the afternoon at the White Collar division. Peter had planned on taking the afternoon off, but something had happened in one of the cases they were currently working, and he needed to stay in the office. Once Neal arrived, Peter set up a little play area in the corner of his office, hoping that Neal would behave himself for a while.

Looking back on the day, Peter realized that he might have been expecting a little too much from the five year old. In his defense, Neal had tried his best to behave, but it just didn't work. He quickly became bored with his bag of toys that Elizabeth had packed for him, and Peter quickly learned that a bored Neal was a handful.

"Peter? Can we go ride the elevator?" Ever since riding up the elevator the first time, Neal was obsessed with it. He had talked Elizabeth into letting him ride it all the way to the top of the building when they first got there, but he couldn't seem to convince Peter to do it.

"Not now, Neal. I have work to do, okay? I need you to behave and keep yourself busy for a little while. I'll be right next door, if you need anything."

Peter left Neal in the corner of his office as he went into the conference room for a meeting with his team. Before he left, he told Neal to behave again, but didn't really think that the kid could get into too much trouble. After all, he was right next door and they were in the FBI building. As Peter was leaving, Neal tried to tell him that he needed to use the bathroom, but Peter had been interrupted by a phone call. Giving Neal a quick look, Peter walked out of his office and entered the conference room.

Neal waited for what seemed like hours for Peter to return. He waited as long as he could, but finally his need for the bathroom became too much. Walking out of Peter's office, Neal looked around, searching for the nearest bathroom. Everyone around him was running around and talking on phones, obviously dealing with something important.

On his way back from the bathroom, Neal's eyes moved over to the elevators, forgetting that he was supposed to be behaving himself. He looked at the conference room, seeing Peter standing at the head of the conference room table, talking to his team. Peter's back was to the rest of the office, so he couldn't see Neal walk out of the office door and get onto the elevator. Neal knew that he shouldn't leave the office, but he just wanted a quick ride. He planned on taking the elevator to the top floor and then return to the White Collar unit. Unfortunately for Neal, once he reached the top of the building, he realized that he didn't remember what floor the White Collar unit was on.

His ascent in the elevator had been uninterrupted, but fortunately, on the way down, the elevator stopped at the very next floor, allowing a young man to enter. He was surprised to see the little boy on the elevator by himself. "Hello, there….What are you doing riding the elevator all by yourself? Are you lost?"

Neal looked up at the man, trying to decide if he should answer him. Just that morning, Elizabeth and Peter had told him not to ever talk to strangers. Neal really didn't like that idea, because he liked to talk to everyone, but they told him that he couldn't always trust people, that some people weren't nice. He decided that he shouldn't talk to the man, and decided that he should listen to what Peter and Elizabeth had told him. Moving into the corner of the elevator, Neal looked down at his feet.

"Hey, you don't have to be afraid, kid. You're in the FBI building. We're all here to help people."

Neal looked up at the man. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

"That's a good rule to live by, but the way I see it is if we introduce ourselves, we won't be strangers anymore, right?"

Before Neal could answer, the man stuck out his hand. "My name is Agent Rob Davidson and I work for the FBI Evidence Recovery Unit.

Neal stuck his small hand out and shook Agent Davidson's hand. "I'm Neal George Caffrey and I'm five. Sometimes I'm the classroom helper at school."

"Well, Neal George Caffrey….now that we're not strangers anymore, maybe you can tell me why you're here by yourself."

"I just wanted to ride the elevators, Agent Rob. Peter said I couldn't, but I was bored. I like to ride the elevator."

"So, Peter doesn't know where you are?"

Neal frowned at the question. "He said he had work to do and he told me to keep myself busy."

Agent Davidson couldn't help but smile at Neal. "I bet he didn't mean for you to go off and ride the elevators by yourself, did he?" When Neal didn't answer, Agent Davidson continued. "Why don't we get you back to your Peter, Neal?"

Neal's eyes filled with tears. "I don't remember how to get back to him, Agent Rob. I'm almost lost!"

"It's okay, Neal. I'll get you back to Peter."

* * *

Peter finished the meeting and returned to his office, eager to check on Neal. He fully expected the boy to be bent over his sketchpad, drawing pictures like usual, but instead, he found an empty office. Heading out of his office, he looked around the White Collar unit, expecting to see Neal bugging some poor junior agent., talking a mile a minute. When he didn't see him anywhere, he quickly walked to the bathrooms, hoping against all hope that the little imp was there. Not finding him there, either, sent Peter into the beginning of a panic.

He quickly rounded up Diana and Jones, filling them in on the fact that Neal was gone. They immediately set out asking all of the agents if they knew anything about where Neal had gone, but no one seemed to know anything.

Peter made a phone call that would put the full FBI building on alert, but before the message could make it to everyone, the elevator doors opened to reveal a young agent and a very relieved looking Neal.

"This is it, Agent Rob! We found it!" Before Neal could say anything else, Peter walked through the glass door, stopping in front of the two.

"Neal George Caffrey! Where have you been? Why did you leave the office? I told you to stay put!"

"No, you didn't, Peter. You told me to behave and keep myself busy. I just wanted to ride the elevators."

"Young man, you know that I meant for you to stay in my office. You know I wouldn't have let you ride the elevators by yourself! What were you thinking?!"

"I'm five, Peter. I can ride elevators by myself and I was trying to keep myself busy, like you told me to."

Peter looked angrier than Neal had ever seen him. "Neal, go up to my office and pack up your stuff. We're going home!"

Neal started to argue, but Peter pointed up the stairs. "Now, Neal!"

Once the little boy was gone, Peter turned to talk to Agent Davidson, wondering how he fit into the story. After getting his part of the story, Peter thanked the young man, before heading back up to his office to face Neal.

Entering his office, he noticed Neal frantically putting everything Elizabeth had packed for him back into his backpack. "Do you have everything?" Peter growled, causing Neal to jump.

"I think so, Peter." Neal made a show of looking carefully around to make sure he didn't leave anything behind. He seemed to be doing everything he could to not have to look Peter in the eye.

"Let's go, then," Peter said, angrily. He knew that everyone in the White Collar unit was watching this event play out and he tried not to lose his cool. They had all been witness to this side of Peter Burke, though, and could tell that he was really angry. Every single White Collar agent felt sorry for the poor kid that was responsible for Peter's bad mood.

* * *

The drive home was made in silence, which happened to be a first for Neal. Usually, anytime he was in a car, he became a veritable chatterbox, knowing that he had a captive audience. This time, he kept quiet, even as he continually looked sideways to check out Peter's face. He could see a vein sticking out in Peter's temple and he noticed how hard Peter was gripping the steering wheel. These particular signs, along with the way the man was clenching his teeth, told Neal exactly how angry Peter was with his little adventure.

By the time they arrived home, Peter's knuckles were white and his face was a strange shade of reddish-purple. He hadn't said a single word the entire trip home and neither had Neal. Once they were in the house, Peter immediately sent Neal to sit in the time-out chair and Neal immediately did as he was told. He wasn't about to make Peter any madder at him than he already was.

While Neal was sitting in the corner, Peter went into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of orange juice. He desperately wanted a beer, but figured he had better wait a while before he did that. It was only three in the afternoon, so it was still a little early for a beer.

As he stood at the kitchen counter, drinking his juice, he tried to figure out how he was going to deal with Neal's misbehavior. This was the second time the boy had walked off on his own and Peter knew that he needed to find some way to make Neal understand that this was unacceptable. Taking out his cell phone, he did the only thing he could think of….He called his father.

* * *

Authors note: A bored Neal is definitely not a good thing, right? Especially when he tends to wander and there's a strange man trying to get to him. I imagine Peter is pretty upset with the little guy, so it's a good thing he can ask his father for advice.

Thanks for reading, ya'll. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I would love to hear your thoughts on everything that's happened; of if there's anything you want to see. Take care!


	14. What He Deserves

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 14

* * *

Richard Burke was a self-professed, die-hard, play hard or go home kind of guy, who had raised three rowdy boys in much the same manner. He had worked hard all of his life to provide for his wife and sons, often working his fingers to the bone to put dinner on the table. He lived his life by the age-old philosophy that if you're going to do something, you should do it right.

To say that he set high expectations for his sons would be a complete understatement. All three of his boys knew what was expected of them and they knew exactly what to expect if they got out of line. They knew that their father expected them to be men of integrity and honor and they all endeavored to be those men.

That's not to say that they always lived up to his expectations. In fact, there were many times that one or all of them fell mightily short in their father's eyes. They were, after all, young boys who were bound to make bad decisions every now and then. Richard Burke, however, understood that mistakes would be made and bad decisions would sometimes come about. He didn't expect his boys to be perfect, but he did expect them to understand that every action has a consequence. And he expected them to always accept those consequences with honor and integrity.

Richard Burke was definitely the disciplinarian of the Burke family, although Nan could hold her own, if she had to. The most dreaded phrase of the Burke family was the infamous "Wait until your father gets home" which was usually shouted out by an extremely frustrated Nancy Burke, whenever one of her sons had pushed her to the limit. When this happened, the guilty party knew they were in for it and would spend the next however long listening for their father to get home and dreading the sound of his footsteps on the stairs.

Being lectured by their father and seeing the disappointment on his face was almost as bad as hearing him announce that they were in for a spanking. Almost… As an adult, Peter realized that the disappointment was actually way worse, but you definitely couldn't have convinced him of that as a child. His father definitely had a hard hand!

Despite the many times he had found himself over his father's knees, always for a good reason, Peter loved his father immensely. He respected his father more than any other man on the planet and for this reason, he often sought out his advice, whether it was financial, marital, or anything else he needed help with. Peter had often listened as his brothers asked their father for parenting advice, but he had obviously never had that need. Until now.

Peter and Elizabeth had, of course, told both of their families about Neal, and they had decided to let the little boy settle in before they all eagerly pounced on him. Both sets of parents were dying to meet their new foster-grandchild, after thinking for so long that Peter and Elizabeth wouldn't ever be parents. Peter had talked with his father on several occasions regarding Neal and had taken his advice to heart. He was a little more hesitant this time, though, knowing that his father might lean toward dealing with Neal's behavior in the same way he had dealt with Peter's repeated mistakes. Peter wasn't sure if he could dole out that type of punishment, especially knowing that Neal would be looking at him with those big blue eyes.

When Richard Burke answered his phone, a feeling of peace immediately settled over Peter. There was something about his dad's voice that had that effect on him and he wondered to himself why he always waited so long to call him.

"Dad? It's Peter. Yeah, everything's fine, dad. I just….um….I just needed some advice."

Richard listened as Peter told him everything that had happened in the last few days, including Neal's little adventure on the elevators. After he assured his father that they were doing everything they could to find the man stalking Neal, he was surprised to hear his father's deep laugh.

"Are you laughing, dad? Do you have any idea how frustrated I am that Neal keeps running off?"

Richard stopped laughing. "I'm sorry, son," he said. "It's just…. I remember telling you when you were little, after you had wandered off yet again, that I would laugh when one day your son would be ten times worse than you. I guess I was right, wasn't I?"

Peter couldn't help but laugh at that, either, really. He could remember how frustrated his mother and father would get when they took their eyes off of him for two seconds and he would disappear. Of course, the world was a little safer back then, and there definitely wasn't anyone stalking him.

"Dad, I don't know what I'm doing with him and he deserves better. I don't think I'm ready to be a father."

"Peter, listen to me for a minute, son. What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Do you have any idea how many times I felt like I didn't know what I was doing with you boys? Almost continually, son. I was always second-guessing myself, always wondering if I should have done something differently. And do you know why? Because I loved you three so much and I only wanted the best for you. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but you love that little boy, right? As if he were your own flesh and blood, right? That's what he deserves, Peter. _You_ _and Elizabeth_ are what he deserves. You're going to make mistakes, I can promise you that, but as long as he knows you love him, everything will be okay. I promise!"

Peter took a deep breath, trying to calm himself a little. "I _do_ love him, dad. And I'm terrified that something is going to happen that's going to take him away from us. Every day, I expect to hear that someone in his family has come forward to claim him. Every time my phone rings, I expect it to be CPS telling me they're sending someone to get him. Now, there's some stranger stalking him. I feel like I'm in way over my head and I can't even get the kid to understand that he can't just wander off like he does." By this time, Peter's voice was shaking, his frustration and fear completely obvious.

"Settle down, Peter. Take a deep breath, okay? Take several deep breaths. No one said being a father was easy, especially when it seems _your_ little one is awfully precocious and adventurous. I can tell you have your hands full with him, son, but you have to find a way to make him understand that this behavior is unacceptable. I can't tell you how to do that, though. You're going to have to figure out what works best for this particular boy yourself. Talk it over with Elizabeth, too. Make sure you're both on the same page, as far as disciplining the little scamp. And then, always be consistent. Always send a clear message when he misbehaves. Make sure he knows what's expected of him and what happens if he misbehaves. That way, there will never be any confusion for the boy. Or for you."

Peter was feeling much better, even though he still didn't know exactly how to deal with Neal. Before he could say goodbye, Richard Burke continued. "Peter, I know that taking Neal in was sort of a spur of the moment decision, but have you and Elizabeth put much thought into what your future plan is? It's been several months since Neal came to stay with you. Are you looking to make it a permanent thing?"

"Things have been so chaotic lately, dad, that we've only talked about it a few times. I know that El wants to make it permanent, that she wanted to make it permanent from the very beginning. I've been a little more cautious, but lately I've been feeling the same way. We have an appointment with an adoption lawyer next week to talk over the possibility."

"Congratulations, son. Your mother and I couldn't be happier for you. And she's telling me to tell you that we can't wait to meet Neal. Let us know when you're ready for a visit, okay?"

After a few more words between them, Peter finally hung up the phone, feeling a hundred times better, but still unprepared to face the five year old sitting in his dining room corner.

* * *

Neal knew that he shouldn't have left Peter's office to ride the elevator. Even though Peter didn't specifically tell him to stay in the office, he knew that the man wouldn't have let him go off by himself. He knew that when Peter told him to keep himself busy, he meant to keep himself busy right there in the office. But, Neal really_, really_ wanted to ride the elevators. He didn't really understand what the big deal was, anyway. He wasn't a baby, anymore. He was five years old and they were in the FBI building, after all. It was a building full of good guys with guns.

Neal thought about the new friend he had made…..Agent Rob. He was a nice guy and he didn't treat Neal like he was a baby. He didn't even say anything when Neal's eyes watered because he couldn't remember what floor Peter was on. Agent Rob just kept talking to Neal, asking him a bunch of questions about Peter and what kind of work he did, until he finally figured out who Peter was. Agent Rob even told Neal that he was brave and really smart when Neal remembered that Peter worked in the "White Color" division. Neal wondered why they called it that when everything in the office looked gray to him.

The second they stepped off the elevator, Neal saw Peter and could immediately tell that the man was angry. He didn't even give Neal a chance to say goodbye to his new friend before he sent him upstairs to pack up his things.

The ride home was even worse. Peter barely looked at Neal the whole way and by the time they got home, his knuckles were completely white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. What was even scarier was the fact that his face was a scary shade of red-purple. Once they were in the house, Peter had immediately sent him to sit in the corner, and Neal knew better than to argue.

So, there he sat, in his least favorite chair, staring at his least favorite wall of the house. Neal felt like he had been sitting there forever and he really, _really_ wanted to get up. Instead, he just sat there, singing songs to himself and making up stories in his head, hoping that Elizabeth would come home and make Peter be not so mad.

Fortunately, just minutes after he thought that, Elizabeth walked through the door. He wanted desperately to jump up and run to her, but he stayed where he was, listening to her take off her coat and put her handbag away. Finally, he could hear her heels clicking his way.

"Neal? Sweetie, what happened? Why are you sitting in the time-out chair?"

At the sound of her voice, Neal immediately started crying. "Peter's mad at me, Lizbef! And he made me sit here! Can I come out now? Please?"

"Just a minute, sweetheart. Let me talk to Peter, okay? Do you know where he is?"

Neal pointed to the kitchen, but before Elizabeth could go in to talk to Peter, he came out into the dining room.

"El, you're home!"

Elizabeth noticed the relief in Peter's voice and also how frazzled he looked. "Peter, what happened? It looks like the two of you had a rough afternoon."

Peter gave his wife a tired smile, before turning to Neal. "Neal, why don't you go on up to your room and color in your book, okay? I need to talk to Elizabeth."

Peter and Elizabeth watched as Neal slowly got up and sadly trudged to the stairs. They both wanted to laugh at the pitiful sight before them, but they didn't. The kid could be so melodramatic sometimes. Once he was upstairs, Peter led Elizabeth over to the dining room table and filled her in on what had happened.

Elizabeth couldn't believe that Neal would do such a thing. "What in the world was he thinking?" she asked her husband.

"I think he was thinking how much fun it would be to ride the elevators," Peter answered.

"I don't even want to think about what could have happened, Peter. What if that man had been there? What if Neal had wandered out into the street? What if he had found some agent's gun lying on a desk somewhere?"

"Well, I would hope that a trained agent wouldn't just leave their gun unattended, El. Anyway, I just don't know what to do to get him to understand how dangerous his little adventure was." Peter sighed in frustration. "I called my dad, El, and asked him for some advice. He didn't specifically tell me what to do, but he gave me a good idea. He said we need to make sure that Neal knows what's expected of him and that he knows what to expect if he misbehaves. We've never really sat him down and talked about any of that stuff, have we? Dad also said that you and I need to be on the same page, as far as how we're going to punish Neal when he misbehaves."

Peter was surprised to see a smile cross his wife's face. "I never thought we'd be having this conversation, hon," she said. "This is new territory for us.

"Definitely new, _terrifying_ territory, El!"

* * *

After talking for almost thirty minutes, Peter and Elizabeth decided that they would have a talk with Neal after dinner. He always seemed to be more attentive when his growling stomach wasn't distracting him. Once dinner was over, the three of them went into the living room. Neal could tell that something was up, just by how nervous both Peter and Elizabeth were acting.

Elizabeth sat down on the sofa and patted the seat next to her, as she called Neal over. Neal climbed up onto the sofa, snuggling as close to Elizabeth as he could without actually being in her lap. Peter sat down in the armchair directly across from them.

"Neal, Elizabeth and I need to talk to you about some very important things, okay? This is something we should have done when you first came home with us, buddy, but we didn't think about it. We want to talk to you about our house rules, okay?"

Neal frowned at that, never having been a fan of rules in his young life. "I already know the rules, Peter. I have to take a bath every day, I can't walk Satchmo by myself, I can't watch Dean Martin in the middle of the night, I can't manilupate people to get more cookies, I can't jump on or off the furniture, and I can't leave you alone. Oh, and I can't stomp my foot or throw things at people."

"Those are definitely some of the rules, Neal, but Elizabeth and I want to make sure you understand everything, especially the big rules." Once Peter was sure he had Neal's attention, he continued. "The biggest rule we have in this house is that you are never, ever to wander off by yourself, Neal. That means you always stay with whoever is in charge of you. Do you understand what I mean by that, Neal?"

Neal nodded. "That means no more elevator rides by myself, right?"

"That's right, sweetie. You are never to walk off by yourself, for any reason." Elizabeth smiled at the sheepish look on Neal's face.

"The next rule is that you don't ever talk to strangers, Neal. Not for any reason. If someone approaches you that you don't know, you scream as loud as you can, okay? For now, you're not to go out into the backyard by yourself, either. If you want to go outside and play, you need to let one of us know, so we can go out with you. And remember…..no more night time wanderings in the house. Elizabeth and I need to know where you are at all times, okay, bud?"

"Okay, Peter."

"Now, just a few more things, Neal. Like you said, no more jumping on or off the furniture. No climbing trees. No sliding down the banisters. No climbing on the kitchen counters. No standing on the barstool to reach the cookies. These are all things I've seen you do recently, and I don't want to catch you doing any of them again. Is that clear?"

"Okay, Peter." Neal agreed again, but he had a thoughtful look on his face. "Lizbef, do you think you could stop putting the cookies on the highest shelf? That way I wouldn't need to climb on the counter or stand on the barstool."

Elizabeth laughed. "No way, Neal. I think it's better that you have to ask for a cookie. Otherwise, you'd eat them all at once."

Neal definitely wasn't happy with that answer.

Once they had talked over a few more points, Peter decided it was time to talk about consequences. "Neal, now that we've talked about the rules, do you understand what you can and can't do? Are you confused about anything we talked about?"

"I understand, Peter."

"Okay, then….now we want to talk about consequences. Do you know what that word means?"

"It means what happens after you do something. Like if you eat too many cookies, consequences make your tummy hurt. I don't like consequences."

"Consequences aren't always bad, sweetie," Elizabeth said. "Remember when your class was the quietest at the assembly and you all got an extra recess? That was a consequence of good behavior."

"I like those kinds of consequences, Lizbef. I just don't like the others."

"Neal, we have to have both good and bad consequences to help reinforce the type of behavior we want. Good consequences make you want to continue to do the right thing, right? And bad consequences make you want to do the right thing the next time. When you behave yourself and do what's expected of you, you're rewarded. When you misbehave and break the rules, you're punished."

"I don't like to be punished, Lizbef. It makes me sad."

"I think that's part of the point, Neal," Peter answered. "Punishment isn't supposed to make you happy. It's supposed to help you understand what you did wrong and make you not want to do it again. What are some of the consequences you've had to face when you did something wrong? Can you tell us?"

Neal looked thoughtfully at the two of them, his nose scrunched up. "You made me go to bed early, remember? And I didn't get a story. That made me really sad, Peter."

"What else, Neal?"

"I had to sit in the time-out chair for hours, too."

Peter laughed at that. "I'm pretty sure it was less than twenty minutes, but I'm sure it felt like hours to you."

"Kid minutes are longer than big people minutes, Peter," Neal said, matter-of-factly.

"Okay, Neal, I guess I forgot that. Can you think of anything else?"

Neal thought hard again. "At school I have to sit down on the time-out bench and miss recess. And all the kids stare at me like I'm a crinimal or something." Neal obviously felt that this was unacceptable.

"Does that make you want to behave better at school, sweetie?" Elizabeth asked.

"I try, Lizbef, but sometimes it's hard. It's like my energy gets all fired up and I can't stop talking and moving. Mr. Parker doesn't like that very much. He always says his patience is running out."

Elizabeth could imagine the frustration of trying to keep a kid like Neal calm throughout the day. The boy really did have more energy than normal. She vowed to make Mr. Parker a batch of cookies to show her appreciation. "Just keep trying, Neal, okay?"

Peter interrupted before Neal could answer. "Okay, buddy….one last thing. Do you remember what I told you about what happened when I jumped off the furniture and broke my mom's vase?" Peter could tell by the way Neal's eyes widened that he remembered.

"Your daddy spanked you, Peter," he whispered.

"Yes, he did, buddy. And the reason he spanked me was because I had already been told to not jump on the furniture, remember? When I did it again, even though I knew I wasn't supposed to, I was being deliberately disobedient. And in my house, that earned me a spanking."

Peter hesitated after saying that to see what Neal would say.

After several long seconds, he looked up at Peter. "Peter? Will I earn a spanking, too, if I'm delibately disbedient? "

"Yes, you will, Neal. Elizabeth and I want you to learn how important it is to follow our rules. If you do something that you know you're not supposed to do, you might earn yourself a spanking. If you break one of our big rules, you'll definitely get a spanking. Do you understand?"

Neal looked seriously at Peter. "I don't like spankings, Peter, so I won't be delibately disbedient. I'll never be disbedient again, as long as I live!"

Peter had never heard such an unlikely statement before. Poor little mischievous Neal wouldn't be able to stay out of trouble for too long, no matter how hard he tried. Just as Peter was about to suggest that they play a game, Neal spoke up again.

"Peter? I'm sorry I rode the elevators without you today. You're not gonna s-s-spank me, are you?"

"You've already been punished for your little elevator adventure, Neal, so I'm not going to spank you. Now, how about we play a game of Slap Jack? I need to defend my throne."

"It's my throne now, Peter," Neal giggled. "Remember? I beat you the last three times!"

Peter loved the sound of Neal's giggles and he vowed to make sure they continued. Maybe his father was right…..Maybe he was exactly what Neal deserved.

* * *

Author's note: So, what do you all think of Peter's dad? I think he sounds like a reasonable kind of guy that raised a reasonable kind of son, lol. I'd also like your opinions on whether or not the idea of Peter spanking Neal is too much for you all. If I decide to go that route, I definitely wouldn't go into details of said punishment. It just seems plausible to me that Peter would use that sort of discipline in some circumstances. Anyway, I'm not sure if that's the direction I'm going in (and if I do go in that direction, it will not be a big part of the story), but I'd really like to hear your thoughts on it. Thanks for reading.


	15. Undone

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 15

* * *

By the time they were done playing Slap Jack, Peter was truly and completely dethroned. Neal had unusually fast reflexes for a five year old, it seemed. The last game ended with all three of them holding their stomachs from laughing so hard. It wasn't until Peter sent Neal up to take a bath afterwards that things became strange.

"Neal, it's bath time, kid," Peter said as he put the cards away.

Neal jumped off of his chair to head upstairs, but immediately froze, looking at Peter and Elizabeth with wide eyes. They had no idea what was going on, but Peter figured that it was just Neal not wanting to take a bath, even though that hadn't been a problem ever since Elizabeth had bought him new bath toys.

"Go on upstairs, Neal. I'll be there soon," Peter said sternly. Neal looked like he was about to cry, but he turned and walked upstairs, his head hanging down.

"What in the world was that all about?" Elizabeth wondered, as she watched Neal go upstairs.

"I have no idea. Lately he's been enjoying bath time, I thought. I'll go check on him, El." Peter gave his wife a quick kiss before heading upstairs to check on Neal.

Once he went into the bathroom, he found Neal standing there, completely unclothed, wrapped in a towel. Peter started the bath water, making sure to add Neal's favorite bubble bath, and he threw in a couple of Neal's new bath toys before helping the boy into the tub.

Neal usually played wildly in the tub, splashing water everywhere as he staged battles and subsequent rescue operations with his boats, so Peter was surprised when the boy just sat in the water and waited for Peter to wash his hair. After he was done, Peter helped him out of the tub, dried him off and watched him get into his pajamas and brush his teeth. The whole time Neal was quiet and Peter had to admit that he missed the little boy's near constant chatter. A quiet Neal was an unsettling image.

Once Neal was all done in the bathroom, Peter followed him into his bedroom, surprised that he went directly to his bed, instead of picking out a book like he did every night. "Don't you want me to read you a story tonight, Neal?" he asked.

"I just want to go to sleep, Peter," Neal answered, without looking at Peter.

"Are you feeling okay, bud? Elizabeth will be here in a few minutes. She can check you out, if you're feeling sick."

Neal didn't answer as he rolled on his side, his back to Peter. Peter didn't know what to do, so he just said a quiet goodnight before walking out the door.

Minutes later, Elizabeth joined him in their bedroom, a look of confusion on her face. "I have no idea what's wrong with him, hon. He doesn't have a fever and he said he didn't feel bad, but he's acting strange. When I kissed him, he just laid there, instead of throwing his arms around my neck like he usually does. He didn't even say goodnight to me, Peter."

"Maybe he's just tired, El. Let's just see how he is after a good night's sleep."

Elizabeth didn't look convinced, but she knew that there really wasn't much she could do at the moment.

* * *

The next morning, Peter and Elizabeth were disappointed to see that Neal was still acting strangely. Elizabeth had made French toast, one of Neal's favorite breakfasts, but he did little more that pick at it. It wasn't until she went back into the kitchen to make Peter more French toast that something happened to make them understand what was going on with Neal.

Neal had just finished drinking his milk and wanted more. Reaching across the table, he lifted the pitcher of milk, but unfortunately it was too heavy for him. Peter, who was reading a newspaper and not really paying attention to what Neal was doing, threw his paper down when he heard the pitcher drop to the table. To Neal's horror the pitcher broke, spilling milk all over the table and all over Peter's pants.

"Neal! What the hell are you doing?! I told you just yesterday not to try to pour your own milk, didn't I?! Now, look what you've done!"

Neal immediately started crying and before Peter knew what was happening, he had jumped out of his chair and crawled under the table. Elizabeth came running out of the kitchen after hearing Peter yelling and Neal crying. "What happened?! Peter, why is Neal under the table?"

By this time, Peter was standing up, cleaning off his pants with a napkin. "He spilled the milk all over me, El. I told him yesterday that he couldn't pour his own milk, but he tried to do it anyway and he dropped the pitcher! Now, I'm going to have to change my clothes."

"Peter, it's just milk. And it was an accident," Elizabeth said.

Without another word, Peter walked upstairs to change his clothes. Elizabeth bent down and looked under the table, her heart breaking at the sight of the tears streaming down Neal's face. "Neal, it's okay, sweetie. It's just milk. Can you come out from there?"

"I don't want to, Lizbef," Neal whispered.

Sighing in frustration at the way her husband had handled things, Elizabeth got down on her hands and knees and crawled under the table. Once she was there, she pulled Neal quickly into her arms. "Sweetie, it's okay," she said, trying to reassure the trembling boy.

"No, it's not, Lizbef," Neal cried. "Peter's mad at me and he's going to spank me!"

"He's not going to spank you, Neal."

"Promise, Lizbef?"

Elizabeth looked at the little boy, his big blue eyes full of tears, and his lower lip trembling. "I promise, sweetie. Now, can we get out from under the table? My knees are killing me."

Neal climbed out from under the table, and then helped Elizabeth to her feet as he looked around nervously to see where Peter was. A few seconds later, he heard Peter coming down the stairs and he quickly hid behind Elizabeth.

Peter entered the dining room to find a troubled Elizabeth standing there with Neal peeking around her leg. "El?"

"Peter, Neal thinks you're going to spank him because he spilled the milk." Elizabeth looked at her husband closely, trying to send him a message without coming out and saying it. _Neal was afraid of him_. When Peter didn't seem to understand, she just came out and said it. "He's afraid of how angry you are with him, Peter."

Peter's heart sank at the thought that Neal was afraid of him. Looking straight at the boy, who was still hiding behind Elizabeth's leg, he apologized. "Hey, bud….I'm sorry for yelling at you, okay? I was just upset that the milk spilled all over me, that's all. And I just told you yesterday to ask for help with that, remember?"

Neal edged his way out a bit from Elizabeth's back, still hanging onto her skirt. "I'm s-sorry, Peter. I didn't mean to spill the milk. And I forgot I wasn't supposed to do it myself. Sometimes my brain gets full and I forget stuff."

"Well, then….it seems you need to work on remembering stuff better and I need to work on not getting upset over spilled milk, right?"

Neal edged out to Elizabeth's side, grabbing her hand with both of his and burying his face into her arm, before looking again at Peter. "Are you still mad at me, Peter?" he asked hesitantly.

"No, Neal. I'm not mad. And I really am sorry for yelling at you, little man. Do you forgive me?"

Neal suddenly ran to Peter, throwing his arms around his neck. "I forgive you, Peter." Neal leaned in closer to Peter and whispered in his ear. "_Don't worry, Peter….I won't tell Lizbef that you said a bad word, okay?"_

Peter laughed. "Thanks, Neal. I appreciate that!

* * *

That evening, Peter and Elizabeth sat down with Neal and finally got him to talk about what had happened when he was with the Miller's. Neal told them several stories of how William would punish him by spanking him, slapping him, and even pulling him around by his hair for even the tiniest bit of misbehavior. Elizabeth had, of course, discovered bruises on Neal's arm when she first met him, presumably left by William Miller, even though Neal explained that he had fallen at school.

By the time they were done talking, the three of them were physically and emotionally exhausted. Peter and Elizabeth were relieved to know the extent of William's treatment of Neal, and Neal was relieved to find out that Peter would never spank him. After the day's events, Peter and Elizabeth realized that spanking was definitely not a disciplinary option for Neal. Just the thought of it had sent the poor kid scrambling to hide under the table. And they also figured that Neal's strange behavior the night before was probably due to the fact that he thought that Peter would spank him for some perceived wrongdoing. They would obviously have to come up with other ways to punish Neal's misbehavior.

* * *

Finally, Peter and Elizabeth met with the adoption lawyer and were happy to hear that they had a very good chance of adopting Neal. They had decided to wait on telling the little boy, just in case something went wrong. After starting the adoption process, they also decided that it was time for Neal to meet their families. Peter's mother and father were the first ones they invited, since they lived only a few hours away.

They arrived Friday evening, after the almost four hour drive from Ithaca, excited to finally meet the little boy they hoped would become their grandson. Neal was dressed in a shirt and tie, and was upset that Elizabeth wouldn't let him wear his fedora.

"I want to look my best, Lizbef! Please let me wear my hat!"

"Neal, we're just going to be in the house. You don't need to wear a hat in the house."

"I know I don't _need _to wear my hat, Lizbef," Neal argued. "But I _want _to wear it."

"Neal," Peter cut in. "Elizabeth said no, so the answer is no."

Before Neal could say or do anything, the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of their visitors. Neal immediately hid behind Elizabeth, as Peter answered the door. Neal listened closely as Peter greeted his parents, trying to figure out if they sounded mean or nice. Before he could make up his mind, Peter led them into the living room.

Neal looked shyly up at the two new adults, wishing that he had his fedora on. Whenever he wore his fedora he felt sophisticated and suave, just like Dean Martin. Without it, he just felt like a little kid.

Peter walked over and placed his hand on the top of Neal's head. "Neal, this is my mother, Nancy, and my father, Richard. Mom, Dad…this is Neal."

Nancy Burke stepped forward and bent down in front of Neal. "I'm so glad to finally meet you, Neal. You're just as adorable as Elizabeth said you were."

Neal smiled up at her, pouring on the charm. "Lizbef says that all the time," he answered as he rolled his eyes dramatically, making Nancy laugh.

"You didn't have to get all dressed up just for us, dear," Nancy said.

"I didn't. I always dress like this. Lizbef says it makes me look sophissicated and swab."

"It sure does, Neal," Nancy answered. "Now, if we could only get Richard and Peter to take lessons from you….."

Neal giggled at that. "Peter has ugly ties," he whispered conspiratorially. "But, don't tell him I said that. He thinks they look good."

Just as Nancy started to say something, Richard Burke stepped forward. "Hey, there, Neal…..I'm Richard. It's nice to meet you, son.

Neal inched closer to Peter, who was still standing next to him. "Hi," he said in a small voice.

Richard looked up at Peter, obviously wondering why Neal suddenly seemed warier. Peter just shrugged his shoulders, not really understanding himself what was going through the little boy's mind. Neal had heard Peter talk about his parents several times, so Peter was surprised that he was acting so timid with his father. He figured they would just need to get to know each other better.

* * *

Dinner was an interesting affair, with Neal talking Nancy's ear off, but clamming up whenever Richard said anything to him. They all noticed, though, the frequent looks Neal sent toward Richard. No one said anything, hoping that with time, Neal would realize that there wasn't anything to be afraid of with Richard.

After dinner was over, Elizabeth told Neal it was time to go up and take a bath, but Neal didn't want to. He wanted to stay and talk with Nancy, instead. When Elizabeth told him the second time, with an even firmer voice, Neal still hadn't moved. Finally, Peter spoke up, getting Neal's attention immediately with the sternness in his voice.

"Neal! Elizabeth told you it was time for your bath, little man, so get going."

"I want to stay and talk to Nan!" Neal whined.

"This isn't up for discussion, Neal. Let's go get your bath done and then you can come back down and talk to Nan. She isn't going anywhere."

Neal looked mournfully at Nan before climbing down from his chair. "You promise you won't leave?" Neal asked her. "I want to draw you a picture."

"I wouldn't miss that for the world, Neal. I promise I'll be right here when you're done."

With that, Neal quickly went upstairs with Peter, now anxious to get his bath done as fast as possible. Once he was in the tub, Neal kept sneaking glances at Peter, until finally Peter caught him.

"What's on your mind, bud? You look like you want to ask me something."

Neal played with one of his boats for a minute before finally answering. "Peter, do you ever get disbedient sometimes?" he asked with a serious look on his face.

"What do you mean, Neal? Are you asking if I misbehave sometimes?"

Neal nodded at that.

"Well, I guess everyone misbehaves every once in a while, bud. Sometimes I leave my socks on the floor and Elizabeth gets mad at me, remember? And sometimes I might get a ticket for driving too fast or something." Peter wondered what was going through Neal's mind with these questions. "What made you ask that, Neal?"

Neal was quiet for several long seconds, as if he was trying to get his thoughts together. Finally, he looked up at Peter in concern. "Peter, your daddy won't spank you if you get disbedient, will he?"

Peter couldn't stop the laugh that escaped him. "Is that what this is all about? You're worried that my dad might spank me?"

Neal nodded his head solemnly. "Maybe you should try really, really hard to not be disbedient, Peter, okay?"

"Neal….buddy….my dad's not going to spank me, okay? I'm a grown man, remember? And he won't spank you, either, okay? You don't have anything to worry about. Now, let's get you out of the tub, so you can get back downstairs and charm the pants off of everyone again."

Neal looked up at Peter, wide-eyed. "I didn't charm the pants off of anyone, Peter. That's weird!"

* * *

By the end of the weekend, Neal had Richard and Nancy Burke wrapped around his little finger. Once he was reassured that Richard wasn't going to spank either him or Peter, he set about charming the pants off of him, just like Peter said. Richard was blown away by how smart and intuitive Neal was in everything he did. Nancy was amazed at Neal's artistic abilities, and it wasn't long before she had a folder full of drawings that Neal had done just for her.

As they were saying goodnight to their newest grandson on the first night of their visit, Nancy told Neal that he could call her Grandma Nan, like the rest of her grandkids. Neal had a his own idea, though, and decided to call her Nana Nan, instead. Richard told Neal to call him Papa or Papi. Neal chose Papa. For the first time that he could remember, Neal had grandparents, and he loved it.

The weekend visit was going great for everyone. They spent each evening playing different games and taking short walks with Satchmo. On Saturday, they went to several different museums, much to Neal's delight. Peter was sure to keep a close eye on Neal the entire time they were out in public, making sure that someone was holding his hand the entire time. He, of course, had his eyes peeled for any strange acting people in the same vicinity, too.

Sunday evening the world stopped turning for the Burkes. Elizabeth, Nancy and Neal left the house to drive to a bakery a few miles away. Richard and Nancy were planning on leaving early the next morning to beat morning traffic, so Elizabeth thought that she would grab some pastries for breakfast, instead of having to cook so early in the morning. Peter offered to go, but he and Richard were watching some game on television, prompting Elizabeth to go, instead. Nancy offered to go with her, and of course, wherever Nana Nan went, Neal went, too. As they were leaving, Peter reminded Elizabeth to make sure she locked the car doors.

They were on the way back from the bakery when everything in Elizabeth's world fell apart. Neal was sitting in his booster seat in the back, happily eating a chocolate doughnut, as he listened to Nancy tell a story about Peter's childhood. Elizabeth had a huge smile on her face, as she imagined Peter as a five year old boy, trying to learn how to swim. She was thinking that maybe they should enroll Neal in some swimming lessons, when they were suddenly rear-ended by another car.

The collision sent them flying forward, but fortunately, Elizabeth was able to control her car. She was trying to pull over to the side of the road, still thinking that it was just a strange accident, when the other car crashed into them again, hitting them in the side. With the side impact, she lost complete control of the car and to her horror, the car flipped over several times before rolling down a steep embankment.

The last thought she had before losing consciousness was of how desperately she wished she had left Neal at home.

* * *

Author's note: Thank you all for your amazing reviews for the last chapter. As you can tell, I've decided that in light of the abuse heaped on Neal by the Miller's, Peter will not be spanking Neal for his misbehavior. It just doesn't seem appropriate at this time. Thank you so much to those of you who, even though you're against the spanking of children, told me that you would still read my story, if I decided to include it. That's awesome.

This chapter was really hard to write, for some reason, and I'm really not satisfied with it. I hope it makes sense to you all and doesn't seem too disjointed. I wrote most of it at times that I should have been sleeping, lol.

Anyway, thanks for reading.


	16. How Do I Live Without You?

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 16

* * *

Peter was beginning to get worried when it seemed to be taking Elizabeth longer than he thought necessary. Richard reassured his son that they probably just got side-tracked by something, as they often did, but Peter instinctually knew that something was wrong.

The moment the phone rang, he knew that his whole world was about to change.

* * *

Elizabeth woke up to the sound of someone calling her name. It took her several seconds to realize that she was hanging upside down in her car, held in place only by her seat belt. It also took her several seconds to wrap her mind around what had happened. Looking frantically around, she saw her mother-in-law in the same predicament she was in. Nancy was frantically trying to undo her seat belt, as she called out to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth tried to speak, but couldn't seem to form the words she wanted. Frantically, she tried to turn her head around to search for Neal, terrified to realize that she hadn't heard a single sound from the backseat yet. "Neal! Neal, are you okay? NEAL!"

Nancy was crying as she listened to Elizabeth calling for the little boy. "Elizabeth, he's gone! I woke up and there was a man taking him out of the car. I tried to stop him, Elizabeth! I tried, but I couldn't get out of the seat belt! He just took him!"

Elizabeth could tell Nancy was going into shock, but whether it was from her physical injury or just from the shock of watching Neal be taken out of the car by someone, she didn't know. Still looking around, she was dismayed to find that they were upside down in a ravine. She couldn't tell if there were any other cars on the road above them, but she didn't hear anyone coming to help, so she had to assume that no one knew they were down there.

"Nancy….are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I'm okay, Elizabeth. Just a little shaken up and I think I dislocated my shoulder. How about you? Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Elizabeth reassured her. "Can you see my purse? I need to get to my phone." Elizabeth could tell that she was just seconds away from panicking, so she tried to calm herself down. The two of them looked around for her purse, but before they found it, they heard voices calling down from above.

Thank God! Someone had found them.

* * *

Fortunately for Elizabeth and Nancy, the young man and woman that found them were paramedics in training. They quickly assessed them, determining that Nancy more than likely did have a dislocated shoulder and that, other than a few scrapes and bruises, and a rather nasty bump on the head, Elizabeth was fine, notwithstanding the obvious bruises to come from the airbags and seat belts, of course.

The whole time they were being assessed by the two young people, Elizabeth was asking to be cut out of the seat belt, so she could go after the man that had taken Neal. At first, they thought that she was just in shock and rambling nonsensical things, but once Nancy started saying the same thing, they realized that there might be some truth to what Elizabeth was saying. However much Elizabeth begged them, they wouldn't do it, though, citing the fact that she might have spinal or internal injuries that could be exacerbated by movement.

Eventually, the police and ambulance showed up, and somehow in the controlled chaos of the rescue, Elizabeth was able to get them to understand what had happened. She also finally got one of them to call Peter.

An hour after the collision occurred, Nancy and Elizabeth were finally free of the car and on their way to the hospital. Elizabeth couldn't stop thinking that it had already been an hour since someone had taken Neal. Sixty minutes…..3,600 seconds…..at least 6,000 heartbeats since he had been gone.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Neal's chest and head hurt so much that he wanted to cry. He also felt like he was going to throw up. Adding to that was the scariness of finding himself hanging upside down in the car. All in all, he was terrified. Looking around, he could see Elizabeth and Nancy hanging upside down in the front of the car, and he immediately started calling out to them. When neither one of them answered him, he couldn't stop the tears from falling down his face.

Neal tried to undo his seat belt, but he couldn't reach around to the latch. As he tried to figure out what to do next, he kept calling out to Elizabeth, his dread increasing when she wouldn't wake up. After several minutes that seemed like hours to him, he heard something outside the car. He felt relief shoot through him when the door next to him creaked open. Finally, someone was there to help them.

Through the tears streaming down his face and the panic consuming him, Neal didn't recognize the man that was working to pull him from the car. "Hey, Neal….are you hurt? I'm going to get you out of there, okay? Just hold on for a minute."

Neal yelled for the man to check Elizabeth and Nana Nan, but the man was solely focused on him. After several more minutes, the man was able to get the seat belt released, and he firmly held on to Neal and lowered him to the floor. Neal thought it funny for a second that the floor was actually the roof of the car.

Once Neal was free of everything, he tried to get to Elizabeth, but the man held on to him tightly. "Come on, kid. I need to get you out of here," the man said.

"NO! We have to help Lizbef!" Neal cried. "She won't wake up!"

"It's okay, Neal. I'm going to get you out of here and then I'll get help for her."

Neal continued to struggle, but the man had no problem handling him. Once they were free of the car, Neal tried to get down, but the man held on to him and started walking back up the embankment. Before Neal realized what was happening, he was strapped into another car and they were heading away from the site of the accident.

* * *

Peter and Richard arrived at the hospital within minutes of the ambulance's arrival. They immediately went into the emergency room, identifying themselves to the lady at the front desk. The lady informed them that someone would be out to talk to them soon, so they both reluctantly sat down.

Eventually, the ER door opened and a young man dressed in blue scrubs came out. Looking around the waiting room, he finally called for the family of Elizabeth and Nancy Burke. Peter and Richard jumped up and nearly ran forward, causing the doctor to take a few steps back.

"I'm Peter Burke and this is my father, Richard. How are they?"

"Sir, if you'll both come with me, I can give you an update on their condition." The doctor led them through the double doors and into a consultation room. "I'm Dr. Lincoln and I was here to triage your family when they came in. Let me start by saying that they are stable and are currently undergoing treatment."

Peter and Richard both sank back into their chairs in relief.

"Nancy Burke has a dislocated right shoulder and a rather large bruise from the seat belt. We've put it back in place and she'll have to wear a sling for a while, but it should heal nicely. Elizabeth has several bruises and abrasions, with the most concerning one being the one on her left temple. They both lost consciousness for a few minutes, so they are currently getting head CTs to make sure there are no underlying head injuries. They are both awake now and neurologically intact, which is a good sign. They'll both be fairly sore for a while, but we anticipate a full recovery for both of them."

As Peter listened, he felt relief flood him that they were okay, but he also felt dread fill him at the realization that Dr. Lincoln hadn't mentioned Neal at all. "What about Neal? Is he okay?"

Dr. Lincoln stared at Peter in confusion. "I'm sorry, Mr. Burke. Who is Neal?"

Now it was Peter's turn to be confused. "Neal. He's our five year old and he would have been in the car with my wife."

"Mr. Burke, your wife and mother were the only ones brought in from the accident."

Peter looked frantically at his father, before turning back to the doctor. "That's not possible! She took him with her, I helped her fasten him in the booster seat. How could he not be in the car? Did he get thrown out?"

By this time, panic had fully set into Peter, causing his heart to race as he imagined Neal left in the ravine while the ambulance whisked away its passengers. Richard Burke looked just as panicked as his son. "Mr. Burke, let me find the policemen that came in with the ambulance. Maybe they know something about that."

Dr. Lincoln left and less than a minute later, returned with an older police officer. "Mr. Burke, I'm Officer Forman. My partner and I were the First Responders on the scene. I've been trying to call your cell phone, sir, but I never got an answer."

Peter searched his pockets, but didn't find his cell phone. "I must have left it at home. "What's going on? Where's Neal?"

"Sir, when we arrived on scene, the two civilians that were there told us that Elizabeth Burke kept insisting that someone had taken Neal out of the car and left with him. Your wife confirmed that immediately."

Peter felt his legs give out, but luckily Dr. Lincoln quickly pushed a chair under him before he fell. "Someone took him? Is she sure? Maybe he got himself out of his seat and wandered off. He does that sometimes."

"Mr. Burke, your mother saw the man taking Neal. She tried to stop him, but couldn't. We've issued an Amber Alert and have every available person working on this, but we don't have much to go on. It was dark and Nancy Burke was only able to give us a generic description."

Peter felt as if his whole world was crumbling around him. Looking up at Dr. Lincoln, he said the only thing he could. "I need to see my wife."

* * *

Elizabeth felt as if she was living her worst nightmare. She didn't feel any of her physical injuries, at all, as they were all overshadowed by the agonizing, empty ache in her heart. She would give anything to hear Neal's little voice or to feel him playing with her hair as she lay on the gurney. She couldn't bear the thought of him somewhere all alone, hurt and scared, and her fear and desperation nearly consumed her, nearly shattered her completely.

After the Cat Scan was done, Elizabeth had been wheeled back into the triage room. She could hear a nurse or doctor talking to Nancy in the room next to her, and she was relieved to hear that Nancy would be okay. Just as she was about to ask if anyone had heard from her husband, the curtain opened and Peter walked in.

"Peter! Peter, someone took Neal! I'm so sorry…..I'm so sorry!" Elizabeth cried.

"Hey, hon….it's not your fault. It was an accident and we'll find him." Peter tried to reassure his wife, but he knew it wouldn't work.

"It wasn't an accident, Peter. Someone drove us off the road. Someone deliberately made us crash."

Although Peter had already suspected that, her words shocked him. "Are you sure, El?"

"Yes! Someone rear-ended us and I thought that it was just an accident, but right after I regained control of the car, they side-swiped us. I lost control of the car and we rolled several times, I think, before we went into the ravine. I must have passed out, Peter, because all I remember after that is hearing your mom call my name. And then she told me that someone had taken Neal. I'm so sorry!"

"El, it's not your fault." Peter squeezed his wife's hand, hoping to infuse some strength into her, even though he couldn't spare any. "The police are doing everything they can, hon. And Diana is getting the team together to help. The FBI Missing Persons has been notified and Reece is making sure that they're hurrying. We'll find him, El."

"I can't lose him, Peter…."

* * *

Once he knew his mother and wife were okay, Peter left the hospital to join his team at the accident site. The area was swarming with activity and Peter quickly honed in on his team. He was surprised to see the young man that had helped Neal find his way back to the White Collar division talking with Jones. "Agent Davidson, isn't it?" he asked as he walked up to them. "You're ERT, right?"

"Yes, sir….I've been with Evidence Recovery for a few years now."

"Have you guys found anything yet? I'm sure my team explained to you what happened here."

"Yes, sir. They informed us that there was an intentional collision and that a small child was taken from the accident site by an unknown subject."

"That small child was my foster son, Agent Davidson. It was Neal."

The young agent looked shocked to hear that. "It was Neal? Oh my God!"

"Have you uncovered any evidence yet?"

Agent Davidson looked relieved to be able to answer Peter's question. "Yes, sir. We retrieved several full and partial prints from the seat belt. We'll have to run it against your prints, of course, and your wife's. Is there anyone else that might have strapped Neal into his seat?"

"No, that should be it. How about the door handle? It looks like whoever took Neal was able to open the door from the outside."

"I don't think we'll recover any prints from the door, Agent Burke. There was a cloud burst that lasted several minutes right before we got here. I think any print that was there probably got washed away, but we're definitely trying."

Peter gave the young agent a quick nod and then turned to find Diana. Looking around the accident scene, which was now deemed an active crime scene, Peter felt a chill shoot through him. _Who would take Neal? And was the boy okay?_

* * *

Neal had eventually fallen asleep in the car, his head aching too much to stay awake. He had no idea how long they had been driving; all he knew was that he really needed to go to the bathroom. Looking at the man in the driver's seat, he suddenly recognized him from the museum and the school.

He must have made some small noise, because the man suddenly turned around and looked at him. "Hey, Neal….How are you feeling?"

Neal felt like crying, but he used up every bit of self-control he had to keep the tears at bay. "My head hurts really bad, and I really, really need to use the bathroom." He couldn't help the small whine that escaped him, though, and he hurt too much to care.

"Hang in there, buddy. We're almost there."

Neal wondered where "_there_" was and he wondered what was going to happen to him once he got there. He felt the tears stinging his eyes again, as he wished with all of his heart that he could go home to Peter and Elizabeth. He was so scared and he knew that if Peter was here, he would save him from this bad man."

Just when Neal began to feel like he might actually pee his pants, the man turned the car into a long driveway, and a minute later, they pulled up to a small, worn down house. The man got out of the car and opened up Neal's door. He watched as the boy struggled with the seat belt, not offering to help. Eventually, Neal got the seat belt undone and scrambled out of the car, his need for the bathroom nearly overwhelming. The man must have sensed his frantic need, so he quickly led Neal into the house and pointed at a closed door off to the right. Neal ran as fast as his little legs would carry him into the bathroom.

Once he was done and he had washed his hands like Elizabeth always made him, he slowly opened the door and peered out. The house wasn't very clean and it smelled funny. Neal scrunched his nose up as he slowly walked out into the living room. The man was standing over by the window and when he heard Neal come out of the bathroom, he watched the boy closely.

"Sit down, Neal," he said, pointing to a threadbare sofa.

Neal obediently sat down, looking at everything around him. The man returned to looking at the window, seemingly forgetting that Neal was even there, until the boy spoke.

"Where are we? Is this your house?"

"Shut-up, kid. No questions."

"I wanna go home," Neal whispered. "I don't like it here."

"I said shut-up, kid!" the man yelled, causing Neal to push back into the sofa. "I don't want to hear another word out of you. Just sit there and be quiet."

Neal drew his knees up to his chest, and sat there, watching his tears hit the top of his knee and slide down his leg. His head hurt, his chest was really sore and his heart ached. He was more scared than he had ever been in his young life and all he wanted was to go home.

* * *

After spending an hour at the crime scene, Peter returned to the hospital. Fortunately, both Elizabeth and Nancy were released from the hospital with strict instructions to go home and take it easy. Elizabeth wanted to go back to the accident site, but Peter refused.

"Elizabeth, there's nothing there for you to see. NYPD and the FBI are both working the scene and I promise that they're doing everything they can. They're running prints right now that they found on Neal's seat belt and booster seat. Now, I'm going to take you and mom home, so you can rest like the doctor told you to."

Elizabeth started to argue, but Nancy interrupted. "Peter's right, dear. We need to go home and rest, so that when Neal gets home we're not too tired to enjoy him. You know how he is….. he's going to want to play a board game, I'm sure."

Elizabeth knew better than to argue, but she felt like her heart would shatter into a million pieces if she went home without Neal. She didn't think she could handle seeing evidence of him everywhere when she had absolutely no idea where he was or if he was safe. Her arms ached to hold the little boy again. Peter could read all of this in her eyes and pulled her into his arms.

"Everything will be okay, El. We'll find him and we'll find who took him, I promise. We just have to stay strong for him, okay? We can't fall apart yet."

Elizabeth buried her face in Peter's chest. She knew she had to pull it together, but she also knew that Peter's words were prophetic. She definitely would fall apart eventually. It was just a matter of time.

* * *

Neal was curled up on the sofa, shivering slightly from the fear that enveloped him. The man had spent quite a bit of time on the phone before finally realizing that Neal was shivering. He grabbed a blanket out of the closet, but it smelled so musty that Neal pushed it away from his chest. He felt like he was going to be sick and the musty smell only made it worse.

Neal's head was pounding and his chest hurt with every breath he took. When he was in the bathroom, he had looked at his chest and noticed a large purple bruise covering part of it. He also noticed that he had blood on his lip, probably from where he bit it during the accident.

Despite the fact that he felt sick to his stomach, Neal was really thirsty. He wanted to ask the man for a drink, but he was afraid that the man would yell at him again. Eventually, he couldn't take it anymore and as soon as the man hung up his phone again, Neal asked him for some water.

At first, the man looked like he might yell at him, but then he turned and walked into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he returned carrying a bottle of water and a soda. He handed the bottle of water to Neal and set the soda down on the table.

"You can have the soda if you want it, kid," he said.

"No thank you. Lizbef doesn't let me drink soda. She says it's bad for my teeth."

"Oh, _Lizbef _won't let you drink soda, huh? She sounds like a real witch."

"She is not! Don't talk about Lizbef that way!"

The man laughed at the angry look on Neal's face. "Okay, kid….calm down. I'm just joking. I don't care if you drink the soda or not. It's your choice."

Neal settled back down on the sofa, tears filling his eyes. "I wanna go home," he said quietly.

The man laughed again. "You're not going home, kid. This is your new home for now."

* * *

Author's note: Who is this man and what does he want with poor Neal?! Any ideas?

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for more…..


	17. Worn

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 17

* * *

Elizabeth and Nancy were both resting in bed, but neither of them had fallen asleep. Every time Elizabeth closed her eyes she thought she heard Neal calling for her. Every time she closed her eyes she saw his face, his blue eyes looking at her, his arms reaching for her. Every time she closed her eyes she thought of him and forgot to breathe.

Losing her baby had shattered Elizabeth almost completely, and it was only since Neal had come into her life that she felt the pieces finally being put back together. She never had the chance to look into Jackson's eyes and only had the chance to hold him for a short time, but she remembered him and loved him with every beat of her heart.

Not to diminish his loss at all, but it was different losing Neal. Her arms had held him so many nights, she had comforted him after his dreams, she had laughed with him, she had played with him. Losing him was a physical ache that she felt in every bone in her body. Losing him would shatter her in a way that she would never recover from.

* * *

Peter stayed at home as long as he could before giving in to the urge to go out looking for Neal. He knew there was little he could do until the fingerprint analysis came back, but he couldn't just sit at home. Neal would expect him to be out looking for him. Neal would expect him to save him.

He didn't even tell Elizabeth he was leaving, although he was sure that she expected it anyway. His father promised to take care of things at home and Peter promised to let him know if anything happened.

Peter went straight to the FBI building, hoping to hook up with the lead agent in charge of the case. He knew most of the New York field agents and hoped that the lead agent was someone he could work with. Some agents didn't like other department agents interfering with their cases, but this was definitely exceptional circumstances.

Once he arrived, he decided to check in at the White Collar office first, hoping that Diana and Jones were there. Luckily, he found them up in the conference room, files scattered everywhere.

"Hey, boss," Diana said. "How are you holding up? How's Elizabeth?"

Peter had already filled them in on the medical condition of his wife and mother, so he knew she was asking how Elizabeth was holding up emotionally. "We're holding it together, Diana. Have you come up with anything that might help find Neal?"

"Not yet, but we're working on it. We're checking deeper into Jenna and William Miller, and Jones is searching for anything we have on Neal's father. AFIS is still running the prints we found in the car." Diana stopped talking and placed her hand on Peter's arm. "We'll find him, Peter."

Peter really wanted to believe that, and he knew that two of the best agents he had ever worked with were working hard to make it true. "Do you know who the lead agent is on the case?"

"It's Dawson, boss."

Peter sighed in relief at that. He and Jim Dawson had been at Quantico together and although they hadn't necessarily been friends, they at least respected each other. He was a good agent and Peter knew he wouldn't mind him asking a few questions now and then.

"Can you get me his number, Diana? I want to talk with him."

A few minutes later Peter called Jim Dawson and found out that he was actually in the building. Jumping in the elevator to go and meet with him, Peter's heart ached at the memory of a smiling Neal coming off the elevator with Agent Davidson just days ago.

* * *

Neal didn't know how long he had been asleep, but he woke up to the sound of loud voices. He figured they were coming from the kitchen and he was pretty sure that one of them was a woman. Pushing the smelly blanket off of him, he stood up and walked closer to the kitchen. He was relieved to find that his head wasn't aching as much and that he was able to breathe a little easier, too. His chest still hurt, but it wasn't as bad as before.

Stopping just on the other side of the kitchen door, Neal stood as quietly as he could, hoping to hear something important.

"I can't believe you did that, Shawn. What were you thinking? He could have been killed and then what would we have done? Did you even think of that?" The woman's voice was shrill and unpleasant, causing Neal's head to pound a little. He thought that the voice sounded oddly familiar, but he couldn't really tell.

"Hey, if you think you could have done better, you were welcome to try. That boy was impossible to get to and I had to do something." Neal recognized this voice as the man who had kidnapped him.

"Is he okay? Did he get hurt?"

"I don't think so. He wasn't bleeding anywhere and he was walking and talking just fine," Shawn answered.

"Well, you better hope he doesn't have any internal injuries or something. That could screw everything up," she said.

Neal heard one of them open up the refrigerator door, reminding him that he was thirsty and hungry. Before he could think any further on that, they started talking again."

"So, what's the plan now? When do we get our money?" Shawn asked.

"We've gone over this a hundred times, Shawn," the woman answered, obviously frustrated. "We're going to lay low for a few days before we turn him over, so you might as well make yourself comfortable. When we get the call, we'll drop him off, get our money and be done with it all. Only a few more days, baby."

Neal didn't hear anything else; the sound of his heart pounding was too loud. He headed back over to the couch and curled up in a ball, praying with everything he had that Peter would find him. He didn't want to stay in the dirty, smelly house. He didn't want to listen to the woman's shrill voice ever again. He wanted to curl up next to Satchmo and color in his coloring book. He wanted to paint Elizabeth a picture and help her stick it on the refrigerator. He wanted to lay in his bed and listen to Peter read him a story. He just wanted to go home.

* * *

Elizabeth finally fell asleep after hours of staring at the ceiling. Her head ached and she felt continuously nauseated, so despite her desperation she finally closed her eyes and kept them closed. When she woke up, she thought for a blissful, heavenly second that it had all been a horrific dream, but then everything came rushing back to her in a flood of dreadful anxiety.

Jumping out of bed, she barely took the time to throw on her bathrobe before heading downstairs. She was surprised to find Richard and Nancy both sitting at the dining room table. "Where's Peter? Has there been any news?" she blurted out the minute she walked in.

"Elizabeth, how are you feeling?" Richard asked.

"Richard, please…..don't worry about me. Has there been any word on Neal?"

"I'm sorry, but no. Peter left a few hours ago, but he hasn't called yet. We were just thinking of calling him."

Elizabeth plopped down in the chair next to Nancy. "How did this happen? Who would do this?" she asked tearfully. "He's just a little boy and we were supposed to protect him. He must be so scared!"

Nancy pulled her chair closer and pulled Elizabeth into a one-armed hug. "Oh, honey, it's not your fault that this happened. Please don't think that! And we _are _going to find him!"

Elizabeth couldn't answer her mother-in-law. She couldn't help the fact that she felt like she had failed Neal, just like she had failed Jackson. Maybe she wasn't cut out to be a mother.

* * *

At Diana's insistence, Peter went home at six o'clock in the morning. Neal had been missing for almost twelve hours and everyone was still frantically searching. Peter knew they were all doing everything they could, but it didn't seem like enough. They had discovered that the prints on the car door and seat belt belonged to a thirty year old man named Shawn Clayton. The man had a small rap sheet consisting of small time robberies and thefts, and he had served several short jail terms, but nothing longer than six months.

Jones and several other agents were digging for any information they could find on the man and Peter knew that they would be searching for a while. He didn't want to leave, but he decided to go home rather than face Diana's wrath. She could be particularly intimidating at times.

When he arrived home, he was immediately accosted by Elizabeth and his parents. After explaining everything that he knew, Elizabeth sent him upstairs to try to get a little bit of rest. Peter decided that he needed a shower first, but ten minutes later he dropped wearily to the bed, his exhaustion finally overwhelming him.

Unlike Elizabeth, Peter fell instantly asleep. Unfortunately, his sleep was interjected with horrendous nightmares where Neal was calling out for him, screaming his name, but there was no way that Peter could get to him. Several times, Peter woke up, panic building desperately in his chest. It wasn't until the fourth time he woke up to find himself completely drenched in sweat, that he accepted the fact that he wasn't going to get any rest. He started to head into the bathroom to take another shower, but instead he found himself walking into Neal's room.

It was amazing to Peter that Neal could have settled into their lives so easily and so naturally. Peter remembered how unsure he was with the idea of fostering the child in the beginning. Elizabeth was so sure that they could handle it, but Peter had his doubts. He, of course, was happy that he had listened to his wife, but at the same time he couldn't help but feel that if they hadn't opened up their home and, more importantly, their hearts to Neal, they wouldn't be feeling the devastation they now felt. Not that he blamed his wife in the slightest.

Once in Neal's room, Peter climbed into the bed and covered himself with Neal's blanket. He was way too big for the little bed, his feet completely hanging off the end, but within minutes, Peter had fallen into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Neal had no idea what time it was, but he could tell by looking out the window that it was almost morning. He had spent the whole night on the couch…..cold, scared and hungry. Shawn had brought him some food, but Neal couldn't eat it, his stomach rolling chaotically at the sight of it. It had smelled awful, just like the blanket and the house.

Neal's refusal of the food made Shawn angry and he started yelling at the boy. This, of course, made Neal cry, which only made Shawn yell even louder. Finally, the woman that Neal had heard earlier came into the living room, yelling at both Neal and Shawn to shut up. Neal immediately stopped crying, his eyes widening when he saw the woman standing before him. _He knew her! She was the one that had taken him away from Peter the day that William was arrested. She was the one that took him to the foster homes he had stayed in._

Neal had been confused when he first saw her. He didn't remember her name, but he remembered that she had been nice to him. She had explained everything that was going to happen as they drove to the emergency group home that day. She had tried to make him feel better, acting as if she cared about him. _Why was she doing this to him now?_

After she had yelled at him to stop crying, Neal watched her as she paced in front of him. She was obviously nervous or upset about something and Neal could feel himself growing more nervous, too. Every few minutes she would stop and look at him, before starting her pacing again. Eventually she stopped and yelled at him again.

"Quit staring at me like that! You're driving me crazy!"

Neal looked down at his hands, wondering how something like that could drive her crazy. He stared at his hands for several minutes until he heard her start pacing again. Unfortunately, he looked up at her at the same moment she stopped and looked at him.

"I said quit staring at me," she exclaimed as she strode over to the sofa. Before Neal knew what was happening, she raised her hand and slapped him across the cheek. Neal's eyes immediately filled with tears and he couldn't stop the sobs that escaped him.

"Rhianna, stop! He's just a kid and he's scared." Shawn stepped over to where Neal was, placing himself in front of the boy. "Babe, you need to calm down. Like you said….. it's almost over, okay? We'll get our money and we'll finally get out of here."

The woman didn't say a word as she turned and walked out of the room. Shawn looked down at Neal and asked him if he needed anything, but he didn't answer. Instead, Neal had just curled up on the sofa and tried to cry quietly. That night he dreamt of William over and over again.

So, when he woke, his stomach was aching with hunger and he had cried so much the night before that his eyes were dried out and burning. As he lay there on the couch, he thought about the way Elizabeth would wake him up in the mornings with a kiss on his forehead, or how Peter would come to him and gently shake his leg to wake him. He thought about how Elizabeth would let him help her make breakfast in the mornings and how Peter would read his newspaper at the table, sometimes talking to himself without realizing it. He thought of Satchmo, who would always sit at his feet under the table, waiting for him to drop something or actually feed him from his plate. He thought so long and hard about it all that he actually thought he heard Elizabeth's voice. His heart ached when he realized that he was hearing Rhianna and Shawn talking in the kitchen.

Not knowing what else to do, Neal curled back up and went to sleep, this time dreaming of Elizabeth, Peter and Satchmo.

* * *

Peter woke up hours later and immediately called Diana to see if they had found anything. He was disappointed to hear that they had found where Shawn Clayton lived, but that according to his landlord, the man hadn't been seen for some time. The landlord was able to tell them that Shawn had a girlfriend that occasionally showed up, but unfortunately he didn't know her name. At least they had another avenue to search now, Peter thought to himself.

Jones was still working on trying to find out all he could on Neal's father, James Bennett. Peter had learned earlier that Caffrey was actually Neal's mother's maiden name. Searching for James Bennett had yielded very little so far. James had been a police officer in Washington, D.C. and apparently had been a corrupt cop. He had been killed in some kind of deal gone bad, leaving Elena Caffrey to raise her two year old son by herself. In vetting James Bennett, they had discovered that he was an only child and that his mother had died ten years prior to his own death. His father had abandoned his family years ago when James was only eight years old and Jones was in the process of checking him out. There was no other family on the Bennett side.

Elena Caffrey had no other family, either, other than her sister. Jim Dawson had had several of his agents working on finding Jenna Miller, just in case she had something to do with Neal's kidnapping, but when they finally found her there was no sign of Neal. Everything she told them legitimately checked out and Peter was forced to concede that she was innocent in everything but running off and leaving Neal with a man that had abused him.

Having to go home and tell Elizabeth that they still hadn't found him was one of the hardest things Peter had ever had to do. His wife looked broken and he wasn't sure how much more she could take before she was completely shattered.

* * *

Neal spent the day sitting on the sofa, mindlessly watching whatever was on the television. He brightened up a little when he caught the last half hour of the original Ocean's Eleven, but once it was over, the gloom sat back in. Every so often, Shawn would come in to check on him, but for the most part he was left alone. He finally ate a sandwich that the man brought to him, washing it down with milk that tasted funny and he made several trips to the bathroom, wondering if Elizabeth would be upset that he didn't take his bath last night.

Finally, around nine o'clock that night, Neal heard something that changed everything. He had been napping on the sofa, but woke up just as Shawn came to check on him. Neal didn't feel like talking to the man, so he pretended to be asleep, trying hard not to blink too much, just in case Shawn looked closely at him.

Before Shawn got too close, his phone rang, and Neal listened as the man answered it.

"Hey, babe…What did you find out?"

Neal could hear a woman's voice on the other end and knew it was Rhianna by the way Shawn answered it.

"Tomorrow?" Shawn asked. "So, where do we meet him?…But, that's so far away. It'll take us all day to get there!...I know babe, I'm just not looking forward to driving all the way to Chicago."

_Chicago?! _Neal knew somehow that he couldn't go to Chicago. He just knew deep in his soul that he couldn't let them take him to Chicago. There was only one thing he could do to stop that from happening. He had to run!

* * *

Author's note: Sorry for the wait, everyone. I had to work the last several days and my shift ends up being almost thirteen hours, so by the time I'm done working, I have just enough time to go home, sleep, get up, and do it all again. Anyway, here's a chapter for you and I really hope you can feel the desperation and anxiety that Peter, Elizabeth and Neal are feeling. It's kind of hard to put that down in writing, you know?

Thanks for reading, and as usual, I would love to hear your thoughts. I absolutely adore and cherish every review I get. Thank you so, so much.


	18. I Once Was Lost, But Now I'm Found

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 18

* * *

Neal knew he had to find a way to get away from the people who had taken him. He also knew that he was running out of time. Shawn had said that they would be leaving the next day, heading to Chicago, so Neal decided that he would have to leave that night. The problem was that he really didn't like the dark. It wasn't that he was scared of the dark; after all, he was five years old and almost grown-up. At least, that's what he tried to tell himself. He also knew that it was cold outside and probably raining. But, he really didn't have a choice. He _had_ to get out of there.

That evening he made sure that he ate as much as he could, which wasn't much because the smell of the food made him sick to his stomach. Once dinner was over, Neal went back to the sofa and curled up with the blanket. Rhianna had still not come back, so it was only Shawn he had to worry about. Neal stayed on the couch, listening to the sounds that Shawn was making in the bedroom. Eventually, the sounds quieted, leaving Neal to believe that Shawn had finally fallen asleep.

As quietly as he could possibly be, Neal went to the front door and tried to open it. Unfortunately, the door was locked with a chain at the top that he couldn't reach. Walking into the kitchen, he noticed that the back door was locked in the same manner. Looking around, Neal figured that he could reach the chain if he could get a chair over to the door. Minutes later, he was able to get the chair over to the door without making too much noise. It didn't take him long to unlock the door and suddenly Neal found himself outside in the moonlit night.

* * *

Peter was relieved to hear from Agent Dawson that they had a lead on the whereabouts of Shawn Clayton. They had tracked down several of his former co-workers and one of them had remembered that Clayton had a great-uncle that he stayed with occasionally on the outskirts of Brooklyn. A few hours later they had an address and Peter joined Agent Dawson's team as they went to check it out.

His relief soon turned to devastation when they arrived to find the house empty. There was evidence that someone had recently been there, but it would take time to determine if it was Neal. As he watched the ERT techs gathering fingerprints, Peter silently prayed that he would find Neal, and that he wouldn't have to go home without him again.

* * *

Neal hadn't gone very far when he heard noises behind him. At first, he thought that it must be a lion or a bear or maybe even a giant monster, but then he heard Shawn calling his name.

"Neal! Neal, where are you?" Shawn called out. "Come on, kid…..it's cold and dark out here."

Neal stopped running and looked behind him to find out how close Shawn was. He was still pretty far back, but Neal was afraid that he would catch up. Without thinking about how dangerous it was, Neal ran to the tallest tree he could find and quickly climbed it. He was freezing and tired, but he settled himself against a branch, prepared to stay there for a while.

As he watched, he saw Shawn draw closer and closer. He could tell that the man was really angry at having to search for him, so he made sure he wasn't breathing too loudly as he hugged the tree tightly. Shawn was almost directly underneath him, still calling out for Neal, who by this time had his eyes shut as he prayed frantically for Shawn to move on.

Finally, to Neal's great relief, Shawn moved out of the area. Neal let out the breath he was holding, wondering what he should do next. He thought about going to one of the nearby houses, but he remembered what Peter and Elizabeth had told him about talking to strangers. He finally decided to stay in the tree for a little longer, making sure that Shawn was truly gone. Then, he would climb down and make his way home.

* * *

Elizabeth didn't know what to do with herself, so she decided to bake some cookies. She was tired of thinking of everything that could go wrong and had decided to focus on the fact that her husband, one of the best agents the FBI had ever had, was out looking for Neal. If anyone could find him, it was Peter Burke. She would much rather be out looking for Neal herself, but she knew that she would just be in the way. So, she just did whatever she could to keep herself busy.

As she was baking, she could easily picture Neal standing on the little step stool as he helped her spoon out the cookie dough. She could picture him checking the cookies eagerly, waiting for them to be done. She smiled at the memory of the milk mustache he always got when he ate his cookies and drank his milk. She wanted to make sure that she had cookies ready for him when Peter brought him home.

* * *

After Neal thought he had been in the tree long enough, he climbed down and started walking. He wished that he had his coat, but he remembered taking it off when he got into the car at the bakery. Elizabeth had the heat turned up inside the car, so he didn't need his coat. Of course, Shawn didn't think to grab Neal's coat when he grabbed the kid out of the car. He had obviously just been thinking of getting away as fast as he could.

So, now Neal was freezing and to his dismay, it had started raining as well. Within minutes he was completely drenched, miserable and scared. Walking along the edge of the wood behind Shawn's house, he looked longingly at the warm houses he could see, wondering what the people inside were doing. His little legs were already hurting and his chest had started to ache again.

He didn't know how long he had been walking when he saw a garden shed with the door left slightly open. Without really thinking about it, he went inside the shed, eager to get out of the rain. He found an empty space among the garden tools and sat down, pulling his legs up to his chest and putting his arms around them.

Neal didn't even remember closing his eyes, but it was some time later that he was awakened by the sound of someone talking to him. He looked up into the face of a tall man who didn't look happy to find someone hiding out in his shed.

"Hey, kid….What are you doing in my shed? How did you get in here?"

Neal jumped to his feet and without saying a word, he ran around the man, narrowly escaping his grasp. He was surprised to see the sun shining outside when he went through the door. _How long had he been asleep?_ Neal kept on running as fast as his little legs would carry him. He ran until his chest was hurting too much for him to run anymore and when he finally stopped, he found himself standing at the edge of a small brook. Seconds later, he had fallen to his knees in exhaustion and he couldn't stop the tears that were falling down his face.

Neal sat by that brook for a long time, his chest burning, his stomach growling with hunger, and his legs aching. He was still so cold, but the sunshine did serve to warm him up a little. He also drank a little bit from the brook, so at least he wasn't thirsty anymore.

He had no idea what to do and he was terrified. _Where was Peter? Why hadn't Peter found him yet? Was he even looking? _Neal felt tears burning his eyes again, even though he felt like he had used up all of his tears earlier. Feeling bone tired, he pulled himself up and started walking. He had no idea where he was. Even though he hated to admit it, he was lost.

As he walked along the brook, he was so lost in his anxiety that he didn't hear the man call out to him until he was almost right in front of him.

"Hi, kid…What are you doing way out here? Are you lost?"

Neal looked up to see a short, bald man with glasses standing in front of him. He was too tired and weak to run off like he did the last time, so instead Neal just stopped walking and watched the man warily.

"Are you okay, kid? Are you hurt anywhere?"

"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers," Neal said in a soft voice.

"Very wise, kid," the man answered. "You never know who you can trust. It's better to keep your distance, and to always watch your back." The man looked around as if he expected to find someone watching him. Looking back at Neal, he continued to question him. "I know you're not supposed to talk to strangers, but since you walked into my camp, maybe you could tell me your name."

Neal looked at the man suspiciously before finally answering. "I'm Neal."

"Neal…..that's a nice name, kid. How old are you…..four?"

"I'm five," Neal said, outraged at being thought a four year old. "How old are you? A hundred?"

"What?!" Now it was the man's turn to be outraged, although he had a small smile on his face. "What makes you think I'm that old?"

Neal giggled at this. "You don't have any hair on your head, mister. That's what happens when you get old!"

The man was still looking insulted, but Neal could tell he wasn't serious about it. "I'll have you know, Neal, that I'm nowhere near a hundred, I'm just follicularly challenged. Now, what are you doing out here all alone?"

Neal wanted desperately to tell the man, so he could help him get back to Peter and Elizabeth, but he was afraid to. This man was still a stranger, even though he was really nice. Before Neal could decide on what to say, his stomach growled loudly, as if to remind him that it was still really hungry.

"Wow, kid….you must be hungry for your stomach to growl so fiercely. Now, normally I wouldn't suggest that you take food from a stranger, but I think we have found ourselves in an uncommon state of affairs. You're hungry, and I just happen to have some food. Stay right there, okay? I'll be right back."

Neal watched as the man scurried over to a strange looking van that he hadn't noticed before. Scurrying back, he held out a picnic basket for Neal to see. "I hope you have a refined palate, young man, because this basket is full of some of the world's finest cheeses. I hope you like caviar, as well."

The man set about laying out a thick blanket and pulling out the different items from the basket. Once he had everything laid out, he told Neal to take what he wanted. Neal looked over the different cheeses, breads and fruits, his tongue sticking out with his concentration. Finally, he picked out some cheese that looked like the cheese that Elizabeth sometimes ate, and he eagerly took a bite. Which he just as eagerly spit out…..

"What is that?!" he sputtered, still trying to get the taste out of his mouth. "Mister, I think your cheese is bad!"

The man laughed at the shocked look on the boy's face. "That's limburger cheese, Neal. It really isn't that bad. In fact, I'd say it smells worse than it tastes, right? Okay, well apparently, your palate is about as refined as most five year olds." Looking through the different cheeses, he picked one out and handed it to Neal. "Try this one. I think it will be more to your liking."

Neal hesitantly took a bite of the cheese the man had handed him and was pleased to see that it was one that he liked. He ate it slowly and meticulously, as he studied the man, who was just as diligently studying him. Eventually, the man started asking questions again.

"I'd wager a bet that there is someone out there looking for you, Neal. They must be very worried. I think I could help you to find them, if you'd like me to."

Neal almost started telling the man everything, but stopped himself. _Peter said to never talk to strangers. Never talk to strangers. Never talk to strangers._ He kept repeating this to himself while he was munching on the man's food. _What would Peter say about eating a stranger's food?_

"Listen, Neal…. I know what you're thinking and I don't blame you for being so cautious. In fact, I applaud it. However, we've found ourselves at a little impasse, haven't we? In order for us to move forward, we can no longer be strangers, so I'm prepared to extend my hand in friendship. Hi, Neal…..I'm Mozzie. It's nice to meet you."

Neal shyly shook the man's hand and remembered to be polite, like Elizabeth had told him to be. "It's nice to meet you, too, M-Mozzie."

"There! Now we're not strangers anymore and as my first official act as your friend, I'd like to help you get back home. How do you feel about that, Neal?"

Neal smiled at the man, thinking that this first act sounded wonderful. "I'd like that very much, Mozzie. I miss Lizbef and Peter and I'm tired of missing them. They lost me and I think Lizbef is probably really sad."

"I think she is, too, mon ami. So, why don't you tell me how you came to be out here all by yourself?"

* * *

Peter was still at Clayton's house when he heard a commotion outside. Running out with several other agents, he saw a few of their men chasing someone into the woods behind the house. Peter knew it had to be Clayton and for the first time in a while, he felt something akin to hope shoot through him. It took everything he had to not follow them into the woods, but he stayed where he was. He had faith that the agents wouldn't let the man slip through their fingers, especially knowing what was at stake.

After what seemed like hours to Peter, the agents emerged from the woods, leading a young man that looked to be in his late twenties or early thirties. Peter could feel his heart speeding up at the sight of them. Once they were nearly to where he was standing, he couldn't control himself any longer. He lunged forward, grabbing the front of Clayton's shirt, causing him to shrink back in fear.

"Where is he, Clayton?! What have you done with him?! I swear, if you've hurt him in any way, I'll kill you!"

Before Peter could say anything else, Agent Dawson was at his side, pulling him back. "Burke, let go! You need to step back! Let us do our jobs, okay?"

Peter fought to be let go from Dawson's grip, but quickly realized what he was doing. Throwing his hands up in the hair, signaling that he was willing to back off, Dawson let him go. Peter stood back and watched as the agents led Clayton to the house. He was surprised to see that somehow the sun had risen and that it was in fact almost mid-morning. He could barely recall the passing of the night. It was all just a jumbled mess of misery to him, as he had waited to hear something….anything.

He was surprised when Dawson allowed him to follow them into the house. He expected to be told to go home, but it seemed that Agent Dawson truly understood that he needed to be there. He knew that Dawson had kids of his own and he figured that that had something to do with it.

They pushed Clayton down into a chair at the table, cuffing his feet through the chair rail. The man looked terrified, which was always a good sign. Peter didn't figure it would take very long to get information out of the man. Looking around as one of the agents read Clayton his Miranda Rights, Peter noticed a chair that had been pushed off to the side of the back door. He wondered if Neal had used that chair to get out of the house. Maybe that's why Clayton was in the woods. Maybe he had been searching for Neal. For some reason the thought made him smile. The kid definitely wasn't lacking in the ingenuity department.

Seconds later, he was completely horrified to think that Neal was outside all alone. It had been cold last night and had even rained several times. The boy could have fallen down somewhere out there. He could have been kidnapped by someone else. So many horrible, awful things could have happened to him. Suddenly, Peter felt sick to his stomach.

* * *

They still hadn't gotten much information out of Clayton when the call came through. They knew that he was responsible for causing the accident that allowed him to take Neal, and they knew that he did indeed kidnap the boy. But, after that, the man wasn't giving up any more information. He had decided that the idea of having legal counsel present during the questioning was probably a good idea and he had shut completely up. They were at a standstill.

Agent Dawson received a phone call at that time, though, and was surprised when the person on the other end demanded to talk to Special Agent Peter Burke. "I'm in charge of the case, sir. If you have information pertaining to the kidnapping of Neal Caffrey you need to tell me."

Peter could tell that Dawson was growing angrier by the second and he was surprised when the agent held his phone out to him. "This man says he has information about Neal, but that he will only talk to you. He sounds like a nutcase."

Peter grabbed the phone and quickly identified himself. "Special Agent Peter Burke here. What do you know about Neal?"

"Tell Agent Dawson I heard what he said and that I am not a nutcase just because I don't prescribe to the common misconception that the Federal Bureau of Investigation is in charge of anything. In fact, by not prescribing to that misconception, I am substantiating the fact that I am of much higher intelligence than him."

Peter was quickly growing frustrated, too. "Please…..if you don't have anything worthwhile to tell me about Neal, I need to get off this phone, in case someone else does."

"I suppose that would depend on what you consider worthwhile, Suit. Is it worthwhile to know that Neal is sitting right in front of me at this very moment?"

Peter nearly dropped the phone at the man's words. "Are you serious?"

"Trust me, Suit, there is no way I would willingly call the FBI on my own. The little guy is right here in front of me, looking worried that you're going to be mad at him for talking to a stranger."

Peter couldn't stop the laugh that escaped him, or the desperation in his voice when he spoke again. "Please. Can I talk to him? I need to hear his voice."

Seconds later, he heard the sweetest sound he thought he had ever heard. "Peter?"

"Neal! Are you okay, bud? Are you hurt?"

"I'm okay, Peter. I just wanna go home, okay?"

"Okay, Neal. Let me talk to the man again, okay? He can tell me where you are and I'll come and get you as quick as I can."

Minutes later, Peter had discovered that Neal was just a few miles away. The man, who said his name was Dante Haversham, told Peter that he would meet them on the main road at milepost 33. Peter asked Dawson to only take a few agents, not wanting to scare Neal more than he already was. He also told him that he had promised the man that there wouldn't be any guns. It didn't take long to gather a few of his best agents, and within five minutes, they were on their way to get Neal.

Once they reached the appointed milepost, Peter watched as a multitude of cars drove by. He knew that they were looking for a VW van and he found it amazing that several of them had already passed. On any other day, he doubted that he would have even seen a single one drive by. Finally, they noticed a van slow down right by the mile marker, not coming to a complete stop, but inching along. Peter jumped out of the sedan with Dawson yelling at him to come back. He didn't care if he was following protocol or not. For some reason, he believed that the man only had Neal's best interests at heart. He didn't know why he felt that way, but he thought that maybe it had something to do with how Neal was on the phone. He didn't really sound scared, he just sounded tired.

As Peter stood there with his hands out to the side, showing the man that he had no intention of pulling out a gun, he watched as the driver's side door opened. A short, bald man stepped out and in his arms was a smiling Neal. The man put Neal down on the ground and within seconds Peter's arms were full of an extremely filthy, excited, and relieved little boy.

"I knew you'd find me, Peter…..I knew it!" Neal said.

Peter held on to the boy for a bit, but then gently pushed him away to get a better look at him. Other than being dirty and looking exhausted, he couldn't see any other physical signs of injury. Of course, Neal would have to get checked out at the hospital, but Peter knew that he would be okay.

Neal suddenly grabbed Peter's face with his little hands and looked him deep in the eyes. "I missed you, Peter. Did you miss me?"

"You have no idea, little man, how much you were missed!" Peter answered.

Peter looked up just in time to see the man who had brought Neal to him getting back into the van, despite being told to not move. To Peter's horror, several of the agents had their weapons out and trained on the man. Putting Neal down on the ground, he turned back to look at Jim Dawson.

"Agent Dawson," he yelled. "I told him there wouldn't be any guns. Please tell your men to lower their weapons."

At the same time that Peter was yelling that, Neal was yelling, too. "Don't shoot Mozzie! He's my friend!" With that, he ran back over to the open van door, escaping Peter's fingers by millimeters.

"Neal! Get back here!" Peter yelled. He couldn't believe the boy ran off, especially when there were several agents pointing guns in the same direction. "Neal!"

Peter yelled again at everyone to lower their weapons and they finally listened. Without wasting another second, Peter turned and ran toward the van, pulling himself up shortly in front of the door. "Haversham, hand him over!"

The short man gave Peter a sharp look before turning his attention on Neal. "Listen, Neal….they're not going to shoot me, okay? Your Special Agent Peter Burke gave me his word. So, you don't have to worry about me."

Neal didn't look convinced at all, especially when he saw Peter's hand resting on his holster. "Peter, please! I know I wasn't supposed to talk to strangers, but I had to because Mozzie said that we were at a um….a … uh….little um…..well, I don't remember what he said, but he helped me help you find me, Peter, and he doesn't deserve to be shot!"

Peter reached up and took Neal from the man's arms. "No one's getting shot today, Neal. I promise! Now, Mr. Haversham, if you could just answer a few questions for us….."

"I'll only talk to you, Suit. That other agent called me a nutcase, remember?"

"I'm sorry about that," Peter replied. "We were all under a lot of stress. I'd like to hear how you came to find Neal, if you don't mind."

* * *

After Peter had talked with the man that Neal had called Mozzie, he rode with the ambulance as it took Neal to the hospital to be checked out. Neal, of course, hadn't stopped talking since they got into the ambulance. Peter had to admit that the paramedics were exceptionally patient with the little boy.

"What does that do, John? Does that thing hurt? What about that? Do you use that a lot? You're not gonna use that on me, are you?"

The questions never seemed to end and Peter just sat back, savoring the sound of Neal's voice. Suddenly, he shot forward with a strange look on his face. "Damn it! I forgot to call El. She's going to kill me!" Pulling out his phone, he quickly called home. "El, I have someone here who wants to talk to you…."

He handed the phone over to Neal and smiled at the kid's words. "Hi, Lizbef...It's me, Neal! Peter found me!"

* * *

Author's note: Well, Neal is finally safe with Peter. Yay! And Mozzie has arrived! Things are looking up for our little family, but don't worry... it's not over yet. We still don't know who is behind the kidnapping, right? And do you really think they're going to give up that easily?

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. As always, thanks for reading and reviewing. And to all the guest reviewers, I wish I could reply to each of you, but just know that I appreciate all of you. Readers who take the time to review make me so happy! And when I'm happy, I want to write more, lol.


	19. Right Where You Belong

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 19

* * *

Elizabeth's legs buckled and she suddenly found herself sitting on the kitchen floor when she heard Neal's voice. She hadn't heard from Peter in over six hours, so when her phone rang she was expecting to hear that there was nothing new to report. Instead, she heard the sweetest sound she had ever heard.

"Hi, Lizbef. It's me, Neal! Peter found me!"

"Neal? Oh, thank God! Is it really you, sweetie?"

Neal giggled. "Of course, it's me, Lizbef. Don't you remember what I sound like?"

"Of course I remember what you sound like, sweetie. I just thought I might be dreaming."

"Nope, it's awake me, not dream me," he giggled again. "And guess what? I made a new friend, Lizbef! His name is Mozzie and he's really nice and he doesn't have any hair. He gave me lots of cheese to eat and he helped Peter find me. Do you want to meet him?"

"I'd love to meet him, Neal. He sounds like a great friend."

"He is, Lizbef. But, don't ask him how old he is, okay? He doesn't like that. And you wanna know something else? He had this really smelly cheese and he didn't even get mad at me when I tried it and spit it back out. I don't ever want to eat that smelly cheese again!"

Elizabeth laughed at that. "Oh, Neal….I've missed you so much! Is Peter bringing you home?"

"I don't know, Lizbef, but I'm riding in a ambulance. Peter? Lizbef wants to know if we're coming home."

Seconds later, Peter was back on the phone. "El? He's fine. We're on our way to the hospital to get him checked out. We'll be home right after that, okay?"

"Are you insane, Peter?! Do you really think I'm just going to wait here until you get home?! I'll meet you at the hospital." Elizabeth hung up the phone and ran to tell Richard and Nancy the good news. Within fifteen minutes, they were on their way to the hospital.

* * *

Peter was sitting in the emergency room waiting room when his wife and parents arrived. He moved quickly to his wife, pulling her into his arms. "The doctor wanted to do a CT scan to make sure his chest and head is okay. He has a large bruise across his chest from the seat belt, just like you and mom. Other than that, and a few bumps and scratches, he looked fine, El. The doctor said he's probably a little dehydrated, so they're going to give him some IV fluids."

"I need to see him, Peter!" Elizabeth said, impatiently. "I need to hold him!"

"I know, hon. The nurse said she'd come and get us as soon as they were done with the CT."

Just as Peter finished his sentence, the door opened and a young woman called his name. Peter grabbed his wife's hand and led her through the doors, following the nurse into Neal's room. Elizabeth immediately ran to Neal, pulling him into her arms.

"Lizbef!" Neal cried. "See? I told you it was really me!"

Elizabeth cried as she held onto Neal. All of the desperation, fear, and anxiety she had been feeling over the last several days finally caught up with her and she couldn't control the sobs that escaped her. Feeling Neal's body in her arms soothed the ache she had been feeling for so many days. Feeling his back rising with each breath he took and feeling his heart beat against her chest allowed her to let go of every emotion she had held inside since he had been taken.

Peter didn't know what to do as he watched his wife cling to Neal. He was surprised that the boy just stayed there, allowing Elizabeth to do what she needed to do, but then he realized that Neal was holding on to Elizabeth just as tightly as she was holding onto him.

The nurse arrived a few minutes later and explained to Peter and Elizabeth that she was going to have to put an IV into Neal in order to rehydrate him. Once she explained it to Neal, he looked up nervously at Peter. "I don't want it, Peter, okay? Can you tell the doctor that? Please?"

Peter sat down on the gurney next to Neal. "I know you don't want it, bud, but the doctor thinks you need it. You haven't had very much to eat or drink in a few days, remember? Your body is thirsty."

"But, I did, Peter. Mozzie gave me some cheese. He was going to give me a drink, too, but all he had was stuff that looked like grape juice. He said it was grown-up grape juice and that I couldn't have any."

"Neal, you've been so brave the last few days and Elizabeth and I are so proud of you, but I'm going to ask you to cowboy up one more time, okay? Let the nice nurse do what needs to be done, so we can go home. Papa and Nana Nan are waiting to see you and I know for a fact that Satchmo really misses you."

Neal gave Peter a sad look, but nodded his head. "Okay, Peter."

Instead of letting go of Elizabeth, he just turned around in her lap and looked at the nurse, who was smiling at him. "Neal, I'm not going to lie to you, okay? This might hurt just a little bit, but only for a few seconds. If you can try to hold really still for me, I'll be done super fast."

The nurse explained everything that she was doing, step by step, and before Neal even knew it, she was done. "Wow! You did great, Neal. You sure are a tough little guy."

"That's because I'm five," Neal answered as he watched the nurse wrap up the IV.

* * *

After Neal received some IV fluids to rehydrate him, the doctor came back in to talk to Peter and Elizabeth. They were relieved to hear that the CT scan was normal and that the pain Neal felt in his chest was just from the bruising the seat belt had given him. The doctor told them that they could take Neal home, but that they should make sure that he took it easy for a few days. That would be easier said than done, Peter thought.

Once they left the treatment area of the emergency room, Neal was happy to see Richard and Nancy waiting for him. He told them all about how the nurse put a needle in his arm and he didn't even cry. Then he told them all about his new friend, Mozzie. Nana Nan smothered him with kisses and Papa Richard kept hugging him. Before too long, though, he found himself being held by Elizabeth again, not that he minded at all.

The ride home was filled with Neal's excited chatter, although it was interrupted by frequent yawns. He seemed to steer clear of talking about anything that happened before he met Mozzie, although he did mention something about sleeping in someone's garden shed. The four adults in the car were amazed at how smart and brave Neal had been in the last few days.

By the time they reached home, Neal had fallen asleep against Elizabeth's side, one of his hands grasping a clump of her hair. Peter picked him up and carried him in the house, with Richard, Nancy, and Elizabeth following close behind. Once inside, he started up the stairs to Neal's room, but was stopped by his wife's voice.

"Peter, can't he stay down here for a little while? I'm not ready to take my eyes off of him yet."

Peter sat down on the sofa, feeling Elizabeth sit down next to him. Richard and Nancy sat down in the armchairs across from them and for the longest time the four of them just looked at the sleeping boy and listened to his gentle breathing.

* * *

Once they were ready to go to bed, Elizabeth insisted on Neal sleeping in their bed. The boy was in desperate need of a bath, but the hospital staff had at least cleaned him up a little. Peter wouldn't admit it, but he knew he would prefer Neal to sleep with them, too. It seemed he wasn't ready to take his eyes off of him, either.

As Neal slept between them, Peter and Elizabeth watched him for hours, each holding one of his hands. Eventually, they both fell asleep and for the first time in days, all three of them slept well.

* * *

Elizabeth and Peter woke up early the next morning, not surprised to find Neal in his customary almost upside down position. Peter lifted him to straighten him up in the bed and then the two of them watched him sleep again. They had come so close to losing him .

Elizabeth listened as her husband explained what little they knew about Neal's kidnapping. Shawn Clayton had lawyered up so quickly that they really didn't get anything important out of him. Elizabeth wasn't happy to hear that Peter was going to have to take Neal in to the FBI building for questioning, but she knew it was important. They both knew that Shawn Clayton definitely wasn't the mastermind behind any of it, which meant that there was still someone out there who wanted Neal, for some reason.

As Peter continued to explain what they had pieced together, Elizabeth's concern for Neal grew. The poor child must have been so scared and she wondered at the resilience he had shown. Other than the way he clung to her while they were at the hospital, he really didn't seem that worse for wear. Elizabeth wasn't stupid, though. She knew that he would have some post-traumatic stress and anxiety from everything and knew that she should call Dr. Lennox as soon as her office opened.

Eventually, Neal started showing signs of waking up and finally he opened his tired eyes to find Peter and Elizabeth staring at him. They waited patiently to see what he would say and then they both laughed at his first words. "Lizbef? Do we have any cookies?"

Elizabeth gathered Neal up into her arms, smothering his face with kisses until he started giggling. "Lizbef! You're gonna kiss all my face off! Peter, help!"

Peter snatched Neal from his wife's arms. "Don't worry, Neal….I'm here to save you!" With that, Peter started kissing Neal's face, too, causing the boy to giggle even harder.

"Peter, stop! I have to go to the bathroom!"

Peter immediately stopped, not wanting to cause the boy to have an accident. "Up you go, kid. And while you're in there, I think it's time for a bath, okay?"

Neal rolled his eyes. "I knew you were gonna say that, Peter."

Peter followed Neal into the bathroom, starting the bath water while Neal used the toilet. Once Neal was done, Peter helped him undress, pausing to take a good look at the large bruise on the boy's chest. Other than a few small abrasions on his arms and a small scratch on the left side of his neck, Peter didn't notice anything else.

Neal played with his toys for a while until Peter suggested they finish up so they could go get breakfast. He gently washed Neal's hair and then took a washcloth to his dirty face.

"Ow!" Neal cried when Peter was washing his left cheek.

"What's wrong, Neal? Is your cheek sore?"

Neal nodded, bringing his hand up to cover his cheek. Peter turned the boy's head, trying to see if there was a scratch or something that would cause him pain. Instead, he saw a faint bruise. "Neal? Do you know what happened to your cheek? You've got a bruise there, bud."

Neal's eyes filled with tears and a frown settled on his face. "Rhianna hit me!" he cried. "And it really hurt, Peter!"

Peter's face reddened and he could feel his blood pressure rising. _Someone slapped Neal?_ "Who is Rhianna, Neal?"

Neal's face clouded over again. "She's the lady that took me away from you, Peter, remember?"

Peter was confused. Evidence showed that it had been Shawn Clayton that had taken Neal out of the car, but Neal was telling him that it had been a woman named Rhianna. None of it made sense.

"Neal, are you sure it was her? I thought that Shawn took you from the car."

"Shawn did take me from the car, Peter. And then he took me to his house and she was there."

Peter was even more confused. "Okay, buddy…..but you just said that she was the lady that took you away. What did you mean by that?"

"She took me away from you that day that William went away. You said I had to cowboy up, remember? And then she took me to stay at that house that had the big tree."

Peter couldn't completely wrap his mind around what Neal was saying. "Are you saying that Rhianna is Ms. Barnett, buddy? The lady from Child Protective Services?"

Neal nodded. "It was her, Peter. I remembered. I don't like her anymore, either. She's mean."

Peter felt his anger explode and couldn't stop the expletives that escaped him. Neal looked at him with wide eyes, having never heard such words come out of Peter's mouth. In his defense, Peter didn't even realize that he had said them out loud. All he knew was that he needed to let Agent Dawson know this new bit of information, as soon as possible. He quickly finished washing Neal and then gently toweled him off before taking him into his room to get some clean clothes. Minutes later, he headed downstairs, still holding Neal in his arms. He wasn't surprised to see that his parents were awake and waiting somewhat impatiently for Neal. He also wasn't surprised to see Neal run immediately to his mother once he put him down.

"Nana Nan, guess what? Peter said a lot of bad words, but you probably shouldn't tell Lizbef. She doesn't like it when he says bad words in front of me. If you tell her, she might make Peter go to bed early or sit in the time-out chair. I don't think Peter would like that, do you? "

Neal smiled innocently up at his new grandmother, who immediately scowled at her son. "Peter Timothy Burke! What were you thinking using foul language in front of Neal? I have half a mind to wash your mouth out with soap like I did when you were twelve!"

Peter groaned at that memory. "Neal, don't you ever repeat any of those words I said, do you hear me?"

Neal just looked up at his foster dad with concern. "Did you really have to eat soap, Peter? I bet that tasted worse than the smelly cheese Mozzie gave me!"

"You have no idea, little man!"

* * *

That afternoon Peter took Neal in to be questioned by Agent Dawson. What they discovered was that Rhianna Barnett and Shawn Clayton had obviously kidnapped Neal for someone else. Neal could recall the fact that they were planning on taking him away to hand him over to someone else, but he couldn't remember where they were going to take him. Peter couldn't help but be a little frustrated, knowing that if they knew where he was going to be taken, they would have at least had a place to start looking.

Rhianna Barnett had been taken into custody earlier that day, but she, of course, hadn't been very forthcoming about anything. Shawn Clayton had cracked a little bit during questioning, but the only information he had given up was the fact that the man they were working for was somehow related to Neal. This, too, had frustrated Peter, because they had been searching for information on Neal's family for months already, without finding anything.

Neal was excited to be back at the FBI building. He was even more excited that Peter let him ride the elevator all the way to the top and back down again, pushing as many buttons as he wanted to. Once they were up at the top, Neal asked Peter if they could visit his friend, Agent Rob. Peter promised him that they would find him after the questioning was all done.

Neal had handled the questioning fairly well for a five year old. Peter had to tell him a few times to sit still and to pay attention, but for the most part, he did well. Peter could tell that the boy was scared at remembering everything that had happened to him, but with a few encouraging looks from him, he muddled through. When he had told them everything he could remember, Peter had Diana take him to get a snack, while he talked with Agent Dawson.

Finally, it was time for Neal to find Agent Rob and he excitedly led Peter into the elevator. Luckily, Peter knew what floor to go to and minutes later they were standing in the ERT unit asking for Rob Davidson. Agent Davidson walked out of an office, happy to see Neal.

"Agent Rob!" Neal cried as he ran to the man. "Peter told me you helped him find me!"

Agent Davidson picked Neal up and gently swung him around, making him laugh. "I did, Neal. When Agent Burke told me they were looking for you, I worked as hard as I could to find you. I'm glad it helped."

"Me, too, Agent Rob. And you know what? When I grow up I'm going to work with you. Lizbef said that I'm good at finding things that are lost when I found her earring under the bed this morning."

"Well, we can sure use someone like you, then, kid. There are a lot of lost things in this world."

"I have to finish kindergarten first, okay? And Lizbef probably won't let me do it until I'm old like Peter."

"Hey, little man," Peter said. "How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not old? Would an old man be able to do this?" Peter picked Neal up and tossed him over his shoulder, forgetting that his chest was still bruised and sore. When Neal cried out, Peter quickly brought him back around to the front and looked at him. "Neal, I'm sorry, bud. I forgot about your bruise. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, Peter. Just don't forget again, okay? That hurt!"

"Do you need some medicine, Neal? It seems to help with the pain, doesn't it?" Peter asked.

"I don't like that medicine. It tastes yucky." He looked up at Peter with a mischievous expression on his face. "I think if we rode the elevator more, I'd feel better, Peter."

* * *

When they got home, Peter, Elizabeth and Neal said goodbye to Richard and Nancy. Neal was sad to see them go, but Elizabeth reassured him that they would visit soon. Once they had left, Elizabeth sent Neal up to take a bath. Neal wasn't happy about that, at all.

"Lizbef, I already took a bath today, remember? I don't want to take another one. What if I turn into a prune? Peter said that happens if you take too many baths."

"That's not what I said, Neal, but nice try. And do you really want to argue with Elizabeth when she's making your favorite dinner? Let's just get it over with."

Elizabeth smiled at the adorable pout on Neal's face. The kid always argued about taking a bath, but once he was in the tub, he played happily with his toys. Peter followed Neal up the stairs and into the bathroom, starting the water while Neal got undressed. Neal climbed in the tub, but instead of grabbing his toys and playing, he looked up at Peter.

"Peter? Shawn and Rhianna won't take me again, will they? I want to stay here with you."

"Shawn and Rhianna are going away for a long time, Neal. You don't have to worry about them anymore." Peter reassured Neal that he was safe, but he really didn't feel reassured himself. How was he supposed to protect Neal when he didn't know who he had to protect him from? He couldn't keep the boy in his sight every second of every day, even though that was exactly what he wanted to do. Eventually, Neal would have to go back to school. Eventually, they would have to allow him to go out into the backyard to play with Satchmo. Eventually, he would have to be able to sleep in his own bed.

"Peter? Are you mad at me?"

Peter looked at Neal in confusion, wondering what the boy was thinking. "Why would I be mad at you, buddy?"

"Because I was disbedient, Peter. I talked to a stranger and I know I'm not supposed to do that. I tried not to, but I was tired and Mozzie was really nice, and I really wanted to come home. I climbed a tree, too, when Shawn was looking for me. I was really careful, though, I promise. I tried really hard to not be disbedient, Peter, and I don't want you to be mad at me."

Peter, who had been sitting on the edge of the tub, sat down on the floor and looked Neal in the eye. "Listen to me, Neal. I am absolutely _not_ mad at you! I am extremely proud of you, little man. You were so brave and so smart, and because of that, we were able to find you. Do you understand?"

Neal gave Peter a huge smile. "Does that mean you'll read me a story tonight?" he asked hopefully.

"I think I'll read you three stories, bud. We're a little behind, aren't we?"

"Okay, Peter…..I'll let you read me three stories, if you want. I know how much you missed it."

Peter laughed as Neal picked up his favorite boat and started playing in the water. He wasn't sure how he was going to protect Neal, but for now the little boy was safe at home. Right where he belonged…..

* * *

Author's note: Still not a lot of answers on who is actually behind the kidnapping, but you know what they say…Good things come to those who wait. For now, we can all revel in the fact that our little family has been reunited, right?

There were a few reviews that brought to my attention a few things that might need to be clarified. One reviewer thought that Neal's recovery from everything was unrealistic, but I hope that this chapter cleared that up a little. In the last chapter, Peter's assessment of Neal being fine was that of someone only looking at the outward signs of injury. Peter knew, though, that Neal needed to be checked out more thoroughly, which is what happened in this chapter.

Another reviewer commented on the fact that it was sad to see that Neal didn't really trust Peter and that their bond wasn't that strong. In my mind, Neal's trust in anyone is clouded by the uncertainty of what he went through with Jenna and William. I think that Neal trusts Peter more than anyone else, but it is still a very fragile trust. I ask that you all give him time. That bond will eventually be strong, I promise.

Thank you all so much for your honest reviews. I appreciate it when a reviewer tells me things that aren't working for them or doesn't make sense in a story. It gives me a chance to either fix it or explain my reasoning for it. If you feel like you want more explanation, feel free to pm me. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. There is more to come soon.


	20. I Will Always Love You

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 20

* * *

It wasn't long before things returned to a routine of sorts, even if Peter and Elizabeth weren't quite ready for it. Neal had to eventually go back to school and they both had to return to work. Neal was back to having nightly nightmares, although they were of a different sort after his kidnapping. Dr. Lennox had opened up an appointment for them as soon as she heard what had happened, and Neal had already seen her on two separate occasions. She explained to Peter and Elizabeth that the recent events would undoubtedly cause a setback in Neal's progress, more than likely making him clingier, more irritable, and overall scared.

That much was evident when Peter tried to drop Neal off at school. Despite his repeated assurances that Rhianna and Shawn were behind bars, and that there was an agent keeping watch over the school, Neal didn't want to go inside. "What if they escape from jail, Peter? What if William escapes? I don't want to go away again."

Peter didn't blame Neal for being scared, but he was feeling a familiar frustration building up inside of him. Part of that frustration stemmed from the fact that he felt some of the same fears himself. _What if Rhianna and Shawn escaped from jail? What if William escaped? What if whoever was behind everything made another move?_ Suddenly, Peter wanted to bundle Neal up and run away with him.

By this time, Neal was in tears and Peter knew that it was a lost cause. There was no way he could put Neal through something that was obviously traumatizing him. "Okay, bud….What do you say we head back home, huh? Maybe stop and get a smoothie along the way? As long as you don't tell Elizabeth, we could even get some cookies."

Neal's face brightened at that and he tried to control the sobs that were racking his body. "O-okay, Peter. I won't tell Lizbef," Neal sniffled.

As Peter watched him in the rearview mirror, he could see the little body take several deep shuddering breaths before finally looking a little calmer. He tried to make small talk with the boy and eventually Neal was chattering away at whatever popped in his mind. Once they got to a little coffee shop that Peter liked to stop at, he seated Neal down at a table and ordered them both a drink. Neal's eyes lit up when he saw the waitress place a strawberry smoothie with whip cream in front of him, followed by a plate of still warm cookies. Peter sat quietly and drank his coffee as he watched Neal dig into his treat and continue to chatter away.

* * *

Once they were done at the coffee shop, Peter drove over to Elizabeth's office to explain the morning to her and to try to figure out what they were going to do. Elizabeth wasn't really surprised to hear that the morning hadn't gone well and she had a few ideas of how to tackle it all.

"I think we need to get him a tutor, hon. Someone that can come to the house and work with him. I could do it myself, but we're getting into the busy holiday seasons now and I have quite a few events coming up. I was also thinking that maybe we could find a babysitter for him while we're working."

Neal, who had been drawing on a blank piece of paper on Elizabeth's desk, looked up at that. "I don't need a babysitter, Lizbef. I'm not a baby!" Neal had an adorable look of indignation on his face that caused both Peter and Elizabeth to laugh.

"Of course, you're not a baby, sweetie," Elizabeth reassured him. "I just meant that we need someone to stay with you while Peter and I are working, that's all."

"Oh," Neal said. "Satchmo can stay with me, Lizbef. He wouldn't let anything happen to me. Or how about Mozzie?! He'd be a great babysi- um, I mean…..he could stay with me!"

Peter and Elizabeth shared a look. "Neal, Satchmo's a dog, buddy, and although I think he would protect you with everything he had, I don't really see him making your lunch or helping you with your homework. As for Mozzie…well, we don't really know him, do we?"

"I know him, Peter. I know he's funny and nice, and he's really smart. He liked my jokes, too. And you know what else? He loves Frank Sinatra. He told me so when he put a CD in to listen to."

"Neal," Peter laughed. "Just because someone is funny and nice and has good taste in music doesn't mean they're qualified to take care of children. Besides, I don't know how to find him. I don't even know his full name."

"I know how to find him, Peter. He gave me his phone number, just in case I ever needed help, he said."

"I'm sorry, buddy….we're going to have to find someone more appropriate."

Neal didn't look happy at that, but he didn't say anything else as he turned back to his drawing. Peter and Elizabeth talked a little more before it was decided that Neal would stay with her at the office. She figured that she would probably be done in a few hours and then she could take Neal home.

* * *

By the time Peter came home that evening, Elizabeth and Neal were both in a cranky mood. Unbeknownst to Elizabeth, Neal had a headache and his throat was feeling scratchy. He tried to hide this from Elizabeth, figuring that she would probably make him take a nap. He wasn't tired, he just didn't feel good. Elizabeth didn't feel well herself, so she set Neal up at the dining room table with his crayons, coloring pencils and coloring books, asking him to play quietly while she rested on the sofa.

He spent most of the afternoon doing just that, but eventually he grew bored and not wanting to sit at the table anymore, he jumped down. It was time to find something else to do. Neal looked over at Elizabeth, who had fallen asleep, and decided to let her sleep. He didn't want to play with any of his other toys and he couldn't go outside with Satchmo. Watching television would disturb Elizabeth's nap, so he couldn't do that. After thinking for a few minutes, Neal decided to go exploring. He had been down in the basement a few times, but only to help Elizabeth carry up the laundry, so he decided he would go down there and explore.

Opening up the basement door, Neal almost backed out of his plan. It seemed awfully dark down there. After turning on the light, though, it didn't seem as scary. He called out to Satchmo, always feeling safer with the dog by his side, and walked down into the basement. On the other side of the laundry room was a storage section that was filled with plastic containers and boxes. Neal's curiosity got the better of him and minutes later he was elbow deep into a container that was full of treasures.

* * *

Elizabeth woke up, feeling out of sorts and confused. Looking at the clock on the mantel, she was surprised to see that it was almost five o'clock and that she had been asleep for almost two hours. Her heart lurched at the thought of Neal being alone all that time and she jumped up immediately. She wasn't sure if she really expected the boy to still be sitting at the table, but her heart lurched again when she realized that he wasn't there.

"Neal? Neal, where are you?" Quickly checking the front and back doors, she was relieved to see that they were still locked. She also realized that Satchmo wasn't around, which made her feel a little calmer, too. If something had happened to Neal, Satchmo would have let her know.

Continuing to call out his name, Elizabeth went upstairs to look for him. Maybe the boy had fallen asleep in his room. Maybe he was up there drawing on his chalkboard wall. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found on the second floor. That left only one place left to look, so Elizabeth hurried back downstairs and straight to the basement door.

* * *

Neal had found all sorts of treasures, but the real treasure was found in a small box, buried deep in the bottom of one of the plastic containers. The box itself was a thing of beauty, ornately carved wood depicting a scene of a father and son fishing on a lake. Neal ran his fingers over the box for several long seconds, liking the way the smooth wood felt, before opening it up to reveal what was inside.

The second Neal realized what it was, he knew he should leave it alone, but his impetuousness and natural inquisitiveness led him to take the object out of the box. He had only ever touched a gun once before, but he had seen Peter's gun multiple times. Neal wasn't necessarily scared of guns, but he surely didn't like it when Peter and the other agents had pulled their guns on Mozzie. He had a healthy respect for guns, instilled in him by his mother at a young age. Neal didn't really remember his father, other than the few times his mother spoke of him, but he did remember that his mother always kept his father's gun in the drawer next to her bed. He remembered that one time he had opened up the drawer to look at the gun, but his mom had walked through the door just as he picked it up. Neal remembered his mom swatting him on the backside four times and telling him to never, ever touch a gun again. Afterwards, she had apologized for spanking him, telling him that she had just been so scared when she saw him there holding the gun. She went on to explain to him how dangerous guns were when you didn't know how to use them and Neal remembered promising her that he would never touch a gun again.

He felt guilty at breaking that promise to her now, but he continued to stare at the gun he held in his hand. It was older than the one Peter had, and Neal was surprised at how heavy it seemed. Lifting it up, he pointed it at the wall across from him, wondering what it would feel like to shoot it. Would it be loud? Just as he was about to put it back in the box, he heard a loud gasp come from behind him.

"Neal George Caffrey! Put that thing down! Right now!"

* * *

Elizabeth walked down the basement stairs, wondering what in the world Neal could be up to. Once she was downstairs, she quickly found evidence that Neal had been going through boxes and boxes of things. She really didn't even remember what was in the boxes, since most of it had been there for over ten years. To her absolute horror, her eyes finally landed on Neal, only to find him standing there holding a gun in his hand. For the first time in her life, Elizabeth knew what it meant to nearly die of shock.

"Neal George Caffrey! Put that thing down! Right now!" Elizabeth ran over to where Neal was and grabbed the gun carefully out of his hand. "Oh my God, where did you get this, Neal?"

Neal's eyes filled with tears as he looked at Elizabeth, who had yelled rather loudly at him. "I f-f-found it in the box, Lizbef," he cried.

"You know better than to touch a gun, young man. I remember Peter telling you that just a few nights ago. What were you thinking?"

"I just wanted to look at it, Lizbef. I wasn't going to pull the trigger, I promise!"

"Neal, you are never, ever, EVER to touch another gun again, do you hear me? Never!"

Elizabeth reminded him so much of his mother in that moment that he maneuvered himself away from her, just in case she thought he deserved a spanking, too. He couldn't bear the thought of Elizabeth being angry enough to do that. "I'm sorry, Lizbef. I promise I won't!"

Elizabeth quickly put everything except the gun back into the boxes while Neal watched on in silence. Once she was done, she grabbed Neal's hand in hers and led him back upstairs. Neal wasn't surprised to see her grab the time-out chair and place it in the corner.

"Sit down, young man. I want you to sit there and think about what you did, okay? Guns are not meant for children, Neal, and I want you to think about why that is."

Neal quietly sat down in the chair, huge crocodile tears streaming down his face. He didn't like it when Elizabeth was mad at him. He liked it even less when he heard her next words.

"When Peter gets home, we're going to tell him what happened and then we're going to have a talk about guns."

* * *

Unfortunately, Peter had to work late at the office. Elizabeth and Neal, who had spent almost twenty minutes in the time-out chair before being sent to his room, were sitting at the dinner table when Peter finally got home. The minute he walked in the door, he could tell that something was wrong.

"Hey, guys….I'm sorry I'm late. Busy day at the office. What are we having for dinner?"

Usually, by this time, Neal had jumped on Peter, telling him everything about the day he had had and chattering non-stop. The Neal he was facing at the moment was a subdued, pale Neal. Peter couldn't help but notice that the same could be said of Elizabeth.

"El? What's going on? Did something happen?"

Elizabeth shot a quick glance at Neal before answering. "Why don't you eat first, hon? We can talk about it when you're done."

"I ate something at the office, El, so I'm really not that hungry. Now, will you please tell me what has both of you upset?"

Elizabeth suggested that they all go into the living room where they could be more comfortable. After they were all settled, Elizabeth spoke. "I fell asleep on the sofa this afternoon, Peter, while Neal was drawing at the table. I didn't mean to, but my head was hurting a little and I just wanted to close my eyes for a few minutes. When I woke up, Neal was gone. I searched the house and finally found him down in the basement. He was going through a bunch of old boxes and containers, Peter, and he found the one with your grandfather's stuff in it. From the war….."

Peter's face paled at that, remembering that his grandfather's service revolver was in there. Before he could say anything, Elizabeth continued. "Neal, I want you to tell Peter what you did, okay?"

Neal looked miserable and Peter had a flashback to how he always thought his brothers looked when they had been caught doing something. He knew he must have always looked the same way. He had always hated it when his father made him and his brothers confess their misbehavior to him, even though he already knew the story. His father thought that it forced the boys to take responsibility for their actions, something that he now understood.

Neal, who was sitting on the sofa next to Elizabeth, looked up at Peter with his big blue eyes. Peter thought that it would be better if he could blindfold the kid whenever he was in trouble. It was torture looking into those eyes and trying to discipline the kid. Finally, after several long seconds, Neal started talking.

"I found a gun, Peter. It was in a box and I didn't know what it was until I opened it. I just wanted to look at it. I wasn't going to shoot it, I promise."

Peter felt terror shoot through him at the thought of Neal finding that gun. He was pretty sure that it was unloaded, but he wasn't a hundred percent sure. He had been close to his grandfather and when the man died, Peter asked to keep some of his mementoes. His grandfather had often talked of the days of the war with his grandson, so when Peter's grandmother had given him all of his things from the war, Peter had been overwhelmed. He had put them all down in the basement, with the idea that he would go through it all one day. Unfortunately, that day had never come for Peter. Every time he thought he might be ready to go through it all, he found that he wasn't ready. Now, he wished that he would have taken the time, so all of this could have been avoided.

Now looking at the little boy that he was supposed to protect, he felt guilt and anger wash over him. "Neal? Did you touch the gun, son?"

Neal nodded his head, his curls flopping on his forehead. "I'm sorry, Peter," he said, miserably. "I knew I wasn't supposed to, but my hand wasn't listening to me. It made me pick it up."

Peter looked sternly at the boy in front of him. "Enough of that, Neal," he said strictly. "We just talked about how dangerous guns were a few days ago, remember? I distinctly remember telling you that if you ever came across a gun anywhere, that you were to leave it alone and find an adult. Do you remember that?"

"I remember, Peter," Neal said sadly.

"Well, then why did you pick it up, if you knew you weren't supposed to?"

"I just wanted to see what it felt like," Neal whispered. "And, I wanted to be like you, Peter."

Peter's anger softened a little at those words, but not much. "I appreciate that, Neal, but you deliberately disobeyed Elizabeth and me. You knew you weren't supposed to touch that gun, but you did anyway. I'm very disappointed, little man."

Neal looked like he was about to cry, his eyes filled with tears and his lower lip quivering. "I don't like it when you're dispointed, Peter. I don't like it, at all."

"Maybe you can remember that the next time you're thinking about disobeying me, okay?" Peter gave Elizabeth a small smile before continuing. "Now, let's talk about consequences…."

"I already had consequences, Peter! Lizbef made me sit in the time-out chair for hours. I don't want more consequences," Neal whined.

"Sorry, little man, but there will be more consequences. What you did was very serious, especially because we had just talked to you about the dangers of guns. So, in addition to Elizabeth's consequence, you'll go to bed early tonight and tomorrow, and our trip to the museum this weekend will have to be postponed."

Neal was clearly not happy to hear any of that, but he was relieved that he wasn't going to get a spanking. He was also relieved to hear that Peter didn't say anything about his bedtime story. He really didn't want to miss out on that.

"Okay, kid, do you understand completely what you're to do if you ever find a gun again? Or if one of your friends ever shows you a gun?"

"I won't touch it, I promise. And I'll get a grown-up."

"Don't forget that, okay? Because if it happens again, you really won't like the consequences. Now, I think it's time for your bath and then bed."

Neal stood up to go upstairs, but stopped in front of Elizabeth. "I'm sorry for being disbedient, Lizbef. Are you dispointed, too?"

"I am, Neal, because I know what a smart boy you are. I know you remembered what Peter said about guns, so I'm disappointed that you disobeyed us. But, you're forgiven, okay?"

Neal looked sadly at Elizabeth. "Do you still love me, Lizbef?" he whispered.

Elizabeth immediately pulled Neal into her arms, holding him as tight as she dared. "Of course, I do! Sweetie, there isn't anything you could ever do that would make me stop loving you, okay? I will always love you!"

"I'll always love you, too, Lizbef," Neal whispered in her ear.

* * *

After Neal finished his bath and brushed his teeth, he climbed into bed, anxious to hear his story. Peter was surprised that the boy didn't complain about missing their usual game or movie, but he didn't question it. In truth, Neal's head was hurting and he felt tired.

After the story was read, Peter and Elizabeth kissed Neal goodnight and tucked him in tightly. He was asleep within minutes, which surprised both of them. Elizabeth decided to go to bed early, too, since her head was still hurting. It didn't take her long to fall asleep, either.

It was almost three in the morning when Peter woke up to someone shaking his leg. He opened his eyes to find a small shape outlined in the dark. "Neal? What's wrong, buddy? Bad dream?"

"I don't feel good, Peter," Neal answered miserably.

Peter turned on the lamp next to him and looked at Neal, who had bright red cheeks and glassy eyes. Peter put the back of his hand against Neal's cheek, surprised to feel how hot it was. "You're burning up, Neal! Do you feel like you're going to throw up?"

'No," he answered. "My head really hurts and my nose is all stuffed up. I can't breathe, Peter."

Peter pulled Neal into bed next to him and covered him with the blanket when he saw him shivering. Then, he gently shook Elizabeth's shoulder, trying to wake her up. She was much better at dealing with these things, he thought.

Elizabeth finally woke up and was surprised to see Neal in their bed. Usually, if Neal had a nightmare, she woke up to him crying or screaming. This time she hadn't heard anything. "What's going on? Bad dream?"

"Neal's sick, El. He's burning up and his head hurts."

Elizabeth immediately jumped into action, feeling Neal's cheek and forehead before heading into the bathroom for supplies. She returned with a thermometer that she quickly placed under Neal's tongue. While she was waiting for that to be done, she poured out some medication for Neal to take. Minutes later, it was determined that Neal had a temperature of 100.9F. After giving him the medicine that would hopefully take care of the fever and the headache, she settled him down next to her in the bed and softly sang to him. It didn't take Neal long to fall back asleep.

* * *

Author's note: A little more fluff for those of you who like that. I don't think it's going to last long, though, because I tend to like angst more than fluff and, well….. I am the one writing this, lol.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, if you'd like to share. I always find them so interesting to read. Thanks so much for reading.

Oh, and by the way…I should have one more chapter out soon, but then I'm going on vacation and won't have time to write. Hmmmmm…should I leave you all with a nasty cliffhanger with the next chapter? Or should it be a fluffy chapter to tide you over? Weigh in on what you want…


	21. Right Where I Want To Be

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 21

* * *

The next several days were miserable for everyone in the Burke household. By the second day of sickness, Neal was feeling somewhat better, but Elizabeth was down for the count. She spent the first day taking care of Neal after Peter got called in to the office, but the next morning she was too weak to get out of bed. To Peter's utter disbelief, it was his responsibility to look after a sick five year old. He thought he'd much rather be working on a pile of mortgage fraud cases or sitting in the surveillance van with Agent Humphries, who was notorious for kicking his shoes off in the van and putting his smelly feet up on the heater. Anything had to be better than taking care of a sick kid.

After making sure that Elizabeth was still sleeping, Peter went into Neal's room to find the little guy just waking up. He could tell the minute he walked through the door that Neal's nose was still stuffed up and his chest congested.

Neal opened his eyes to find Peter looking down at him. "Hey, bud…How are you feeling this morning?"

Neal rubbed his eyes with both of his fists and tried to take a deep breath. "I can't breathe good, Peter. My nose is full."

"I know, bud, but you'll feel better after I get some medicine in you, I'm sure. How about we go downstairs and you can watch cartoons while I fix us something to eat?"

Peter stood up and waited for Neal to climb out of bed, but Neal looked at Peter tiredly before holding up his hands to be picked up. "What's the matter with your legs, Neal? Did you forget how to walk?" Peter teased.

"I don't feel like walking. My legs feel all jiggly, Peter."

Peter picked Neal up and hoisted him onto his back. Taking him downstairs, he deposited Neal on the sofa and grabbed a blanket to drape over him.

"Not that blanket, Peter," Neal whined. "It's too scratchy. Lizbef always gives me the soft blue one."

Peter looked around for the blue blanket, but didn't see it anywhere. "Do you know where it is?" he asked.

Neal nodded. "It's on my bed."

Peter told Neal he would get the blanket, before quickly going upstairs again. He grabbed the blue blanket off the end of Neal's bed and took it back downstairs, hoping the kid would be satisfied so he could make himself some coffee. Once he laid the _soft _blue blanket over Neal, he turned to go into the kitchen, but was stopped by a weird sound coming from Neal. Turning back to him, he noticed that the kid had a sad look on his face.

"What's wrong now, Neal?" he asked.

Neal sneezed loudly and then looked glumly at Peter. "I forgot Charlie. Lizbef bought him for me yesterday when she bought my medicine. She said he would make me feel better and I want him, Peter."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Let me guess…He's upstairs, right?"

Neal just nodded as he sneezed again. "He's on my bed."

Without a word, Peter trudged back upstairs, wondering if he was ever going to get his coffee. Once back in Neal's bedroom, he grabbed a stuffed animal that looked like an aardvark or something. A minute later he handed it to Neal. "Here you go, Neal."

Neal giggled. "That's not Charlie, Peter…..that's Artie. He doesn't make me feel better like Charlie, but I still like him." Neal cuddled Artie to his chest. "But, I really want Charlie, okay? Please?"

For the third time, Peter trudged back up the stairs, this time looking for Charlie the Chimpanzee. He looked all over Neal's room, wondering when the kid had gotten so many toys. When he couldn't find the chimpanzee anywhere, he dropped down to his knees and looked under Neal's bed. He finally found the stuffed chimpanzee crammed between the headboard and the mattress. As Peter tried to dislodge the stuffed animal, he pulled a little too hard and he heard a ripping noise_. Oh, great…Just what I needed._

Pulling it all the way out, Peter inspected the stuffed animal, finding that one of its arms had ripped open. It wasn't that big of a rip and Peter figured that Elizabeth wouldn't have any problem fixing it once she felt better. He just hoped that Neal didn't freak out when he saw it.

Taking the chimpanzee down to Neal, he quickly handed it to the boy before heading into the kitchen. He was almost ready to grind the coffee beans when he heard a scream that sounded like a banshee screeching. Running out into the living room, he came face to face with Neal, who had just discovered the rip on Charlie the Chimpanzee's arm.

"Peter, help! All of his stuffing is gonna fall out. You have to fix him!" Neal, who had been yelling at the top of his lungs, started coughing incessantly.

"Hey, bud….you need to calm down, okay? Don't get yourself all worked up. It's only a little rip."

"No, it's not! It's huge, Peter. His insides are falling out, see?" Neal held up a small handful of cotton. "You have to fix him."

With that, Neal burst into tears. His sobs were punctuated by harsh, body jarring coughs and once again, Peter wished that he was sitting in the surveillance van with Agent Humphries and his smelly feet.

* * *

Peter Burke prided himself on being the type of man that could handle anything thrown at him, but apparently anything didn't include a stuffed chimpanzee named Charlie with a ripped arm. Tired of trying to convince Neal that Elizabeth would fix Charlie as soon as she felt better, Peter decided to tackle the task himself.

After fifteen minutes of trying to thread the thread through the eye of the needle and at least ten pokes to his finger, he gave up. Of course, Neal was still really concerned that Charlie's stuffing would leak completely out of him, so Peter needed to think outside of the box. Going back upstairs for the fourth time, he grabbed the first aid kit out of the bathroom closet and took it back downstairs. Kneeling down in front of Neal, he pulled out a roll of gauze and somewhat haphazardly wrapped Charlie's arm up.

"There you go, buddy. Now his stuffing won't fall out and we can wait for Elizabeth to fix him," Peter said, obviously proud of his ingenuity.

"Lizbef always kisses my owies, Peter, so you have to kiss Charlie's."

Peter started to argue, but just the sight of Neal's blue eyes looking at him so expectantly stopped him. He looked quickly around, as if some of his agents might be hiding out in his living room, and then bent down and kissed the stuffed chimpanzee right on the arm.

"Thank you, Peter," Neal said, adoringly. "Charlie feels all better now, even though you're not a mommy."

Neal's words caused Peter to hesitate. That he equated Elizabeth's kisses to his injuries as something a mother would do opened his eyes to the realization that Neal was truly starting to see them as his parents. Peter's heart soared at that and he was suddenly glad that he _wasn't _sitting in that surveillance van or that he _wasn't_ at his desk working on a pile of mortgage fraud cases. No, he was right where he wanted to be.

* * *

The rest of the day was filled with a cranky Neal and an even crankier Peter. At one point, when Peter was trying to get Neal to take his medicine, the bottle tipped over, spilling all over the coffer table and the rug. Peter tried his best to clean it up, but there was still a shadow of a stain on the rug. Elizabeth _would not_ be happy.

Now faced with the problem of not having any medication for the sick boy, Peter had to run to the store. Fortunately, Neal had fallen asleep on the sofa, so Peter picked him up and carried him upstairs, laying him in bed next to his wife. Gently waking her up, he told her what had happened and asked if she needed anything. Minutes later, he was on his way to the store, happy to finally be breathing some fresh air.

Once at the store, he searched for several minutes for the right medication. He found the brand that Elizabeth bought, but felt that the price was ridiculous, so instead he opted for an off-brand bottle. After gathering a few more things that Elizabeth had asked for, he paid for his items and headed back home.

Neal was still sleeping, so Peter took the time to pick up a little before settling down to watch ESPN. He had just gotten into a game, when he heard the sound of little feet coming downstairs. Looking up, he smiled at the sight of Neal standing there in his pajamas, one pajama pant leg tucked into his socks, and his hair sticking out even more wildly than earlier. Neal walked over to Peter and climbed up next to him in the armchair. Peter was surprised at how hot Neal's body felt against him. The kid was definitely running a fever.

"How do you feel, Neal?" Peter asked.

"I don't feel good, Peter. My head hurts and my throat's all scratchy. Can I have a popsicle?"

"Sure thing, buddy, but let's get some medicine in you first, okay?"

Peter picked Neal up and took him into the kitchen, setting him down on the kitchen counter. He pulled out the medicine and measured out the right amount into the lid. "Here you go, buddy. This will make you feel better."

Neal eyed the medicine closely. "That's not the medicine Lizbef gives me," he said warily. "That's yucky medicine."

"Come on, Neal…..it's the same medicine, just a different flavor."

"I don't like that flavor, Peter," he whined again. "That's a yucky flavor. I want the other medicine."

By this time, Peter's patience was running thin. "We don't have any of the other medicine, Neal. It spilled all over the rug, remember? Now, come on, just take this medicine."

Neal clamped his mouth shut when Peter brought the medicine up to his lips. He tried to say something, but Peter couldn't understand him. Peter's frustration was growing at the whole scene. "That's enough, little man. Open up and take the medicine."

Neal firmly shook his head no, still clamping his mouth shut. He soon discovered a big problem though. With his mouth clamped shut and his nose stuffed up, he couldn't breathe. Finally, he had to open his mouth to take a breath and when he did, Peter dumped the medicine into his mouth. Obviously, Peter hadn't thought that through very well, because Neal, who was caught off guard by this, started coughing violently, which caused the medicine to be sprayed out all over Peter.

"Damn it!" Peter yelled, which only caused to make Neal cry. "I'm sorry, Neal. You just surprised me." Peter tried to calm the little boy down, who was still crying and coughing violently. He patted Neal gently on the back, feeling guilty. Eventually, Neal stopped coughing and Peter grabbed a paper towel to clean up his face.

"I'm sorry, Neal," he said again. "Listen, bud, I know you think this medicine is yucky and you don't want to take it, but I really need you to, okay? You don't feel good and it will make you feel better. You want to feel better, don't you?"

Neal finally agreed to take the medicine, but every time Peter brought it up to his lips, he clamped his mouth shut. Finally, Peter came up with a different solution. "How about if I put in a little bit of juice, buddy? Then will you take it?"

After Neal agreed to that, Peter poured a little bit of apple juice in a cup and dumped the medicine into it. "Okay, drink up, Neal," he encouraged. He was relieved when Neal upended the cup and drank all the juice. His only response was to screw up his face for a few seconds. "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"It was yucky, Peter." Neal shuddered at the thought of it. "Can I have a popsicle now? I want an orange one."

Peter rumbled through the freezer and finally found an orange popsicle. "Let's go have a seat, bud."

Taking Neal back into the living room, he put the kid down on the sofa, making sure that the blue blanket was wrapped around him and that Charlie the Chimpanzee was next to him. He also made sure to put a dish towel on Neal's chest, just in case his popsicle dripped. The boy finally looked content, so Peter flopped down into his favorite chair, completely exhausted.

* * *

Elizabeth was feeling better by that evening and actually ventured down to where the boys were still laying around. She sat down next to Neal, who curled up against her side. She was happy to see that he didn't feel unusually warm. "Hey, sweetie….how are you feeling?"

"I feel better, Lizbef, but I missed you. Peter gave me the wrong medicine and he couldn't fix Charlie's arm. Then he wouldn't let me watch cartoons. I don't think he likes them. He made me eat soup, too, and I didn't like it. It tasted funny."

"You gave him the wrong medicine?" she asked Peter, concern written all over her face.

Peter rolled his eyes and Neal's dramatic retelling of the day. "It was the right medicine, El, just not the right flavor."

"I thought you liked that cherry flavor, Neal," she said.

"That bottle spilled, El, remember? When I went to the store, I bought a different flavor and apparently he hates it. I got him to take it, though, by mixing it with a little juice."

"Well, that's good. Now what happened to Charlie?"

Elizabeth watched patiently as Neal showed her what had happened to Charlie's arm. "His stuffing was falling out everywhere, Lizbef. Peter tried to fix him, but he couldn't. You should have seen him try, though, Lizbef. His face turned really, really red and he kept poking himself with the needle."

Elizabeth laughed at that image. The man she married didn't handle failure well at all, so she knew that his ego had to have been bruised by not being able to fix Charlie's arm. "It looks like he did a good job of patching Charlie up, though, doesn't it? "she asked, as she methodically rewrapped the stuffed animal's arm. "He definitely gets points for that."

"Yeah, he saved him," Neal said with a smile. "Just like he saved me. That's what Peter is good at…..Saving things!"

"He sure is good at saving things!" Elizabeth answered. She glanced down at the stain on her rug, a frown covering her pale face. "Well….except rugs. He's not very good at that, it seems."

* * *

Elizabeth hadn't lasted downstairs for too long, so it was up to Peter to get Neal fed, bathed and put to bed. Dinner wasn't easy, since the boy really didn't have an appetite. Neal finally agreed to eat some oatmeal and bananas, and Peter was just happy to get something in him. Bath time was a little better, because Neal's achy body enjoyed the warm water. He played a little, but mostly he just laid back in the bubbled water and relaxed. By the time he was dressed for bed and all tucked in, Peter could see the exhaustion in his eyes.

Neal had reluctantly taken more medicine that evening, so he was breathing and feeling a little bit better. He let Peter pick out a book to read, and he lay back in his bed, listening to Peter's voice. Before Peter was halfway through the book, his voice had lulled Neal to sleep. Peter was relieved to see that the boy's breathing was unlabored and peaceful, and he hoped that they were over the worst part of this illness. Just as Peter was about to walk out the door, he heard Neal's hoarse voice.

"Goodnight, Peter. I love you."

"I love you, too, little man. Goodnight." Peter felt as if he were walking on air as he went to bed.

* * *

Author's note: Awwww…Poor Neal and Elizabeth are sick. And poor Peter seems like he's stepped a little out of his comfort zone, doesn't he? He did good, though, if you ask me. How adorable is sick Neal?! I just wanted to bundle him up and take care of himself. I always hated it when my kids were sick, but they were always little cuddlers, which I loved.

This chapter is a little shorter than normal, but I'm hoping to have one more chapter done before I leave for vacation. No promises, but I'm working on it. And, just so you know, the majority of reviewers for the last chapter told me they would rather not be left with a cliffhanger. Come on, y'all…..where's your sense of adventure? Lol.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I sure do appreciate you all.


End file.
